The Naked Gun 2 and a Half: The Smell of Fear Page #4

Year:
1991
615 Views


as suspicious as some people I know.

Ask him what his connection is with the

van you saw the night of the explosion.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Ask him if he's pals with

a two-bit goon named Hector Savage.

Stop it! You're just jealous

because another man can give me

the understanding that you never could.

I just hope Quentin is watching

right now, because he'll be jealous.

And a jealous man

always makes the wrong move.

I'm counting on that!

Mr. Drebin, Mr. Hapsburg

would like you to join him at his table.

- Solitaire is a lonely man's game.

- Lieutenant!

I don't recall seeing your name

on the guest list.

Nothing to be embarrassed about.

I sometimes go by my maiden name.

Nice party.

I see a lot of familiar face-lifts.

- Do you gamble, Lieutenant?

- Every time I order out.

Que sera, sera...

- You do speak French, don't you?

- Unfortunately, no.

But I do kiss that way.

Excuse me!

You happen to be standing in my place.

Dr. Meinheimer, you remember Frank?

- Uh... Mister...

- Drebin, from Police Squad.

- You met him at the Institute.

- Yes, of course! Do sit down.

Thank you, I don't intend to stay.

Let's play another game. Who's this?

- I wouldn't know.

- He's been a bad boy.

He blew up a building and

is driving a van registered in your name.

We own lots of vans.

One of them was stolen three days ago.

Look, Lieutenant, I have nothing to hide.

Maybe, but I'm warning you.

If you so much as sneeze,

I'll be there to wipe your nose.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for

the first door prize of the evening:

an all-expense-paid trip

to the Gilligan Islands.

And to draw the first winner,

we would like to ask our guest of honor:

Dr. Albert S. Meinheimer.

- Let me help you.

- That won't be necessary.

I don't understand

what's gotten into Frank.

I'm afraid it's merely

a case of jealousy, my dear.

You're going to wear all my gears down.

We shouldn't push it like this.

- He gets around marvelously.

- He does.

- Frank?

- Jane.

I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry

about what happened tonight.

- Oh, Frank.

- I need to talk to you. May I come in?

OK, but the place is kind of a mess.

I was about to make a protein shake.

Do you want some?

No, thank you.

Are you sure?

I'm trying out a new recipe tonight.

Do you know what Dr. Meinheimer

will say at the dinner tomorrow?

Yes, he'll endorse energy efficiency

and renewable energy like solar power.

- Who else knew that?

- Only me. And I told Quentin.

And if the President adopts a policy of

supporting efficiency and solar energy,

who would be the biggest losers?

Coal, oil and nuclear.

- Frank! Frank!

- Just one more question.

You told me that Dr. Meinheimer

had a photographic memory,

yet tonight

he never recalled meeting me.

That's strange, but he has been

under a lot of stress lately.

Does he have any identifying marks?

A scar, a mole, a tattoo,

webbed toes or a third nostril?

He has a birthmark in the shape of

Whistler's Mother on his right buttock.

I see... Have you noticed

anything different about him?

Only that he is a foot taller

and seems to be left-handed now.

Frank! What are you trying to tell me?

That Quentin has found

a double for Dr. Meinheimer

and that he will give

a fraudulent report to the President?

That's brilliant. That's a lot better

than what I had come up with.

Stop it, this is preposterous!

Is there no end to your jealousy?

Jane, you're hurting me.

- What more do you want from me?

- Can I use your phone?

- Local call?

- Yes.

If you'll excuse me,

I have to take my shower.

The phone is in the other room.

You can let yourself out. Goodbye.

Give me Captain Ed Hocken, please.

Ed, I'm onto something big.

I'll need you and Nordberg tomorrow.

What is he doing in Detroit?

Send him the plane fare

and a new pair of pants.

Of the way we were

Memories

Like the colors of my mind

Misty water-colored memories

Of the way we were

Scattered pictures

Of the smiles we left behind

Smiles we gave to one another

Of the way we were

Can it be that it was all so simple then

Or has time rewritten...

Frank!

Just as I suspected.

Come on, on your feet.

Jane...

What happened to the water pressure?

Jane!

Frank!

I was so frightened!

- What happened out there?

- It's nothing to worry about.

But if I were you, I wouldn't leave

until they shampoo the carpets.

- Who would want to kill you?

- Before tonight, only the cable company.

Now I'm afraid it's one of

Hapsburg's goons. He was carrying this.

Oh, Frank! I feel like such a fool.

- I should never have doubted you.

- There, there...

You couldn't know that the man you

were dating was a murdering sociopath.

Oh, Frank!

We have to help Dr. Meinheimer.

- He's in danger.

- Yes.

They'll probably torture him,

then kill him.

It's all my fault!

They'll start by tearing out his toenails

and then move on to the nosehairs.

Oh, no! What are we going to do?

If my hunch is right,

they're holding him hostage here.

- At the Home Club?

- What? No!

At this warehouse.

I've got to get going to rescue him.

- You'll be careful?

- Of course I will.

I will...

I guess I'd better be on my way.

I promised Nordberg

we'd bake a raisin nutbread tonight.

I can't fight it any more!

I ran away from you once. I can't do it

again. Will you stay with me? Please?

Frank, we've got

no business doing this.

We've only got a dock pass

and your hunch.

Hapsburg is up to something right up

to his pretty, imported shirt collar.

It's a perfect day. This fog'll keep us

concealed to Hapsburg's warehouse.

That's not fog. The number two

engine's on fire. They're putting it out.

Let's run through this one more time.

At 3:
15, Nordberg will cut

the power lines, knocking out the alarms.

Yeah. Right.

- Nordberg.

- Got it.

I'll be in the van waiting for your signal.

Are you wired-up?

Yeah. Right.

When you hear me say,

"I love it", you guys move in.

- Check.

- Ready, Frank?

The water's over there.

Hexagon oil commercial

number one.

Piloting today's giant oil tankers

is a big responsibility.

That's why here at Hexagon's

Tanker Captain Training School,

future captains go through

a rigorous instruction programme.

Through a complicated

elimination process,

we weed out those less qualified

for the day-to-day operation

of a 500,000-tonne

single hull super tanker.

Only the best will take command

of what is essentially

a floating ecological time bomb.

Commercial two.

Just the way I like it!

Some day, way into the future,

the sun may be able to

provide for all our energy needs.

But right now,

it gives us a comfortable feeling

to know that our home

is being supplied by nuclear power.

I know what you're thinking,

but we're not worried.

We know that nuclear energy is safe.

In fact, we think of it as

our friendly neighbor.

But remember, our friend can't exist

without huge government subsidies.

So tell your congressman

to keep those government dollars

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Jerry Zucker

Jerry G. Zucker (born March 11, 1950) is an American film producer, director, and writer known for his role in directing comedy spoof films such as Airplane! and Top Secret!, and the Best Picture-nominated supernatural drama film Ghost.Jerry Zucker and his older brother, David Zucker, collaborated on several films. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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