The Mikado Page #6

I'm not so sure about that.

What do you mean?

Why should I kill you

when making an affidavit...

...that you've been executed

will do just as well?

Here are plenty of witnesses

the lord chief justice...

...the lord high admiral,

commander-in-chief,

...secretary of state for

the Home Department...

first lord of the treasury and

the chief commissioner of police.

- Where are they?

- There they are.

They'll all swear to it. Won't you?

Am I to understand that all

of us high officers of state...

are required to perjure ourselves

to ensure your safety?

Why not? You'll be grossly

insulted, as usual.

Will the insult be cash down

or at a date?

It will be a ready

money transaction.

Oh.

Very good.

Choose your fiction,

and I'll endorse it.

Ha-ha!

Family pride.

How do you like that, me buck?

But I tell you that

life without Yum-Yum -

Oh, Yum-Yum, Yum-Yum.

Bother Yum-Yum!

Take Yum-Yum, and marry Yum-Yum. Only

go away and never come back anymore.

- Yum-Yum, are you

particularly busy? - No.

Then go along with His Grace,

the archbishop of Titipu.

- He'll marry you at once.

- But if I'm to be buried alive -

Don't ask any questions!

Do as I tell you.

- Oh, but one moment. You... - Not for

worlds. If the Mikado finds you alive...

I shall have the greatest difficulty

in persuading him I've beheaded you.

Well, now. Wait a minute.

You have to give me a chance -

##

##

# Miya sama, miya sama #

# On n'm-ma no maye ni #

# Pira-Pira suru no wa #

# Nan gia na #

# Toko tonyare, tonyare na #

##

# Miya sama, miya sama #

# On n'm-ma no maye ni #

# Pira-Pira suru no wa #

# Nan gia na #

# Toko tonyare, tonyare na #

##

# From every kind of man

obedience I expect #

# I'm the emperor of Japan #

# And I'm his daughter-in-law-elect #

# He'll marry his son

He's only got one #

# To his daughter-in-law-elect #

# My nature is love and light

My freedom from all defect #

# Is insignificant quite #

# Compared with his

daughter-in-law-elect #

# Bow, bow #

# To his daughter-in-law-elect #

# Bow, bow #

# To his daughter-in-law-elect #

# Miya sama, miya sama #

# On n'm-ma no maye ni #

# Pira-Pira suru no wa #

# Nan gia na #

# Toko tonyare, tonyare na ##

# A more humane Mikado

never did in Japan exist #

# To nobody second I'm certainly

reckoned a true philanthropist #

# It is my very humane endeavor

to make, to some extent #

# Each evil liver a running river #

# Of harmless merriment #

# My object all sublime #

# I shall achieve in time #

# To let the punishment fit the crime

the punishment fit the crime #

# And make each prisoner pent

unwillingly represent #

# A source of innocent merriment

of innocent merriment #

# The advertising quack who wearies

with tales of countless cures #

# His teeth, I've enacted

shall all be extracted #

- # By terrified amateurs #

- Yes!

# The music hall singer attends a

series of masses and fugues and ops #

# By Bach interwoven

with Spohr and Beethoven #

- # At classical Monday Pops #

- Yes!

# The billiard sharp whom anyone

catches His doom's extremely hard #

# He's made to dwell in a dungeon cell #

# On a spot that's always barred #

# And there he plays extravagant

matches in fitless finger-stalls #

# On a cloth untrue

with a twisted cue #

# And elliptical #

# Billiard balls #

Yes!

# My object all sublime #

# I shall achieve in time #

# To let the punishment fit the crime

the punishment fit the crime #

# And make each prisoner pent

unwillingly represent #

# A source of innocent merriment

of innocent merriment #

# His object all sublime #

# He will achieve in time #

# To let the punishment fit the crime

the punishment fit the crime #

# And make each prisoner pent

unwillingly represent #

# A source of innocent merriment

of innocent merriment ##

I am honored in being permitted

to welcome Your Majesty.

I guess the object of Your Majesty's visit.

Your wishes have been attended to.

The execution has taken place.

Oh, you've had an execution, have you?

Yes.

The coroner has just handed me

his certificate.

I am the coroner.

"At Titipu,

in presence of the lord chancellor...

lord chief justice, attorney general...

secretary of state

for the Home Department...

lord mayor and...

groom of the second floor front"?

They were all present, Your Majesty.

I counted them myself.

A very good house. I wish I'd

been in time for the performance.

A tough fellow he was too,

Your Majesty.

A man of gigantic strength.

His struggles were terrific.

It was really a remarkable scene.

Describe it!

# Th-Th-The criminal cried

as he dropped him down #

# In a state of wild alarm #

# With a frightful, frantic,

fearful frown #

# I bared my big r-right arm #

# I seized him by his little pigtail #

# And on his knees fell he #

# As he squirmed and struggled

and gurgled and guggled #

# I drew my snickersnee #

# My snickersnee #

# Oh, never shall I

forget the cry #

# Or the shriek that shrieked he #

# As I gnashed my teeth

when from its sheath #

# I drew my snickersnee #

# We know him well

He cannot tell #

# Untrue or groundless tales #

# He always tries to utter lies

and every time he fails #

# He shivered and shook

as he gave the sign #

# For the stroke he didn't deserve #

# When all of a sudden

his eye met mine #

# And it seemed to brace his nerve #

# For he nodded his head

and kissed his hand #

# And he whistled an air, did he #

# As the saber true

cut cleanly through #

# His cervical vertebrae #

# His vertebrae #

# When a man's afraid

a beautiful maid #

# Is a cheering sight to see #

# And it's, oh, I'm glad

that moment sad #

# Was soothed by sight of me #

# Her terrible tale

you can't assail #

# With truth it quite agrees #

# Her taste exact

for faultless fact #

# Amounts to a disease #

# Now, though you'd have said

that head was dead #

# For its owner dead was he #

# It stood on its neck

with a smile well-bred #

# And bowed three times to me #

# It was none of your

impudent offhand nods #

# But as humble as could be #

# For it clearly knew

the deference due #

# To a man of pedigree #

# Of pedigree #

# And it's, oh, I vow

this deathly bow #

# Was a touching sight to see #

# Though trunkless yet

it couldn't forget #

# The deference due to me #

# This haughty youth

he speaks the truth #

# Whenever he finds it pays #

# And in this case

it all took place #

# Exactly as he says #

# Exactly, exactly, exactly, exactly #

# As he says ##

All this is very interesting,

and I should like to have seen it.

But we came about a

totally different matter.

A year ago, my son, the heir to the throne

of Japan, bolted from our imperial court.

Indeed?

Had he any reason to be dissatisfied

with his position?

None whatever. On the contrary,

I was going to marry him.

And yet he fled.

I am surprised that he should

have fled from one so lovely.

That's not true.

No.

He's now masquerading in this town,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes