The Muppet Movie Page #4

Where are ya goin'?

Hey! Wait for me!

I wanna go to Hollywood!

Hey! Wait for me!

Come on, guys!

Wait, please!

I wanna go to Hollywood!

Testing, one, two, three.

Testing. Can you hear me?

It's time to announce the winner of

this year's Bogen County Beauty Pageant.

- We sure grow 'em pretty around here.

- What's that?

All right, here they are.

- The first runner-up...

- What's over there?

-is Debbie Sue Anderson.

- See?

Nice-looking girls, huh?

- Wow! Nice-looking chickens.

- What?

- No hard feelings, honey.

- Before announcing the winner...

I think we should thank

the judges of today's contest...

Edgar Bergen

and Charlie McCarthy.

You're not gonna believe

who the winner is, folks.

- Come now, Charlie. It's their movie.

- So 'tis.

And here she is, folks,

this year's Miss Bogen County...

Miss Piggy!

Thank you.

Wow! It's a pig!

Did you see that?

Thank you, everyone.

Thank you.

Oh, Debbie Sue.

Oh, Ama Jane.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Kissy-kissy.

Kissy-kissy.

Thank you.

- Kermit, you know--

- Not right now, Fozzie.

I just want to say one thing.

This is the happiest

moment of my--

Never before

Have two souls joined so freely

And so fast

For me this is the first time

and the last

Is this an angel's wish

For men

Never before

And never again

And where to find the words

to sing its worth

This love was bound for Heaven

Not for Earth

This love was meant

To light the stars

But when we touched

We made it ours

And could they take it back

Oh, no, they wouldn't dare

Why should they take it back

When there's enough

To share with all the world

And fill the heavens above

With leftover love

Never before

A love that keeps on growing

On and on

To fill each lover's heart

And light the dawn

Is this an angel's wish

For men

Never before

And never again

Never before

And never again

Excuse me.

- Yes. Of course.

- Listen.

Congratulations on winning

the beauty contest.

Thank you. Of course, normally,

I don't do anything so trivial.

- I am an actress/model.

- Oh, is that right? Well, um--

I'm gonna be a performer too.

Hey, Kermit,

who's the cute-lookin' pig?

I beg your pardon.

If you were a chicken,

you'd be impeccable.

Hey, I thought we were

gonna go get some ice cream.

In a minute.

I'll join you.

Well, what are you doing in town...

short, green and handsome?

- Well, we're headed west.

- Really?

Yeah, but I should join

my friends for ice cream.

You want to come along?

Me? You mean it?

I'll be right back.

Don't move!

Hello, I'd like an ice cream.

Hello, I'd like an ice cream.

What do you want?

Chocolate, vanilla, coffee, peach fudge?

- Rum banana?

- Honey.

Honey? I beg your pardon.

I hardly know ya.

But seriously, I'd like

a honey ice-cream cone for me...

and a dragonfly ripple

for my friend, the frog.

Okay, one honey cone

for the bear.

- One dragonfly ripple for the frog.

- Yucky.

- Don't get 'em mixed up.

- Gotcha.

All right, Camilla,

I'll get you a balloon.

But you have to pick the color.

Red or green?

- Can I give you a word of advice?

- What?

Why not take both?

What a wild idea!

Yeah, a beautiful chicken

like that deserves two balloons.

You're right.

I have guys in all the time.

Sometimes they get a bunch

of balloons for their girls.

- They go gaga for it.

- Gaga? I'll take the whole bunch.

I wonder where they went?

- Where's your pig friend?

- I'm not really sure.

She said she was coming

for ice cream, but--

Yoo-hoo! Yoo-hoo!

Here I am!

Here I am! I'm packed!

I'm packed!

- Yeah, so I see. What for?

- You said I could come with you.

Yeah, but, to buy ice cream,

not to Hollywood.

- We're going to Hollywood!

- No! I mean, listen.

When I said--

Well, when you heard--

Oh, brother.

What?

- What are you doing?

- About seven knots.

- We'll follow you. To the car!

- Yes, sir!

Gonzo, we're coming!

- Step on it, Fozzie.

- Yes, sir.

- Kermit, you're a born leader.

- Where is he?

Isn't this great?

Here I am, floating in space.

This is the place to be.

Whoopee!

- Fozzie, bear left.

- What?

- Bear left.

- Right, frog.

- What? That's cute.

- Never mind.

This is--

Look at our little car down there.

This is like flying.

Maybe this is flying.

I'm flying! Whoopee!

Doc, isn't that a frog up there?

No, that's a frog down here.

He's caught in a crosswind, Fozzie.

We're gonna lose him.

Oh, no!

- What are you doin', Doc?

- I'm goin' after their tires.

We're okay now. The wind shifted.

Wait a minute.

Stay with him, Fozzie.

He's right above us.

- He's okay.

- Yeah. Hi, Gonzo!

- Fozzie, come back in here!

- What? Yes, sir.

- Watch down the road!

- Kermit!

Look out for the billboard!

- Take off, Fozzie!

- Yes, sir!

Come back, you!

No frog's gonna make

a monkey outta me!

- I'm back.

- I don't understand any of this.

I just gotta

catch up with those guys!

Kermit. You were so courageous,

so magnificent.

Gee, I don't know what to say.

Say the bear was magnificent.

After all, I did the driving.

And I took a 1 00-foot belly flop

onto a moving car.

Yes, but, Kermit assumed

the awesome responsibility...

of command.

- Gee.

- Oh, brother.

Why don't we stop

somewhere for the night...

and have a quiet,

little dinner for two?

Terrific!

I'll eat with you, Miss Piggy.

Not you, buzzard beak!

just mon capitaine...

and moi.

Well,

that might be nice.

Wow.

Good evening, Miss Piggy.

You look lovely tonight.

Thank you.

I'm so sorry

if I kept you waiting.

It was worth it.

How charming of vous.

I took the liberty

of ordering us some wine.

Oh, waiter.

Yes?

May I help you?

The wine, please.

You mad, impetuous fink.

It's champagne.

Not exactly.

Sparkling muscatel.

One of the finest wines of Idaho.

- You may serve us now, please.

- May I?

- Look how he does that.

- Yeah. Pretty suave.

Don't you want to smell

the bottle cap?

- Smells good.

- Yeah.

Would you like

to taste it first?

Well--

- I think he's supposed to.

- Would you taste it for us, please?

Excellent choice.

Should be for 95 cents.

- And may we have straws, please?

- Yes.

I expected that.

Thank you.

That'll be all for now.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Thank you!

Here's to you, Miss Piggy.

Drink up.

Makes me giggly.

The wine?

Everything.

It's a beautiful evening,

isn't it?

Uh-huh.

And the moon

is just lovely.

But you know, Miss Piggy...

the moon doesn't look like you.

Miss Piggy! Miss Piggy!

- Are you Miss Piggy?

- Yes?

Telephone.

I did place one phone call

to my agent.

It'll only be

an eensy-teensy moment.

What the hey.

Evenin'.

Rowlf. Rowlf the Dog.

Sit yourself down.

- Kermit. Kermit the Frog.

- Pleased to meet ya.

I'm no Heifetz,

but I get by.

That was--

That was very nice.

Whoa, hey,

broken heart, right?

Does it show?

Listen, when you've been ticklin'

the ivories as long as I have...

you've seen a broken heart

for every drop of rain.

A shattered dream

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