The Mule Page #4

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Will Walla be there?'

He said, 'Yeah,

and Vege might come too. '

So I said to my wife,

'Do you want a go, Anna?'

You forget something, mate?

She said, 'I'll go if Ding goes. '

Don't! I don't have the gear!

Ray's got it... Argh! Ray's got it...

I don't have it.

I don't like to speak ill of Warra.

All that planning, all that conniving

foiled by a few champignon mushrooms.

Come here!

Did you honestly believe

I wouldn't find out?

You really didn't think this

through, did you, mate?

Please don't kill me, Pat! Argh!

Don't kill me.

I'm not gonna kill you,

son, 'cause you, Gav,

are gonna kill your mate

before he sings to the pigs.

And my wop here is gonna

make sure you do.

How am I supposed to get him?

He's surrounded by cops.

I said, 'You're joking, mate, a cop?

I'm going. Let's go, Anna. '

I can't, Pat. I can't.

It's you, or the mule.

Rest a-f***in'-ssured.

Do you think we could

have a moment alone?

What, you and me?

F***in' oath.

Alas, no. Dr Zaki and I.

He needs to empty his

bowels immediately, Jas.

He's in grave danger.

Can you administer

something for his pain?

Not without Ray's consent.

- What about a headache tablet?

- No.

That's codeine. It'll constipate him.

Why didn't you pick up the phone?

I had to get a lift home with Alison,

hear all about Charlie's

bloody plantar wart.

Why are you sitting in the dark?

Shut up!

Where's the car?

- Where's my car?

- They took it.

Who took it? Who took it?!

Your mate Pat Shepherd f***in' took it.

What? Why would he do that?

What's wrong with his car?

- Nothing wrong with his car.

- Then why would he take ours?

John...

you been gambling again?

Why would he take our car?

John, answer me...

why would he take our car?

Because I paid for the drugs inside Ray!

What?

We went behind Shepherd's back.

Right, he found out and he came over,

he came over and he took

the car, just like that.

You're pissed. You are pissed.

All Ray had to do was wait for

his luggage, the dopey f***in' prick!

- You are a liar!

- He did! Agreed to swallow.

- He wouldn't do it! Get out!

- Yeah? Yeah?

- Have a go! Get out!

- F***in' calm down!

- F***in' calm... calm down!

- Get out! Get out!

Get out! Don't come back!

Darl, it's a disease, you know.

I'm sorry.

Darl, I'll fix it, alright?

You'll see. Stay there.

I'll fix it.

Ray...

Shepherd! I know you're in there!

I want my f***in' car back!

I want my car back or

I'm going to the cops!

I'll shut you down, your whole business!

Shut up!

Do you hear me?

Yes, John.

Loud and clear.

I want my car back, Pat.

This is no way to go about it.

You're making a spectacle of yourself.

Mate, Jude's gonna leave me.

Alright. I'll get the keys.

Just keep the noise down.

- Bloody hell. You're a mess.

- Yeah, I know.

I'm really sorry, Pat.

I'm sorry, mate.

You bloody went out with her... Jude.

Bloody hell, you know what she's like.

Oh, f***.

Oh, thanks, mate.

For f***'s sake! Pat!

It was Gav!

F***in' Gav's idea...

What the f***, Pat!

Call yourself a coach.

What, no Buddha stick?

Bit of hash? Bit of coke?

Mum like a taste, does she?

Hello, Mrs Jenkins.

Oh, you poor thing.

Hey, Victor phoned.

He's offered your old job back.

He said he's never been busier.

Yeah.

I made you some lunch.

I thought you might be getting

sick of eating all the hotel food.

Yeah.

It's your favourite...

crumbed lamb cutlets.

I just ate, Mum. Thanks.

No, you didn't.

Not to worry, this is

prime Australian lamb.

Hey?

- Really, I can't.

- Oh, you can and you will.

You will eat your meal like a good boy,

and you'll make your old mum proud.

You should listen to your mother, Ray.

- Mum...

- It's your favourite.

Please don't...

I cooked it especially for

you and you're gonna eat it.

Eat it now.

What the hell are

you doing, Mum? Please!

OK, OK, OK, Mrs Jenkins.

It's alright. OK.

OK. Alright.

Who wants cutlets for lunch?

- Use the one next door!

- Doesn't flush!

- Piss off down to the lobby!

- I'm not gonna make it.

Oh, f***.

Steak diane with scalloped potatoes.

Those cutlets your mum made have

got the boys glued to the loo.

And she doesn't know

you're allergic to laxatives.

What a mum.

You can win. You will win. You do win.

We did win.

Hi. I'm personal life coach

Professor Dylan Kanarakis...

Unfortunately, Ray,

a magistrate has granted the

police a three-day extension.

I don't know how.

But they're now permitted to detain you

for up to and including ten days.

I've gone to the toilet.

I've gone to the toilet.

Hey? Yep.

Jesus Christ.

That stinks.

Well, well, well, the d*ckhead's

finally lost his guts.

Oh, f...

Aargh!

No packets.

Search this whole f***in' joint.

Well, Ray, we might have

to let you go after all.

All we need to do is get

you to an X-ray machine.

No, I won.

The proof is in here.

Listen to me, fuckwit,

you haven't won anything.

Jesus H, he's eaten them.

Clean yourself up, you filthy animal.

We've got you for three

more days, sh*t-breath.

Three f***in' days.

Australia, what's your favourite sport?

Football.

- Snack?

- Pies.

- Animal?

- Kangaroo.

- What's your favourite car?

- Holden.

That's football, meat pies,

kangaroos and Holden cars.

Right.

You sure sound like Australia to me!

We are!

Jesus! 20 pages of bullshit

about a yacht race.

Not one word about you.

I handed it to them

on a f***ing platter.

It was the perfect case study...

I've got 20 condoms of

heroin in my stomach.

I know.

All they care about is

a bunch of rich pricks

playing 'Who's got the biggest dick?'

Those arseholes haven't

heard the last of Jasmine...

I've got 20 condoms of

heroin in my stomach.

Keep your voice down, Ray.

I've got 20 condoms of

someone's f***ing heroin

in my f***ing stomach.

You need to hold on.

Just a little bit longer.

I'm not gonna let that

arrogant prick beat us.

We can win this together.

What are you talking about?

Just hold on.

A shiv? Not sure this is a good idea.

Mate, there's cops everywhere.

They're all over him.

What the f*** am I supposed to do?

- Aaah!

- Not my problem. Your problem.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Alright, alright!

Let go, let go!

I'll be watching.

What is your marital status?

Can I help you, sir?

This area's currently

under the jurisdiction

of the Australian Federal Police.

I'm here to see Ray Jenkins.

And who are you?

I'm the captain of his footy team.

The captain?

- Who told you he was here?

- Our coach.

Well, unfortunately, he's in

police custody at the moment,

so he's not receiving any visitors.

Mate, I've walked all

the way from Sunshine.

I'll only be five minutes. Promise.

Alright. Why not? Arms up.

- Your captain's here.

- Gav.

Jesus.

No, mate, I'm the only one here.

The boys are home with diarrhoea.

Where are they?

Bullshit.

What have you told 'em?

Look at me. I haven't told 'em anything.

Why the f*** not?

We're brothers.

Right?

How did we f*** this up?

Told you I wouldn't be any good at it.

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