The Mule Page #2

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- A bit dumb, aren't you?

Might have to knock some sense into you.

- I could pay for it.

- Yeah, f***in' oath you'll pay for it.

What's going on?

Oh, this d*ckhead thinks it's OK

to steal other people's beers.

If someone does you wrong,

you knock 'em the f*** out.

My party, my rules.

Or don't you have the balls?

Ray?

You know this prick?

Yes, yes, I do.

Have you two met?

Tiffany, Raymond.

- What you doing?

- Taking my lunch break.

Dog sh*t, you are. Finish table.

Sit down. I said sit down.

I quit.

Quit? OK, quit. Good luck finding job.

We're the only repair shop in 20 miles.

OK, OK, take lunch.

Take 30 minutes!

Take 35!

F*** me, Rhonda! Don't you knock?

I'm in.

And why would you knock?

Mi casa, su casa.

Bring on God's country!

- Yeah!

- Yeah!

Dennis Lillee's a great man.

So are you, love.

Who's ready for a boat race?

One, two, three!

Faster! Do it!

Yeah! Scull, scull, scull, scull!

- Yeah!

- Come on!

Yeah!

Ray! Ray! Ray! Ray! Ray! Ray! Ray! Ray!

Drinks, they're on me!

He's my brother!

Sorry.

Hey!

You'd better wait out here.

You sunburn like last time. Not learn.

Too skinny. Eat.

Any mushrooms in this? I'm allergic.

Eat!

Here your half-kilo.

Things have changed.

I need a whole kilo.

You got more, you get more.

Oi! Nuang kilo!

OK. Good to see you.

Tell Pat thank you to look

after my nephew, Phuk.

And please enjoy Bangkok. Heaven awaits.

Gav. Gav, Gav, Gav, I can't do it.

- What?

- This, I don't want to do this.

- It's too late, pal.

- We only just got it. Please.

What do you want me to do?

Go back in there with

that f***in' experiment

and ask for our money back?

I don't know.

I'm sorry. I thought I could

do this, but I can't. I'm sorry.

- Please.

- Alright.

- Please!

- Alright.

Wish me luck.

Good luck.

Ray.

Brothers.

Let's get out of here!

What did Sonia say?

No go. She nearly ripped my head off.

Come on!

Ray! Let's go!

Watch your skin peel

Watch the sky change

In a vision

I'll get what's inside of you

The way that I feel tonight

And into the void

Again the empty street

Again I am destroyed

You can't eat anything

between now and delivery,

but don't refuse your meal on the plane.

The stewardesses will flag

you as suspicious, alright?

And when we get home,

you've gotta ditch your mum.

I don't care how you do it,

but you've gotta be at

my joint by six, OK?

You'll need a few

things for the airport.

Cotton shirt. Breathes.

Hides your sweat.

Photos, souvenirs.

Looks like you gave a sh*t.

Codeine... two of these bad

boys will block you up for a week.

Down the hatch.

Good.

- Now finish 'em.

- Where are yours?

I've had mine.

But you said we'd do it together.

You heard wrong.

- No, you said.

- You heard wrong.

Thai Airways TT419 Bangkok to Melbourne

now arriving at Gate 18.

Be quick!

First trip overseas?

- Boys...

- Jenkins, where's your bag?

My sister's picking us up.

She's got two spare seats.

Brian and Sandra Ferguson,

please report to Gate 12.

Your plane is ready for

immediate departure.

Hey, Jenko, you're up.

Declaring anything today?

Just some smokes and, this.

- Where are your other bags?

- I don't have any.

- No clothes, no toiletries.

- It all got stolen.

Just wait here for me, please.

Jenkins, just come back from Thailand.

All he's got is a snow dome.

That's fine.

- Ray. It's Ray's.

- Welcome home.

- Oh, I can see him!

- Ray!

- Thank you!

- Ray!

- Look, there he is!

- Oi, Jenkins!

I'm not your bloody servant!

Ray! Ray! Ray?

- Excuse me, sir.

- You forgot your bag, d*ckhead!

Excuse me, sir.

Whose bag is that?

- Looks clear.

- Right.

- What's this?

- Lunch.

- From the plane?

- Yeah.

- Taking it home, were we?

- I wanted to show Mum.

Bend over.

Bend over, mate.

Now, hold still.

Where the f*** are you, Ray?

Mr Jenkins, my name

is Detective Les Paris.

This is Detective Tom Croft.

We're with the Australian

Federal Police.

The importation of narcotics

is a federal of fence.

Therefore Detective Croft will need

to perform a digital examination,

or if you prefer, we could

X-ray your stomach instead.

Be aware that a refusal may

appear as an admission of guilt.

Will you avail yourself

to either procedure?

No.

Alright, then.

You leave us with no option but

to accompany you to a hospital

for observation by a

registered medical officer.

We don't need your permission for that.

We're unable to confirm what's in there.

If it is narcotics,

he's a human time bomb.

Surely you can whack something

up there, take a look-see.

Not without his permission.

He'll expel whatever it is soon enough.

- All you can do is wait.

- F*** that.

I'm not sitting in there all night

waiting for this c*nt to take a dump.

There's this hotel I

use in Airport West.

Airport West?

No doubt it's the bloody Hilton.

I'm obliged to inform you

that you're being detained under

suspicion and without charge.

You don't have to say anything

and are entitled to the presence

of a legal representative.

Now, whilst in detention without charge,

you are legally entitled to

a similar standard of living

that you're accustomed to at home.

I.e., if you usually have a glass

of wine with dinner at home,

you're entitled to a glass

of wine with dinner here.

You, drink a bit of

f***ing Riesling, do you?

The law permits us to

detain you for seven days,

or until you empty your bowels twice.

Until then, you'll remain in this

room under constant supervision.

The sooner you go to the toilet,

the sooner we all go home.

F***!

Ray?

No, it's me.

Oh, mate.

I was just on my way over.

Missed you at the airport.

Really?

Sent a car. It was under your name.

- I didn't see it.

- No worries.

I'll send the car over now.

No. Don't.

I no know his address!

I'm on my way out the door, mate.

Just hold on a second, will you, mate?

Here's the address.

John. He's your stepfather

and coach, yeah?

And was it his idea to go to Thailand?

Don't know.

Ray, whatever's in your stomach,

if it's narcotics,

you could be in a lot of trouble.

Especially if you don't get it out.

I told you at the airport,

I'm constipated.

Then why won't you take a laxative?

I'm... allergic.

Ray, I'm not interested in

putting away good blokes

who have made one bad decision.

I want the real bastards.

Everybody works for somebody.

Yes!

Sh*t!

Got you, you f*ggot sh*t!

I kill you!

You're a dead man!

When you want to have a tinkle,

you let Constable Rowland know.

If you decide to sh*t,

you let Constable Rowland know.

If you snore, you let

Constable Rowland know,

'cause he's your new roommate.

He'll be here all night.

Goodnight.

Don't let the bed drugs bite.

- Anything to report?

- Nothing yet.

Ray, why didn't you go to the toilet?

Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey!

Wrap your laughing gear around this.

I'm not hungry.

Why don't you get a couple

of hours kip next door?

Come on, quick sticks. It'll get cold.

I need to do a wee.

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