The Movie Out Here Page #8

No, which is why I have

a band coming shortly.

I'll believe it when I see it.

Damn, look, you know what, man?

You think I'm buying

this bullshit you spouting?

Some guru? Please.

Look at you, man,

You look like

a retarded Mongolian pimp.

What the f*** are you wearing?

It's Italian velour.

I have very sensitive skin.

Maybe if you stopped

Beating your dick

against everything, man,

Every five seconds,

You wouldn't be so sensitive.

Don't judge me.

Judge you?

Hey! Hey!

You know what I had to do

to get that, man?

# The life you had known

# The pain that you show...

# I count all of

# The times you choke

# The last miracle

Edith?

# The emptiness of hope

# When all you want

# Is to be a stranger...

you know what, it's about

bloody time you called.

Do you know

how many things I have to do?

# A stranger...

the other day,

I tried to order chocolate cake,

And they didn't even have

chocolate cake!

# The lives you recall

# The things that you stole...

I'm glad I got you...

...and you're not even

here to help me!

You're absolutely pathetic!

We'll see about that.

Do you know how many times

I've had to make a phone call

on your behalf?

You can't even answer

your f***ing...

# The lover that you hold

# Is no more than a ghost...

a sorry excuse for a...

# I've seen

the cold and the rain... #

You can't break up with me.

You'll never work

in any firm...

You're the biggest loser I've...

F***er!

Adam!

What are you doing?

Where did you get this?

Dude, get in,

we've got a party to save!

Hey.

You all right?

No.

Oh.

Problem with your lady parts?

No.

It's that douchebag, Adam.

Whoa. Adam?

A douchebag?

Yeah, douchebag.

I'm sorry, Theo.

I'm the one

that should be sorry,

I think.

I didn't realize

I was about to ruin

everything for you.

Right, so him coming over here

trying to f*** over his friend

Doesn't make him a douchebag?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, he did not

know he was doing that, okay?

He just found out.

Dude, you would never

do anything to hurt me,

You were just doing your job.

You've got a great career,

it's going to be awesome.

Wait, look, look.

Adam is killing himself

about it, okay?

My man is a certified

straight-Shooter.

He's the real deal, that dude.

I'm telling you,

he's killing himself.

"Had" a great career.

What?

I quit.

So he wasn't just lying

to get in my pants?

You know, you seem

a little disappointed by that.

Sh*t, I'll lie to you

to get into your pants.

I'll lie to you all day

to get in those pants.

I'm just playin',

I won't, I won't.

You know, coming out here,

It's made me realize

how miserable I've been

Since I left.

I'm telling you

he's got morals.

He's got goals.

He's basically

the opposite of me.

I mean, don't tell anybody this,

But I kind of wish I could be

more like Adam.

Not white, still black,

But more like him, I'm sayin'.

I wish that, you know,

I could have a relationship

That didn't last just one night

And often involve a couple

midgets from the Bahamas.

But I'm not wired

that way, all right?

You know, it's cool right now,

But soon, I'm going to be

the dude that's at the club,

Just a little too old

to be at the club,

With super white teeth

And-And balls that are

as smooth as eggs.

Waxopolis international

needs a business manager

For its fernie division.

So, you need a manager?

Yeah, dude, honestly,

I was going to ask

Jeremiah to do it,

But I've come to the conclusion

That he has somewhat duplicitous

and ulterior motives.

Plus, I think he's a sex addict.

Theo, is that... Is that you?

I would be honoured

to work with you.

It's a deal, partner.

But Adam, meanwhile,

You can have a family,

Some kids running around,

A wife,

And balls that are

hairy as sh*t,

Because that's Adam.

Are you sure

he's on the up and up?

Come on, now.

I've known that dude

since I was in diapers.

Although that was just

a few years ago.

I was dating this chick, man,

This waitress, oh, my god...

Okay, shh. Shh. Shh...

thank you for letting me know.

I do what I can, you know.

Oh, snap, you got to be...

Looks like the party's

about to get started!

All right, let's do this!

Yeah!

Ladies and gentlemen,

Put your hands together

for my friends,

Down with Webster!

# Whoa is me I'm so whoa #

# See me decked out

from my head to my toe #

# Whoa is me I'm so whoa #

# Everywhere I go

I'm a one-Man show #

# I feel like

a Hollywood star... #

Marty!

Hey!

Remember me?

What's with this?

Mcsorley is under arrest

For terrorizing Marjorie brown

And Phillip Jones.

Marge and Phil?

But they're my neighbours.

"Were" your neighbours.

They got so freaked out,

They put their property

up for sale.

Wait a minute.

Why would Marty Mcsorley

terrorize your neighbours?

Who else had access

to that suit?

No one.

I keep it locked

in the condo that I rent.

Who's your landlord?

Douce? Douce, douce...

rick douce?

You mean Mick!

Of course.

Mick's wearing the suit

To terrorize your neighbours

To force them to sell,

Clearing the way

for his father.

Yeah.

Guys, you've got motive.

He's trying to

force them to sell,

And you've got evidence.

He's the only one,

other than Marty here,

To have access to the suit.

# The more I feel it

# Whoa!

# The more I need it

# Whoa!

# You say whoa...

what if Mick were behind this

So his dad could get

his hands on the property?

Genius.

Guys, I think fresh

just cracked this case.

Speak of the douche,

Here he is now.

What's up, jizz-Napkins?

I came to check out

Your f***ing lame party.

Mick deuce,

You are under arrest

For assaulting

two fernie residents.

Guys...

I mean, there's got to be

some kind of a mistake here.

This little lawyer

Snatch-Napkin

Is putting sh*t in your head.

Nice try, Mick.

It's not going to work.

F*** you, Adam.

I'm god out here.

Not anymore.

You're coming with us now.

Recognize this?

Whoa...

yeah.

Your mom left it on my chest.

# Whoa is me!

I'm so whoa! #

Hey!

Marty Mcsorley,

will you sign my stick?

Isn't that mine?

Do not put faith

In possessions, Theo!

Sorry.

Oh, hey, Mick.

Did you find what you wanted

when you broke into waxopolis?

- "Broke into"?

- Yeah.

I was busy masturbating,

And Mick broke in.

You broke into waxopolis?

What?

# ...To be so dope

that you like me #

# And me like whoa

Isn't that your girlfriend

making out with another guy?

Ha, I ain't

going to fall for that.

That does look

a lot like Cathy.

We're going to use

this evidence against him.

Stand back, fellas.

I f***ed Cathy.

# You say whoa

# Whoa is me

I'm so whoa! #

Ladies and gentlemen,

The forecast is calling for

18 inches of snow!

# informer...

# licky boom-Boom dem

# 'Tective man says daddy snow

stabbed someone down the lane #

# A licky boom-Boom dem

# Informer

# You know say daddy snow me

# I'm gonna blame

a licky boom-Boom dem... #

- Hey.

- Hey.

Hi!

I'm really sorry

about getting all mad

And stuff.

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