The Most Hated Woman in America Page #5

Well, there is no such thing

as a nondenominational prayer.

Uh, if we have, suddenly,

the Muslims take over,

and everyone would be required

to say a prayer to Allah...

why, they would be as much up in arms

as they are now...

Well, freedom of religion does mean,

does it not,

freedom to, uh... follow any beliefs

that you may wish?

Which also means

the freedom not to believe.

That's right. I'm not gonna

let the church tell me what I can say.

You know, I have a reputation

for the use of the four-letter word.

And I would like to talk tonight

about the use of the four-letter word.

What, obscene words? Or...

- Let me give you an example.

- All right.

- Uh, Johnny, you were recently married.

- Mmm-hmm.

And how about if you went to your wife,

and you grabbed her and said,

"Uh, may I have carnal knowledge of you?"

I don't remember using those exact terms.

Here's to the f***ing cause.

Let me, uh...

Let me interrupt for a moment.

We have to do this commercial,

and we will be right back. Stay with us.

Austin has a new resident,

and not everyone is happy about it.

For God so loved the world

that he gave his only begotten son!

This week, Madalyn Murray O'Hair

opened the doors of her new

American Atheists center to much protest.

Well,

I couldn't take Baltimore anymore.

Windows were broken and tires slashed.

I was shot at several times.

Drove my poor mother

to an early grave, I do believe.

The center has a printing press,

library and recording studio

for her syndicated radio series.

I do love a good fight.

And taking on God and the church is...

well, kind of the ultimate, isn't it?

So, as long as there's a fight to be had,

I'll still be a squeaky wheel.

Well, there you have it, people.

Now let's get something started!

You watch and learn, Red,

and one of these days you'll be running

this whole goddamn place.

Why don't you help Sandy with the mail?

- Hmm?

- Okay.

Where's your brother?

I... I haven't seen him.

Mother.

11:
00 in the morning, you little sh*t.

F*** off.

Is this the kind of example

you wanna set for your daughter?

My daughter?

The one you took custody of?

You're too drunk

to piss your name in the snow,

let alone take care of a child.

Doesn't matter. You're gonna do

the same thing to her that you did to me.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

I wanna live my own life! Okay?

I'm sick and tired of living your life!

What, you're gonna leave me?

Like all the rest of 'em?

After everything

I've f***ing done for you?

Mother... goodbye.

Billy Boy!

Bill, come back.

Atheist Madalyn Murray O'Hair

competing with, debating with,

the man who brought the Bible

to the B-girls in New Orleans,

the Reverend Bob Harrington.

God and the savior

versus atheist Madalyn Murray O'Hair.

Madalyn, what exactly is it

that you have against God?

First off, there isn't any.

And second off, your God manifests itself

through organized churches,

your organized movement.

And every single one of them,

including you,

is always interested in money.

You show me once

where Jesus Christ

passed out a collection plate.

Now, Madalyn, I... I see you here...

and I hear you talking.

And you're lost.

You need Jesus.

Real bad. Real bad!

I am so happy that I am lost.

All this religious nonsense...

Because where you're going,

there's gonna be a lake of fire.

There's gonna be a weepin' and a wailin'

and a gnashing of teeth.

You gotta be kiddin' me!

What the hell do you care where I go,

what I believe?

I don't care what you believe in.

I wanna bring you to God.

I want to save your soul.

I don't wanna be brought to God.

I don't want to be saved.

And I don't want Jesus,

thank you very much.

All right, we'll be back in a moment.

You know... you and I

could make money doing this.

I do okay, thanks.

Oh, sure.

We... we both do okay.

But together,

we could do a hell of a lot better.

You just give that

a little thought, Madalyn.

They claim it's a first

in the history of religion.

Flamboyant New Orleans evangelist

Reverend Bill Harrington

has arrived in Chicago

for a series of head-to-head debates

with the infamous atheist,

Madalyn Murray O'Hair.

Ladies and gentlemen,

there is a devil among us.

Let us all pray.

Pray to save the soul

of Madalyn Murray O'Hair.

Save me?

Save me?

Oh, Jesus couldn't save himself.

The New Testament?

Oh, a load of bull

written by a bunch of faggots.

Oh, come on. Y'all know that.

Jesus was as queer as a three-dollar bill.

You dirty heathen!

Mmm-hmm?

Let me see what that looks like.

Yeah. Oh, that's not bad.

You were on fire

out there tonight, darlin'.

Every time you tear into this Bible,

I save another 50 souls.

Yeah, I know you like that bit.

I do. Why don't you let me see

how the numbers are here?

Oh, not bad.

We'll do better in Kansas City.

I'll burn the goddamn book in Kansas City.

Oh, Praise the Lord!

Thank you, Garth.

I'll keep praying for your soul, Madalyn.

I'll keep cursing yours.

You think we won anyone over?

Oh, I don't know, honey.

Did you hear from your father?

Oh, he'll be back when he's shitfaced

and needs his ass wiped.

He just needed a little break.

We'll see him again soon enough.

Hey, when all this is over,

how about we take a little trip, huh?

I spent the last 20 years

trying to escape

the overpowering shadow of my mother.

While she was fighting the world...

I was fighting for my life.

I didn't realize

how bad it had gotten till...

I got out of Austin and...

started locking myself

in the bathroom every night

with a bottle of whiskey

and a bucket of ice.

And then one night, I...

I had this sudden rush of sorrow.

Because I understood.

I understood the, uh... the hatred

and the... the self-pity

that she was feeling.

Because that's what I was feeling.

But I come here, and I...

I see others,

much worse situations than me, and...

you overcome, and you accept them.

And that, uh...

That's what I'm gonna do.

Our Father...

who art in heaven,

hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come,

thy will be done,

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread,

forgive us our trespasses,

as we forgive those

who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom and the power

and the glory...

forever and ever...

Amen.

Amen.

Frank, I need another day

on the Riverwalk article.

I just got a new lead on the O'Hair story.

- Frank, listen.

- Jack...

Robin Murray's Porsche

just turned up abandoned at the airport

and Garth's car sold to some guy

out by Canyon Lake. I mean, come on.

Follow it up.

- Are you serious?

- Yeah.

Frank! I love you!

All right.

Nope.

I didn't buy it from him.

- You sure?

- Positive.

It was a short guy.

He was younger, had dark hair.

All right.

If I sent a sketch artist to your house,

would you be willing to sit down with him?

- Sure.

- Thanks, Mr. Sparrow.

I don't get it.

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