The Mikado Page #5

find it a drawback.

Not necessarily, bless you.

It all depends.

Oh! I think it very

indelicate of you...

to refer to such a subject

on such a day.

If my married happiness

is to be - to be -

Cut short?

Well, cut short in a month...

can't you let me forget it?

Yum-Yum! Yum-Yum in tears -

and on her wedding morn?

They've been reminding me that

in a month you're to be beheaded.

A month? Why, what's a month?

These divisions of time

are purely arbitrary.

Who says 24 hours make a day?

There's a popular impression

to that effect.

Then we'll efface it.

We'll call each second a minute -

each minute an hour...

each hour a day

and each day a year.

Oh, at that rate, we've about 30 years

of married happiness before us.

Yes. How time flies when one

is thoroughly enjoying oneself.

That's the way to look at it.

Don't let's be downhearted.

There's a silver lining

to every cloud.

# Brightly dawns our wedding day #

# Joyous hour, we give thee greeting #

# Whither, whither art thou fleeting #

# Fickle moment, prithee stay #

# Fickle moment, prithee stay #

# What though mortal joys be hollow #

# Pleasures come, if sorrows follow #

- # Though the tocsin sound ere long #

- # Ere long #

- # Though the tocsin sound ere long #

- # Ding-dong, ding-dong #

- # Though the tocsin sound ere long #

- # Ding-dong, ding-dong #

# Ding-dong #

- # Ding #

- # Ding #

# Dong #

# Yet until the shadows fall #

# Over one and over all #

# Sing a merry madrigal #

# Sing a merry madrigal #

# Sing a merry madrigal #

- # Fa, la, fa, la # - # Fa, la,

la, la, la, fa, la, la, la, la, la #

- # Fa, la, la, la, la #

- # Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la #

- # Fa, la, la, la, la #

- # Fa, la, la, la, la #

- # Fa, la, la, la, la #

- # Fa, la, la, la, la #

- # Fa, la, la, la, la #

- # Fa, la, la, la, la #

# Fa, la, la, la, la, la #

# Fa, la, la, la, fa, la #

- # Fa #

- # Fa, la, la, la, fa, la #

# Fa, la, la #

# Fa, la, la #

# Fa, la #

# La ##

- Oh, go on. Don't mind me. - Oh,

I'm afraid we're distressing you.

Never mind.

I must get used to it.

Only please do it by degrees.

Begin by placing your

arm around her waist.

No, no.

Not yet. Let me get used

to that first.

Oh, wouldn't you like to retire?

It must pain you to see us

so affectionate together.

No. I must learn to bear it.

Now oblige me by allowing her

head to rest on your shoulder.

Like that?

I'm much obliged to you.

Now, k -

k- k-k -

kiss her.

Thank you.

Thank you.

It's simple torture!

Oh. Oh, come, come. Bear up.

After all, it's only for a month.

No. It's no use deluding oneself

with false hopes.

- What do you mean?

- My child. My poor child.

My little bride that

was to have been.

"Was to have been"?

You never can be mine.

- Oh!

- What?

Oh, I'm so glad!

I've just ascertained

that, by the Mikado's law...

when a married man is beheaded,

his wife is buried alive.

- Buried alive?

- Buried alive!

Buried alive.

It's a most unpleasant death.

- But whom did you get that from?

- Oh, from Pooh-Bah.

- He's my solicitor.

- But he may be mistaken.

So I thought. So I consulted the

attorney general, the lord chief justice...

the master of the rolls, the judge

ordinary and the lord chancellor.

They're all of the same opinion.

Never knew such unanimity

on a point of law in my life.

But stop a bit. This law

has never been put in force.

Not yet. You see, flirting is the only

crime punishable with decapitation...

and married men never flirt.

Oh, I quite forgot that.

Well, I - I suppose I may take it that

my dream of happiness is at an end.

- Darling -

- Yes?

Oh.

I don't want to appear selfish...

and I love you with all my heart.

It makes a difference, doesn't it?

You see, burial alive - It's -

It's such a stuffy death.

I call it a beast of a death.

You see my difficulty, don't you?

Yes.

And I see my own. If I insist

on you carrying out your promise...

I doom you to a hideous death.

If I release you,

you marry Ko-Ko at once.

Oh!

# Here's a how-de-do #

# If I marry you

when your time has come to perish #

# Then the maiden whom you cherish

must be slaughtered too #

# Here's a how-de-do

Here's a how-de-do #

# Here's a pretty mess #

# In a month or less

I must die without a wedding #

# Let the bitter tears I'm shedding

witness my distress #

# Here's a pretty mess

Here's a pretty mess #

# Here's a state of things

To her life she clings #

# Matrimonial devotion

doesn't seem to suit her notion #

# Burial it brings

Here's a state of things #

# Here's a state of things #

# With a passion that's intense

I worship and adore #

# But the laws of common sense

we oughtn't to ignore #

# If what he says is true

'tis death to marry you #

# Here's a pretty state of things

Here's a pretty how-de-do #

# Here's a pretty state of things

A pretty state of things #

- # Here's a how-de-do # - # Here's

a how-de-do # - # Here's a how-de-do #

# For if what he says is true

I cannot, cannot marry you #

# Here's a pretty,

pretty state of things #

# Here's a pretty how-de-do #

# Here's a how-de-do #

# If I marry you

when your time has come to perish #

# Then the maiden whom you cherish

must be slaughtered too #

# Here's a how-de-do

Here's a how-de-do #

# Here's a pretty mess #

# In a month or less

I must die without a wedding #

# Let the bitter tears I'm shedding

witness my distress #

# Here's a pretty mess

Here's a pretty mess #

# Here's a state of things

To her life she clings #

# Matrimonial devotion

doesn't seem to suit her notion #

# Burial it brings

Here's a state of things #

# Here's a state of things #

# With a passion that's intense

I worship and adore #

# But the laws of common sense

we oughtn't to ignore #

# If what he says is true

'tis death to marry you #

# Here's a pretty state of things

Here's a pretty how-de-do #

# Here's a pretty state of things

A pretty state of things #

- # Here's a how-de-do # - # Here's

a how-de-do # - # Here's a how-de-do #

# For if what he says is true

I cannot, cannot marry you #

# Here's a pretty,

pretty state of things #

# Here's a pretty how-de-do ##

Ko-Ko. Ko-Ko!

The Mikado and his suite

are approaching the city -

and will be here in 10 minutes.

- The Mikado?

- Mmm.

He's coming to see

if his orders have been carried out.

Oh, I can't live without Yum-Yum. This

afternoon I perform the happy dispatch.

Now look here, you know. This is

getting serious. A bargain's a bargain.

As a man of honor and a gentleman,

you are bound to die ignominiously...

at the hands of the

public executioner.

Very well then.

- Behead me.

- Ooh!

What? Now?

Certainly. At once.

Chop it off, Ko-Ko. Chop it off.

I don't go about prepared to execute

gentlemen at a moment's notice.

Oh!

Why, I never even killed a bluebottle.

Oh, come, my poor fellow. After

all, if I don't mind, why should you?

Remember.

Sooner or later, it must be done.

Must it?

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