The Marrying Man Page #4

her clothes right off.

You dragged her

into this bed, right?

- Right.

- I bet she kicked and screamed.

She must have begged you!

And you said what?

You said, "Shut up, baby,

'cause I'm takin' what I want."

Right. That's exactly what I said.

Is that right, sweetheart?

Is that the way he did it?

Uh, yeah, I guess.

I mean...

No, I'm... I'm so scared

I don't know what to say.

Gee, this is some ordeal.

You know what I don't get?

- What's your name?

- Charley.

What I don't get is why?

You knew she was my girl.

You knew what would happen

if you got caught.

And you were that hot to trot?

You were that hot

to get into her pants?

That what?

Charley!

Well, I, uh...

I, uh...

I must've been drunk...

too much celebrating.

I was out here on

my bachelor party.

Right. I heard that.

Gettin' married, huh?

That's nice.

- Congratulations, Charley.

- Thank you.

You must be as embarrassed

about this as I am, right?

Yes, this...

this is embarrassing.

All right.

I'll tell you what.

Why don't you

both get dressed...

'cause I think we have to talk.

Let's get an ice cream soda

somewhere, shall we?

Hmm.

What'd you say your old man

would pay for you, Charley?

Pay for me?

- You mean, as in ransom?

- Naw.

This ain't no kidnap.

This is a probable cement job.

Couple of million, you think?

I would like to avoid

involving my father.

- He's very old, very sick.

- I see.

But I'll give you

whatever I have.

Then you're gonna pay

for Vicki, too?

You two going Dutch?

- Come on.

- Benny, I'm sorry.

- I really am sorry.

- Oh, ho-ho.

Hey, baby, level with me.

Is he really an animal

like you said?

Well, uh, that was

just something to say.

- I mean...

- Ha, ha, ha!

What's so funny, Charley?

- Oh, no.

- I'm so scared!

I mean, I'm really...

I'm really scared.

I don't think I've ever

been this scared...

in my whole life.

That's good.

You just relax, buddy.

'Cause you'll stop

laughing real quick.

Wake up.

Mr. Siegel has

a job for you.

- Where are we?

- My problem is this.

Vicki was on

her way out anyway.

She was a good kid.

And I always figured

I'd set her up...

a little business somewhere,

a few bucks in her account.

Two years with Benny,

huh, baby?

Entitles you to a little

security, don't you think?

I'll make out, I swear.

On the other hand,

if a guy screws my girl...

he's gotta pay for her.

So why not pay both

bills at the same time?

Come here.

You marry her, Charley.

That takes care ofher security.

And she marries you.

Then I f***ed up your life,

'cause she's no damn good.

Everybody gets something this way, see?

That's how I've run the biggest

hotel in Las Vegas, Charley.

Bobby, you want to hit it?

You gotta be kidding me.

I can't marry her.

I'm marrying somebody else.

I know, the Hollywood

big shot's daughter.

After he reads

the morning papers...

he's gonna cancel the caterers.

Vicki, come on.

Take the arm of your animal.

Come on.

- Step up to the altar.

- This is crazy!

This is what?

- It's not that.

We don't have a wedding license.

- No.

It's okay.

I own the chapel.

- We don't have a ring.

- No, we don't.

Ah!

Uh, uh...

- What?

- Can I see your hand?

Anything here with your size?

- Try this one.

- That doesn't fit. I can tell by...

- Give me that one back.

- That's not the one.

- I've got it on my finger.

- That's mine.

- That's the one I give you.

- This one isn't right.

We're just workin' out

the ring thing.

Got it.

Do you,

Victoria Rosemary Anderson...

take Charles for your

lawful wedded husband?

I'm sorry,

we can't hear in the back.

Speak up, dear.

Uh, she did.

And do you,

Charles Raymond Pearl...

take Victoria to be your

lawfully wedded wife...

for as long as you

both shall live?

It... It's not

that you're, uh...

I really think

that you're, uh...

The thing is, that...

Yeah, I do.

- Did you hear that?

- Perfectly.

With the power vested in me...

I now pronounce you

man and wife.

Hey, no kiss?

Where's the kiss?

We've seen the other stuff.

We want to see a little kiss.

D:

Rush it. I want to make

that early edition.

No problem.

You know what, Charley?

I got a feeling one day

you're gonna wish...

we gave you that cement job.

I just said to the guys yesterday...

"Hot always gets you

into trouble."

When you're hot, you can bet

it's gonna screw up your life.

I didn't rape you.

I just left

the window open a little.

It's too bad you don't have

the balls you had last night.

Did I blame you?

It's my mistake.

- I'm the one that made the first move.

- Gee, thanks.

Are you always gonna be...

this cheerful in the morning?

What mornings? This is

the first morning and the last.

What I said last night

was the truth.

It was the greatest

experience of my life.

I want you. I just don't

want to be married to you.

I cannot believe

that I'm driving around...

in a brand-new

Packard convertible...

married to a man worth millions,

and I want to throw up!

I was the only one having

a good time last night?

- Maybe.

- Do you always moan, scream...

and drive your fingernails into

somebody you're bored with?

No, I really had

a terrific time last night.

It's just that I haven't

been happy since we got married.

We'll get it annulled as

soon as we get back to L.A.

Fast enough for you, lover boy?

No, we can do it quicker.

I have a lawyer in Palm Springs.

We'll be there in 20 minutes.

Fine. Does breakfast

go with that?

Look, I'll make good.

I'll come up with a settlement.

whatever you want.

Don't treat me like

a bimbo, Charley.

It's my wedding day.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to...

I'm really sorry.

Oh, sh*t!

Wow!

I've never been on

the front page before.

Could I have a few

to send to my family?

"Heir forsakes studio princess

for lounge singer."

Those'll do.

I wonder what it would cost

to buy every copy in L.A.?

If she loves you,

she'll wait for you.

Her father's probably

waiting for me, too.

I wish I was dead.

Thanks.

Hey.!

- You coming?

- I don't think so.

Where are you gonna go?

You don't have any money,

a car, any clothes.

Come on.

I'll set you up in L.A.

You know,

you guys are all alike.

There are two things

I'm gonna do from now on...

I'm gonna earn my own living...

and I'm gonna

keep my window shut.

So long, Charley.

Three months!

You want Adele Horner

to wait three months...

until you get annulled from

some cheap, blonde bombshell...

bimbo cocktail waitress?

She's not a cocktail waitress.

She sings with a band.

I've been trying to tell you...

we did not get married

of our own free will!

We were kidnapped and forced

to get married at gunpoint.

At gunpoint?

What is that, a new crime wave?

They grab people on the street

and make them get married?

I warned you about him,

didn't I?

Nobody gets forced to get married

at gunpoint except hillbillies.

And you're no hillbilly, you pervert

polo-playing goddamn playboy!

- Do I look stupid?

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