The Movie Out Here Page #7

and Theo?

Man, that dude's a victim

Of being born with

his head up his ass.

Either way,

it's not your fault.

I can't help but feel

like it is.

The guy's practically family.

We've got to figure out a way

to make this party happen.

All right, fine, fine.

Maybe I can get the beer.

How do you plan on doing that?

Well, I have made a lot of

girlfriends in fernie.

We've only been here for a day.

Does that surprise you?

I'm the only black man

for miles around.

This is light.

How does this help?

These women got

to have some beer,

Or know someone

who does have some beer.

I'll simply exchange

my body for beer.

Huh?

Okay. Okay, you hunt

for the beer,

I'm going to continue to set up.

Pow. All right.

Hey, Marty! Hey, Marty!

You're going too fast!

Wait up!

I'll follow you to the can!

Thanks, trav.

Yeah, that's great.

Yeah, yeah,

I'll tell her you said hi.

So, what did

the costume shop say?

They only had one costume

That matched the colour

of the hairs

Found in the turd.

Oh?

Turns out they made

some custom sasquatch outfit

For some commercial.

Hey, you'll never guess

who's playing sasquatch.

Who?

Marty Mcsorley.

The fashion designer?

Get out.

The hockey player.

Really?

So I guess we just

have to find Marty.

I can't believe Mcsorley

is our prime suspect.

- Incredible.

- I know.

I mean, what are the odds?

Oh. I meant

that it's incredible

That you get, like, five boners

throughout the night.

That's a lot of boners.

Five boners?

That doesn't seem like

a lot of boners.

Check that again.

You sure that's not

five boners an hour?

I'm just saying,

that's not a lot of boners.

Trust me, not where I come from.

Where do you come from?

Prison.

Hmm.

# I never needed love

# Like I needed you

# And I never lived for nobody

# But I live for you

#Baby

# Ooh, I get chills

when I'm with you #

# Oh-Oh, whoa-Oh

# Oh, baby

# My world stands still

when I'm with you #

# When I'm with you...

hello!

Who are you?

I am the one

Who watches over what goes on.

Am I dead?

No, you just smell like it.

What should I do?

Look inside...

- my heart?

- No.

My soul?

Can I finish?

Sorry.

Look inside the kokanee truck.

It's parked by the lake.

When?

When should I look in the truck?

Later today.

Rest for now.

You look like

a bag of caribou ass.

I really appreciate your help.

I think Theo has

all the ingredients here

For a very lavish affair.

If we get beer,

and tunes, and people,

It'll be a hit.

And it's for a good cause.

You're a great friend, Adam.

Theo's very lucky to have you

look out for him.

Honestly, I kind of feel

like the party's as much for me

As it is for him.

What do you mean?

I guess I'm just

glad to be back, you know?

I miss it here.

Don't you ever struggle

with your decisions?

Adam, I do what I love,

And if I don't love it,

then I stop.

You should try it some time.

I kinda hate you.

Who's that?

No idea.

Hey, Adam.

Danielle.

How the f*** are you two?

What do you want, Mick?

I ran into someone

you may know...

By sheer f***ing coinkidink.

Adam, you know Edith.

The woman who holds your career

By its f***ing nutsack.

Oh, f***.

So, nice to see you, dear.

Mick was kind enough

to fly me out

To see some of the properties

We've been working

on at the firm.

Is that your boss?

Yes.

Edith, this is Danielle.

Hmm.

Now, Mick here

has been telling me

That you may have been

interfering in a deal

That is very important

to his father's company,

Which means

That it's very important

to our firm.

Now, we sent you out here

to shut down waxopolis,

Not save it.

Adam, what the sh*t

Is she talking about?

I'm sorry, dear,

Your girlfriend doesn't know

why you were sent out here?

I was covering

for a sick partner

At the firm, okay?

I had no idea.

Come now, come now, Adam.

You knew exactly

what you were doing.

You were trying to take

Theo's property?

I didn't know.

I swear.

I'm sorry, dear.

Adam will say anything

To try to get into

a woman's panties.

Lord knows, he tried with me.

Oh...

so, this is how it is?

Danielle...

why don't you

Go back to

wherever you're from?

But I'm from here.

No, you're not.

Not anymore.

Oh, dear, it looks like

I've upset your girlfriend.

Is there anything I can do

to console you?

You've done enough, Edith.

Mick, would you be a love

and take me back to my hotel?

I'm at the ridgeside.

Room 234.

Please stop by

And bring the copies

of the injunction request.

Looks like

your party's over, dickweed.

Literally.

F***in' finito!

Yeah, fat lady sung,

Went home, ate a burrito,

And took a sh*t all over

your f***in' party!

I get it.

You'd better f***in' get it.

You're a load

Your mom should have

swallowed, dickweed.

F*** you, Adam.

...'Cause I'd love to direct.

- Marty Mcsorley?

- Yeah?

You're under arrest

For terrorizing Marjorie brown

and Phillip Jones.

Gimme that!

What's going on?

We're taking

your star here, downtown.

You can't do that.

You'll shut down production.

So find another sasquatch.

And how are we

supposed to do that?

Oh, I don't know,

Why don't you hold

another contest?

Let's go, chuckles.

Wait a minute,

We'll be missing the big party.

We got to get him

to the station.

Can't we just

Check it out

for a couple hours,

And then book him?

He'll probably enjoy it.

You cool if we

stop at the party?

Can I at least

call my attorney?

Again?

If he likes to party, sure.

Let's go.

Another one?

Yeah.

Yeah, thanks.

I don't mean to ask

A clich bartender question,

But why the long face?

I got a lot going on.

I've really

let down some friends.

Sorry to hear that, brother.

Thanks.

Do you ever think about,

I don't know,

Maybe killing yourself?

What?

No. Why?

I'm just saying,

If things are that bad,

Why not?

I mean, you look like sh*t,

to be honest.

If it was me,

I'd probably just

get it over with.

Oh.

Reverse psychology.

A little bartender wisdom.

No.

Oh.

Seriously.

Just go in the washroom.

No one's around.

I'll come get the gun

after I hear the shot.

It'll confuse the hell

Out of the cops.

Okay, things aren't that bad.

I'm not going to kill myself.

Have you looked

in a f***ing mirror?

I mean, come on.

Just do it.

I'll go lay down

some plastic sheets

In the far stall.

Yeah, that's very funny.

I am not going to

kill myself, okay?

Why not?

It's the gun.

Is that it?

It's too messy?

No, I've got a lot to live for.

Like what?

A wife? Kids?

I'm guessing not.

I have great friends.

If they're so great,

why are you here alone?

Look,

Not long ago,

a friend of mine died.

From what I understand,

he's never been happier.

I think I'm going to take off.

You...

uh...

thanks for the talk.

See ya later.

Chickens hit.

Yeah.

That's it?

Where's the rest of the beer?

Look here, pimp sauce.

You don't know what,

Or rather who, I had to do

to get this beer,

So just shut your...

you think people

Are going to stick

around for this?

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