The Olivia Experiment Page #5

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Let's go. Let's eat.

Oh, no! Oh, no.

You're not getting out of it

that easy this time, Missy.

VIDEO GAME:

Prepare to die, Pissant.

Playing with a guy's balls

is the most important thing.

And then focus on his lips.

Role play. Put on hats.

Slowly let him move downward.

And maybe stroke it

at the same time a little bit

to get him hard.

Doggie style, I like that.

I like that.

Hang on.

Let's just do it right now.

Let's get it done.

You wanna just swallow

it all in there.

You want him to be like,

"Oh, my God!"

And then you ease it on down

and jump on it!

I guarantee you he's gonna nut

in two seconds.

If you wanna turn around

and let him shower you, do it!

Wrong drive.

SHERRI:

What was that?

How to explain... ok.

As you may know Olivia has some

issues with her sexuality...

Well, yeah.

She's still a virgin.

Well, she's decided to try

it with this guy Julian,

his girlfriend's fine with it.

And she's going to make

a movie out of it?

No wonder she didn't want

to talk to me.

This might help her.

Are we rolling?

Um, Olivia, look, you know,

I don't understand

why you're a virgin

at 27 years of age.

What are you thinking?

What were you doing

on Prom night?

Everybody looses their virginity

on Prom night.

Are you insane?

Why are you in gender studies?

Do you think you're ever gonna

get a job in gender studies?

What is gender studies?

What is it? What is it?

I don't understand

bi-sexual, homosexual,

asexual, sexual anorexics,

sexual, sexual this,

sexual that, sexual...

identity sh*t.

Olivia, everybody blames

their mother, all right.

All right, you hate me.

I understand.

Oh, wow. I look really good.

That's great.

This is the Arturo touch.

You look at him.

You look at him.

And you wanna look at him

from an angle like this.

You get in there.

You stick your vagina

right in there,

and you say eat that sh*t

out motherf***er.

Do you need anything else?

Look, I feel like I'm rambling

a little bit.

Oh, that...

that is not appropriate.

That is not... that is not even

appropriate right now.

Cheers.

Cheers to Olivia.

To Olivia.

To Olivia.

Listen, Olivia. Right now I'm

sure you're doing something

and I hope you're

not thinking about us.

No. Don't think about us.

And especially me.

Especially not your mom.

That's just weird.

No!

God, don't think about me.

That's weird.

Yeah, yeah.

Don't be thinking about...

What do you think

she's doing right now?

[MOANING] Oh!

Oh, that was amazing.

[SIGHS]

[GIGGLES]

Oh, I was, uh...

I was just gonna

use the restroom.

Yeah. Sure. Sure.

Have you ever noticed

that when you're high

your hands turn into these

elfin, puppet-like creatures?

Yeah, so did you do it?

You mean technically,

am I still a virgin?

Yeah.

Well, how do you define

this thing virginity?

CJ:

What happened?!

JULIAN:

We didn't do it.

[LAUGHING, CHATTER]

Oh, my gosh.

What an amazing weekend.

Julian, I...

I am just amazed by you.

You were so patient with me.

Even with all of my craziness.

Wow. I'm just amazed that

you are actually still here.

I didn't really have

any other plans.

And, CJ, you have gone

above and beyond

what any friend could have

possibly been expected to do

with this project.

Thank you.

Well, it was actually

kind of interesting.

Well, I'm obviously not gay

so I hope you're not

disappointed about that.

Ahh... no!

And, Julian, um,

though I'm not sexually

attracted to you right now,

I will admit to a certain

je ne sais quoi

when it comes to, uh,

the kiss we had on my porch.

And, uh,

though it doesn't make me

want to have sex with you...

oh, my advisor's here!

I have to go tell him

about my newest accomplishment!

Hey, I hope you don't

take this personally.

Naw.

I think she has issues.

Yeah, 'cause if she can't

do it with you,

there isn't a guy

out there who's hot enough.

Cool.

I so wish

I was a lesbian right now.

Yeah, well,

maybe in your next life.

Yeah.

Wow, that was weird.

That was not my advisor.

Oh, oh, my.

We had fun dancing so...

Ah! You guys are

the best friends ever.

Thank you.

Thank you, CJ.

Julian.

Um, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait.

What's going on here?

It's kind of been building

all weekend.

But, CJ, you're gay!

I... I think

I might be bi.

You should seriously look

into that...

Wait, you... you're a betrayer

is what you are!

Well, you're the one

who's been talking about

exploring your sexuality

all weekend.

I can't believe that this

is happening! Julian...

We're just talking.

This is just friends talking.

No hating.

Maybe we should all just

smoke another bowl...

You know, no.

No.

You know, I have been

duped by you people!

Ok? I have been completely open

with you guys,

and you both know everything

about my pathetic little life,

and you... this is how

you repay me?!

Uh, just keep the blanket.

Can't we just talk

about this?

No. You know what,

as a friend

and as a camerawoman,

you're fired!

Olivia.

CJ:
Olivia!

MAN:
I mean, people think, like,

oh, you know,

my first time there's

gonna be fireworks.

It's gonna be amazing.

No. It's not.

You do it.

You finish, and you move on.

WOMAN:
There was nothing magical

about it.

MAN 2:
It was definitely

awkward, but, you know,

things have gotten smoother.

I've worked out the kinks.

MAN 3:
I was 16.

I was 15 years old.

I was 17.

I was 16 years old.

I was 20. And...

I was so nervous,

I wore my favorite hat.

It was Halloween. I was 16.

And I was dressed as a girl.

And I wasn't just dressed as a

girl. I was dressed as a hooker.

I actually was

at this bar in New York,

and, uh, I was sitting there,

and I was really drunk.

And I'd never kissed

a girl ever.

I lost my virginity

to a 38-year-old woman,

uh,

at a truck stop in New Mexico.

And she pulled me into the room,

and I said, "What's going on?"

And she came over and she, like,

took off all her clothes

and I was really really nervous.

And she's, like,

"I don't wanna

make you uncomfortable."

And I was like thinking

in my head,

"This is the best thing ever."

It was actually... it happened

when I was in high school.

And it was more of

a peer-pressure thing.

MAN:
I met somebody who sort of,

I guess,

tricked me into the ways

of the world.

WOMAN:
After that,

I knew that it wasn't right

and I had the courage

to be myself.

And I think that, you know,

it saved my life.

[SIGHS]

Grr!

[PHONE RINGING]

CJ:
Hey. It's CJ.

I haven't heard from you.

Well, I'm turnin' in,

so call me tomorrow.

[PHONE RINGING]

God damn it, CJ,

leave me alone!

Hey, it's Felisha...

Oh! Hi. I'm sorry.

Sorry...

Uh. Is Julian around?

I've been texting him

for a while.

Julian, uh, no.

I think... I think he went out.

Oh. So, uh,

how's everything going?

OLIVIA:
Ok.

You know things are going

about as expected

at the moment.

I'll see you both tomorrow then.

Yeah, uh,

I may or may not be there.

Oh?

Yeah, I've just got a lot

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