The Olivia Experiment Page #4

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That's just a chance

we're gonna

have to take, ok?

I think

I might actually...

take my dress off now.

You want some help?

No, no, no.

I am... no!

I am fine.

Thank you.

Hello.

Hi. Sorry, sorry.

We're finally alone.

Yes.

I think you're pretty.

And so it begins.

So what begins?

The superficial talk.

Never previously a part of our

friendship but necessary now,

considering

the dire circumstance

that I find

myself in right now-

This might be better

if you didn't explain

every little thing

that we do...

Yes, yes. You're right.

Right.

It's a problem.

I like you...

Um, ah! Aah!

There's a cockroach

on my leg!

Let's see it.

He's gone.

He's gone.

Aah!

There it is again!

It's my foot.

See?

Ohh.

Um, God,

I'm so sorry!

Look, we don't have

to do this tonight...

You know, you are so

right. You are so right.

We have

the whole weekend, right?

Ok.

Sure.

You could come by

tomorrow...

Yeah. Or we could just pick

a different location.

Whatever you want.

You know, the...

the daylight would only help

with the filming, right?

Look, you seem really

stressed about this

and this is really just a physical

act, it's not even a big deal.

Yeah. Yeah, I know. And you

are so right to postpone it.

I mean, why force it?

Though our minds may be

willing, our bodies do seem weak,

and thus we are ill-suited

for this tonight.

Goodbye, Julian.

Bye.

CJ,

we're going home!

CJ, I know

what you're thinking,

but this is not

a failure.

Yeah. Whatever.

No,

I have made huge gains.

I practically stripped naked

in front of a man

and laid in bed with him.

I mean, while I didn't

experience any sexual arousal,

some hetero tendencies

were documented.

I just can't believe

you didn't do it.

[BELL CHIMES]

[POP MUSIC PLAYS]

Ain't got no ambition

Ain't got no resolve

But you're on a mission

My problems are solved

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

Julian. Hey.

Wow, what a surprise.

Close your eyes.

Um...

Mmm.

[GASPS]

Oh, hiya.

Mother!

Um... um...

I didn't mean to interrupt...

You didn't mention

an impending visit.

Oh, complete spur of the moment.

I think I'll be going...

Pardon me.

I'm so rude.

Sherri Finch.

Julian.

Mother, you're tattooed.

Also spur of the moment.

Wanna head in

for a little drinkiepoo?

I feel like celebrating.

No, I better be going...

Oh, stay! Let's get to know each other.

We are not dating,

so there is no point.

Hehe.

Well, you never know!

It was nice

to meet you, Mrs...

Sherri.

Sherri

Bye, Olivia.

Hmm. Hot as hell!

Maybe this will go somewhere.

OLIVIA:

What do you care?

You've had no interest

in my life so far.

I boast about you

to everyone!

A genius!

My little Geni-ums-

help me with my bags.

OLIVIA:
Mother,

this is quite possibly

the worst weekend for a visit.

Ooh, hello.

Sherri, so good

to see you again.

I'll set another place.

I met him?

When you and Howard

were here for Christmas.

Ahh. I'm so glad that Olivia's

got a nice boyfriend!

Ah, yes. James is not my boyfriend.

Sherri, I don't know if you

remember this, but I'm gay.

Oh, I had no idea!

You'll meet your man.

Mother...

Just have faith.

Yeah,

shocking as it may be,

my self-esteem does not hinge

on me having a man in my life!

Oh, sure, I know.

Ooh, peaches.

I can make bellinis!

Olivia.

Hi...

Ray. Hey.

Um, I saw you.

I'm parked right there.

I can give you a ride.

You don't know

where I'm going.

True.

But this is a bus stop,

so it's local.

Um, where are you going?

To Julian's,

um, a friend's.

Boyfriend.

No.

I need to get

that drive back.

Ok.

Did you look at it?

I did not look at

your password protected

Defense Department

Math Department drive.

No.

Ok. So I'll

pick it up tomorrow.

Ok.

Ok.

OLIVIA:
Um, I'd like to ask you

a couple of questions.

Good.

So what are your opinions

on sex?

Um, it's a natural progression.

Profession?

Progression.

Thank God. You scared me

for a second there.

Yes.

So when did you personally

decide to have sex?

I'm sorry, it's...

I...are we talking about like.

I thought I was coming in

as like my scientific approach...

Um, no,

I was I was thinking

more about, like,

what you... what you thought.

Well, the big deal is,

you could potentially die

from it.

Like HPV...

You could?

is one of the leading

causes of cervical cancer so...

That's kinda terrifying.

Handjobs are ok.

I think I've just

I'm screwing this... this...

should you cut?

OLIVIA:
What was it like

your first time?

I mean were you,

like, super nervous?

Or were you, like, yeah,

I'm totally going to do this?

Or were you, like,

were you afraid?

Did you have any, like,

physical issues

like heavy breathing

or panic attacks?

God, does this even make

sense for me to have sex?

You know everyone marches

to the beat of their own drum.

You know, everyone kind of moves

at their own pace.

Oh, God.

Come here.

All right?

I know. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Ok.

All right. Just don't blow it this time.

Right. Yeah

Careful with that.

[COUGHING]

Ladies.

Enter.

Ah, she's hot.

It's the other one.

I was just leaving.

Does everybody you know

know about this?

Uh, you were the one

filming it.

Yeah, but not

for public consumption.

Please.

I feel ya.

You have

Death Squad March?

Yes. Are you serious?

You freakin' play?

Yes, every chance I get!

Olivia, could we maybe

play a game?

Me and you could team up.

You guys go ahead.

Nah.

Well, I mean,

I was thinking

if you ladies maybe

wanna smoke a bowl...

You know, it always helps

to loosen me up...

You're the last person

who needs loosening.

I would be up for it.

Not me!

Wait.

After all these years

in Berkeley

you still haven't

tried it?

No!

Well, I mean,

it's your call, but...

All right, suck.

All right, now move it away.

Move it away.

Hold your breath.

Pretend to swallow...

That was interesting.

See what I mean?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Maybe we should go film now

in the bedroom.

You got it.

[GIGGLING]

Uh...

[INDISTINCT]

[LATIN MUSIC PLAYS]

May I?

Oh,

that's embarrassing!

Oh, you were doing fine.

The guy I'm dating

is a great dancer.

I have

white man's rhythm...

Oh, come on.

I love the salsa.

Heh.

Yeah.

It's all in the hips.

Oh, how'd you get

so good at this?

I dated

a salsa dancer myself.

You know, I don't think

I'm cut out

for the gay lifestyle.

Oh, you'll get there.

It's not so hard.

Here, it's all about

the hair.

That's right.

Oh, thank you.

You're a big help.

Fabulous! Fabulous!

So Olivia has been getting

her degree for five years,

she can't take two days off

for her mama?

Well, she, uh,

has her reasons.

That thing we did earlier

was so mind-opening.

God,

a cataclysmic event...

I didn't expect you'd have

such a strong reaction

to it your first time.

We are not talking

about sex!

It's that other thing.

That thing that makes you

really hungry.

That's what we did.

CJ:
I am hungry,

actually.

Yeah! Let's eat!

Absolutely!

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