The Man Who Sued God Page #3

I wouldn't worry. His wheels have

come off somewhere. Poor fellow.

I'm surprised you do not know.

- I think you have to respond.

- Don't turn the other cheek?

- I think he could be dangerous.

- Really?

He's more than a crank, Your Eminence, and I think

you'd get more respect if you'd get stuck in there.

He may be deluded,

but he's not gonna go away.

- Are you sure of this?

- My source is impeccable.

This is going to be a big story.

Bigger than you realise.

Shut up, Arthur.

Let's see who it is.

- Hello.

- You didn't think I'd be back?

I knew it.

I thought you'd be sooner.

I don't want to appear desperate.

- What have we got?

- Crayfish.

I bet you hate those,

catching them all the time.

I love them.

I just can't afford to eat them.

Is that a stunt, suing God?

- No, it's not a stunt.

- If it's not a stunt, it's a great story.

Yeah...story. You wind me down, then do a three

page feature on what a complete moron I am.

You can't win without the media.

- I just don't want them on my side.

- Oh, the big, bad media.

Excuse me, I've got you wrong.

You of course being the good media.

The highly principal, fair minded,

deeply insightful media?

Listen. What you're doing, suing God...

It's a brilliant idea.

You're going to the core, the kern of the existence,

and you're pulling a little wire.

Nobody is gonna understand it,

everybody is gonna misrepresent it,

and the whole thing is gonna be last,

like everything else that is any good.

I just thought I could help.

I'm not really suing God, you know.

I just hate the way that people use God as

some kind of giant all-purpose lying mechanism.

I know what you're doing.

I think you've cracked it.

I have to confess a personal interest.

I really hate insurance companies.

I really hate them.

A reasonable position, in my view.

I just want my boat back.

Maybe the company would settle if

I can just put enough pressure on them.

They've never settled. Trust me. They can't.

It would just open the floodgates.

You have to scare them. Really put the

wind at them. Only the media can do it.

That's why you need me.

I'll coach you.

Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands

together for woman of the moment, Cressida Roache.

Welcome.

We've got a great show for

you today. Hero or heretic?

We're ready for you now.

Oh...the f***ing Bible.

The fisherman from the south coast

who's brought a lawsuit against God.

Don't give them a lecture.

The camera deals in emotion, not reason.

- It doesn't need logic, like language does.

- Really?

It's so powerful. It's annihilating.

It's changing the way we think.

Television has made the world less

rational now than it was 200 years ago.

We're living in a mosaic of

half-comprehended,

shallow emotional responses like

- Pavlov's dog.

- Not me. I don't even watch TV.

- Not even like dogs. More like hamsters.

- Pavlov's hamsters.

Its essential function is

to trivialise the culture.

When you make it out there

and feel like you don't really exist...

- What was I saying?

- That I don't really exist.

We live in a world of simulations,

unconnected with real lived experience.

Cressida Roache is not a person.

She's a very careful construct.

A combination of familiar,

very commercial images.

You've got to force her back into a hole.

Humanise her. Really focus on her.

- Excuse me.

- We're coming.

Don't be dull and unanimated. Laugh a lot.

You know? Be yourself. Are you okay?

Sure.

This way, please.

Could you please wait here for a moment?

You've got a tissue in your...

- Can I take it?

- Yes.

You're good?

- Hi Steve. Cressida Roache.

- Hello.

Anna's filled me in on the background.

It's a fabulous story. Congratulations.

Mr. Myers, we're ready for you now.

- You okay?

- Yes.

- Good luck.

- 15 seconds to air.

Stand by.

Live in 3, 2...

Welcome back.

Who is this Steve Myers,

and what's his game?

We thought we'd find out.

Please welcome Steve Myers.

Many people might think this is the work of a crank.

How would you respond to them?

You find it amusing?

No. Well, yes. Somewhat.

Would you call yourself a religious man?

Somewhat.

In the broader sense, perhaps.

But me being a fisherman...

- Sometimes when you're out at sea it's easy to...

- To get confused?

It's that thing, "What is God?".

And, indeed, "Where is God?",

when it comes to putting him in jail.

That's very funny.

- It's not a joke.

- Isn't it?

No. The joke is the insurance companies.

You give your money to some global corporation

on the pretext that they will cover

you for any eventuality. For any risk.

Then something happens and they won't

pay you, because they say God's responsible.

- You're assuming God exists?

- No, they are.

Logically, if your argument is

with the insurance companies...

There is no logic involved. Forget logic.

Logic has no business here.

For instance...

If a woman is driving a car and she's in

an accident, and her daughter is injured,

and her daughter isn't covered by the insurance,

then the girl is virtually forced to sue her mother.

That's not to say that the girl hates

her mother any more than I hate God.

- This is unprecedented, isn't it?

- No.

This is the Bible.

I have marked a place.

I think you'll find that it says

"There is nothing new under the sun."

Nothing is unprecedented. That's the word of God.

I'm sure it offends some folks,

but I'm gonna fight these people.

- What about offending God?

- If God exists, I don't think he'd be offended at all.

Not if he has some sense of justice.

I think he'd be on my side.

- Steve Myers, thank you very much.

- Thank you.

Gerry, did you see him?

- What did I tell you.

- Good on you.

Thanks for your calming influence.

Hi. Maxime Jeffrey, Hawk Magazines.

Our readers would love to know more about you.

That's great. We'll be in touch.

Great.

You're good. Very good.

- You're very popular.

- Not better than I know.

Did you ever think of doing anything

like that, like Cressida?

No, I wanted to be a nurse in Africa.

Apparently, some of you think that

Myers is doing something decent.

He's not,

and it makes me sick.

He's outraged some religious groups, but Steve Myers

seems to have struck a chord with the wider community.

The council of churches, together with

representatives of the Jewish community

meet today to discuss

the problem of world poverty.

Ladies and gentlemen,

let us pause for a minute's

meditation and reflection,

and ask God for wisdom

in our deliberations.

The fellow's been seen on TV.

It doesn't mean we have to take it seriously?

- The reverse normally applies.

- It's in every newspaper in the country.

'Does God have a case to answer'', 'Is there

anybody up there?'. It makes them look real.

It's the 'Me-society'.

God is dead.

Figuratively speaking.

We've lost our mystery.

Mystery-schmystery.

Clout is what we need.

- Mystery and clout.

- Which one? The money or the box?

If you want to keep the money,

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