The Nanny Diaries Page #7

Hi, y'all.

I'm Jefferson's

mama Tanya.

Come on in.

We're baking a cake.

Oh my God.

Come on, y'all!

I pretend to be

Jefferson's nanny.

But I was really hired

to watch her.

Yoo-hooo!

And this is what she's

like after Betty Ford.

- Oh!

- Doesn't her husband care?

- Whoo!

- He's 75. She's an ex-showgirl.

He's not complaining

about anything.

Frosting fun!

Yay!

I want to come here every day.

Hey.

What are you doing here?

And what is all over you?

Annie, will you tell me

what the hell is going on?

All right, listen up, people.

This is my apartment.

And my roommate Lisa

is away

on... on business.

You are... oh,

just visiting.

- He is...

- Lynette's new boyfriend.

- Fine.

- I love your friends.

What twisted game

are we playing here?

We're playing the

my-mom-is-coming-over-

and-if-she-finds-out-I'm-a-nanny-

then-I'm-screwed game.

I love it. Hey, should I whip up

a fondue for Mom?

Um, well, you know what?

If you're gonna play it straight,

I would make it meatloaf.

I'm gonna borrow this.

That's my dress.

You can't borrow that dress.

It's a terrible dress.

Fondue?

Go get my dress.

Oh boy, Calvin.

Thank you so much. That looks delicious.

It's so festively

presented too.

So, how did you

and Lynette meet?

Annie's roommate Lisa

introduced us.

It's a shame

she's not here.

I used to

date her too.

Really?

So...

don't you just love

Annie's new place?

- Mm-hm.

- We do.

We're here all the time.

Yeah, I think it's very...

very interesting.

- It's a little small, but...

- Mmm.

...it's a fine

steppingstone, honey.

It's work.

I'll take that.

Well, certainly

keeping her busy.

- Very busy.

- Mm-hm.

- Busy bee.

- Relentlessly.

- Round the clock.

- Hello?

This isn't a brontosaurus.

You don't know anything.

Oh, Grayer!

Please!

It is yoga hour

and Mommy's on the phone.

Hello?

Yes, hi.

It's me.

l... I know that I agreed

to let you

visit your grandmother in

the hospital tonight,

but I feel I need to remind you

that tomorrow is Grayer's birthday.

What? How can that be?

His party isn't until next month.

Well, we scheduled it

that way on purpose

because the party planner

I wanted wasn't available.

Neither was my husband.

But as it turns out,

Mr. X is coming home

for two days from Chicago,

so we're planning a small

family celebration.

Oh that's lovely.

Grayer couldn't ask for a better gift.

And then afterwards,

we'll all head over to the Carlyle

for a more formal

affair with friends.

Obviously, I do expect

you to attend.

Okay, all right.

So you will need to dress

appropriately.

- Right.

- Anyway...

since you are not

around to help,

- I've taken care of everything.

- Mommy, play!

Thank you.

Also, some roses

arrived for you.

- Roses?

- Yes, very curious.

The card says,

"Accept my apology,

or else."

Oh, that's crazy Grandpa.

He...

he didn't visit

Grandma last night

and we just

let him have it.

Well, you know how Grayer

is around pollen.

So, I'll have to

throw them out.

Annie?

- Oh, okay.

Well, you know,

I am going to...

hang up because

the pacemaker isn't on.

So I'll see you

in the morning.

Oh gosh.

- Honey?

- Yeah?

- Are you okay?

- Mm-hm.

Perfect.

Dessert?

This is of vital importance,

are you aware of that?

I don't think right now

is the time.

You have absolutely no idea

how disappointed I am.

Clowns are supposed to be funny.

Well, they're

French clowns, Grove.

I hate them and

I hate my birthday.

...in order to clean up your mess!

Do not interrupt me.

Now you told me

that the extra year of preschool

would guarantee him

a spot.

Today he's six.

What's your plan now?

I'll be back, okay?

We should try to be calm.

My brother's kids got in.

...that isn't enough of a humiliation.

I will not tolerate

- at this point...

- There are mimes in the next room.

- I suggest you keep your voice down.

- You know what?

Hey.

What the hell

are you doing here?

I want to know why

you threw my flowers away.

I found them

in the stairwell.

I didn't throw them away, okay?

My lunatic employer did.

And if you don't get out of here right

now, she's gonna throw me out too.

- Okay?

- Not until you agree to see me.

What?

This has got to stop.

Come on, one date.

That's all I'm asking here.

Oh, fine fine, okay?

After work on Thursday. Go go.

Nanny.

Before we head over

to the Carlyle,

I would like you to know

why Mr. X is so upset.

It seems that Grayer was

rejected for admission to Collegiate.

Um...

I'm very sorry.

- That must be upsetting.

- Not upsetting.

Unacceptable.

Stop it!

Get away from me!

- Oh, sweetheart.

Don't be afraid.

They're only clowns.

- I hate them.

- They're nice French clowns.

They scare me!

Grayer, go to your mommy.

- Huh-uh.

- Go to your mommy, Grayer.

- Go.

- No.

Go on, sweetheart.

As I was saying, Nanny,

we feel that you are not

spending enough time

on educational activities

with our son.

Therefore we have decided

to hire a consultant

to fully research

the situation.

He will demand extra

time from you this week...

Whatever's best for Grayer.

...starting Thursday evening.

Do you read to the child

from "The Wall Street Journal"?

"Financial Times"?

"Granta"?

l... I sing to him

in French.

Well, we need more time

than I thought

to get to

the bottom of this.

I know.

I know, I'm very very late.

I'm sorry.

Did you get my message?

- Yep. All six of 'em.

- I couldn't get out of work.

The consultant kept me forever.

It was horrible.

Yeah, well, not only

did I lose the reservation,

but the kitchen

is now closed. So...

Okay.

I'm sorry I was late.

Um... sometimes

these things just...

don't work out, okay?

Wait, whoa whoa whoa

whoa whoa whoa whoa.

Think you can just get

rid of me that easily?

No, it's not about

getting rid of you.

It's just that no place around here

stays open this late. That's all.

Actually, I know

the perfect place.

Pretty good, huh?

Number one slice

on the Upper East Side.

It's not bad.

I'll tell you what though...

it doesn't touch the Jersey Shore.

Well, if you're such

a pizza connoisseur,

there's a really great

place in Italian Harlem.

I'll take you there

sometime.

Harlem?

I have a hard time

imagining you in Harlem.

Why? I enjoy

exploring my city.

Something you should

probably do more of.

Oh, thank you.

I'll try to squeeze that in between

cleaning up Grayer's vomit

and picking up

Mrs. X's laundry.

Come on, if your job is that bad,

why don't you just quit?

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