The Night We Never Met Page #5

the, uh, ballet

with my, uh, fianc.

Fianc? Fian...

Fianc?!

How could you?

It wasn't my idea.

Her folks got us

season tickets...

Every wednesday.

Aren't you here wednesdays?

No. That's why I had to switch

my nights with, uh...

Uh...

Sam?

Oh...

Oh...

Oh, my God.

What?

Oh, my God.

What?

I slept with the wrong guy.

Oh, my God.

The one time in my life I cheat,

and I screw it up,

and I sleep with the wrong guy.

And you...

How could you?!

It's... you know,

one last fling.

A condemned man is entitled

to one last hearty breakfast.

Oh, shut up!

What?

What did I say?

I mean, how could you sleep

with me?!

Yeah, but that's because I

thought you were someone else.

Boy...

Way to make a guy feel wanted.

I mean, you don't

even know me.

Well, at least I know

who you were.

You're the babe who cooks

all that great food.

No, that is Sam, you idiot!

You're the one with

the ugly furniture!

No, baby,

You got it all wrong.

This is my furniture.

His is the ugly stuff.

Oh, my God.

What? What?

What?

Aaron.

Chicks.

Yeah?

Can... can you take

me to Elmhurst?

No, no, I don't know where it is.

It's in queens.

No, no, madam, that's very far.

Please.

Come on, no... please.

I need to go to Queens.

Uh, but...

Come on, lady.

Ple... Hello? Hello?

Please don't cry. I... I said

I'll take you to Queens.

I need to go to Queens.

We'll go to Queens.

Here. Here.

See? We go to Queens.

I slept with the wrong guy.

Don't be so hard on him, lady.

Give him a chance.

How could I be so stupid to

sleep with the wrong guy?!

Oh, don't worry.

You'll find the right guy.

You'll find a better guy.

I have a better guy!

Then what's the problem?

Well, what am I gonna tell

my husband?

Oh.

Don't tell him.

Don't tell him anything.

If he doesn't know,

he'll take you back.

But I don't want him to take me back.

But then what do you want?

I want Sam!

Now, who is Sam?

I don't know!

Oh!

Oh, there's something...

and what do you...

Madam, this is a taxi, madam,

not a bedroom.

I got to get...

Oh.

Calm down.

Calm...

Here. Here, blow your...

I didn't mean to do it.

Calm.

Everything will be fine.

Oh, sh*t.

The game was great.

Watched it twice...

with the guys.

Yeah...

Good night.

Brian?

Oh, Brian.

Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian.

What have you been doing?

I was out with Lucy.

Uh, you know, I was, uh...

No, I wasn't.

I was out.

Yeah, I know.

I'm sorry.

What are you sorry about?

Nothing happened to be sorry

about, right?

No, something happened.

Just like that.

Just like that.

You're buying houses...

without telling me, Aaron.

You know, you're naming children.

And...

It's not my fault.

I'm not screwing around.

Don't blame me 'cause

you're having an affair.

I don't know why I did it.

I... I, uh...

It didn't even mean

anything, anyway.

Maybe I did it 'cause

I'm trying to tell you,

and I'm t-trying to tell myself

that I'm not happy.

Ellen...

If I want to get your attention...

I don't throw a rock at your head.

All you had to do

was say something.

How could you buy a house

without telling me?

I love you.

That's what you do.

You marry, you...

you buy a house,

you have children.

That's what you do.

You should have told me.

I'm gonna pretend this

didn't happen, okay?

Uh, neither of us

will mention it.

I'm sorry...

Aaron.

Oh, what for?

Nothing happened.

Nothing's changed.

# Your love,

lifting me higher #

Ciao.

# Than I've ever

been lifted before #

Less.

More.

Less.

More.

More.

Less.

Okay.

# You know your love

# Your love keeps lifting me

# Keep on lifting

Um, I'd like the other piece.

# Higher and higher

# I said your love

# Your love keeps lifting me

No problem, ma'am.

That's what we're here for.

# Higher and higher

Have a nice day.

Sam, are you all right?

Guess who's coming to dinner.

# Disappointment

was my closest friend #

# But then you came,

and he soon departed #

# And you know he never showed

his face again #

# That's why your love

# Your love keeps lifting me

Mmm.

Oh, mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

It's good.

Good.

Thank you.

What is?

It's pasta with duck.

Dog? Dog?

Dog? No. Oh, no, no, no,

no, duck. Duck.

Um, um, not dog.

Not dog.

Uh...

Duck.

Quack, quack, quack.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Duck. Little duck.

More.

We need more wine.

I'll go get some,

and I will be right back.

I go.

I go?

No, no.

You stay, I go.

Be right back.

Right back.

Oh, my God.

Stay.

Oh.

Just...

Just stay.

Stay. Stay.

Hello.

Aaah!

How much are these potatoes?

How...

Hello?

You're welcome.

My name is Inga.

Hello?

Hello?

Hi.

Hi.

Oh, Inga.

Inga, you waited.

You are welcome to me.

Thank you, God.

Hi.

Do you know who

lives next door?

No.

No.

Ooh!

You wouldn't believe

what goes on in there.

Oooh!

This one's a painter.

That one's a cook.

What about the roses

from Brian?

Have you, um...

Have you seen him

in there before?

Maybe.

I don't know for sure.

You don't know?

He forgets.

Twice a week he comes.

Uh, like clockwork.

But like I said, it's his own

business what he does.

And, um... and the girl?

Oh, don't know this one.

There's another.

Oh, oh, painter. Ooh-ooh.

Twice a week.

Like clockwork.

Thank you.

I just...

I got to go now.

But like I said,

that's his business.

We don't see a thing.

Fjord. Oslo.

Ahhh.

Mm. Mm.

Son of a b*tch? Son of a b*tch?

Oh, you no-good son of a b*tch!

What? What?

Okay, where's Brian?

Huh?

Uh...

Who is Brian?

I... I... I think that you have

the wrong night.

No, no, no, stay. Calm down.

Oh, bullshit!

Calm down. Stay.

Where is he?

L - lady, please, I beg you.

Come out,

you son of a b*tch!

No. no, no, no, no.

Stay.

No, no, no.

I... I can explain.

See, I don't actually,

uh, live here alone.

I mean, I do,

when I have the place,

but I... I only have the place

t - two nights a week.

It's kind of a - a

timeshare thing.

Um, you know, this new

york space is tight. No!

Lady, stop!

Stop!

Stop. Stop.

Anyway, this woman

seems to be looking

for one of the co-tenants.

And, uh, uh, evidently they've

been having some discord.

Get out!

Get out! Get out!

Get out!

Get out! Get out!

Take it ea...

No, Inga.

You're welcome to me.

You're welcome to me. Out!

Inga.

Inga!

I don't know who you are...

or what you're doing here...

but I want you to know

you have just committed

the single cruelest act

since they shot Babar's mom.

I'm sorry.

You're sorry?

You come barging

into a stranger's house

at the worst possible moment,

and you have no idea

how much I needed

or how long I've been waiting

for that worst possible moment.

You destroyed my one chance

of happiness in this world,

and you're sorry?

I was looking for Brian.

Oh, well, he's not here.

I'm Sam.

This is my night!

What does that have to do

with anything?!

Have you ever heard

of knocking

before coming into

a stranger's home?!

Well, I thought that he

was having an affair!

Brian?

The developmentally stunted,

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