The Olivia Experiment Page #6

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of things

that I need to do.

How's San Jose?

It's fine.

Um, Olivia?

Yeah?

Um, nothing. Never mind.

Bye.

OLIVIA:
Bye.

[CJ GIGGLING]

JULIAN:
Come see this.

Touch it.

CJ:
What?

No? You won't do that?

[CJ LAUGHING]

[CJ MOANING]

JULIAN:
Is that good?

CJ:
Yeah, definitely.

I've only seen this

in pornos.

JULIAN:

You're doing fine.

You're doing really fine.

CJ:
Oh. Oh.

Yea. Whoo.

JULIAN:
You wanna try

being on top?

CJ:
I'm so glad

I did this with you.

[DOOR CREAKS OPEN]

Felisha.

Hi.

Hi. Wow.

What a surprise.

Is... is he asleep?

Hah, in a sense.

Is that why we whisper?

Possibly, yes. Yes.

Ok.

Yes. He's asleep.

I just felt like maybe I

should come back early...

Yeah, I think

maybe we should go outside

because I'm having a really

hard time hearing you.

[CJ MOANS]

I heard something.

Oh, I didn't.

What is going on?

Nothing, nothing.

Olivia. What is...

It's really tough

to understand.

Please. You really

don't want to see this.

No!

[FELISHA GASPS]

I'm so sorry, Felisha.

The camerawoman?!

Why is the camerawoman

in the video?!

JULIAN:
Uhh...

Please, put some clothes

back on.

This was not

part of the deal!

I'm so sorry, Felisha.

They did this on their own...

JULIAN:
Felisha?

Felisha,

let's all calm down...

I thought she was gay.

I did too!

You b*tch.

No, no, no, no.

This is no one's fault.

Ok, it might

actually be yours.

You seem bent on reaffirming

the male philandering stereotype.

How could you expect

anything...

No.

Do not blame him, ok.

He was doing you

a favor.

You're all beautiful women.

Things happen the way

that they're supposed to.

CJ, wait!

I can't believe

that I trusted you,

and now Julian's

in love?

Yeah,

clearly I'm a non-threat.

No,

that's not what I meant...

Of course it is!

You think that

you can reaffirm

your relationship

with your boyfriend

by serving him up

to a lesser partner...

No. Not true!

Absolutely true.

Just serve him up

as a sexual sacrifice!

No, I told you why,

Olivia.

It's because I...

it's because I cared

about you as a friend.

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

So the experiment has taken

several unexpected turns,

including the end

of some relationships

and the beginning of others

none of which involve me.

[SNIFFLES]

[DOOR OPENS, LAUGHING]

Get in there, sexy man.

Get in there.

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYS]

I am danced out.

I am done dancing.

Oh. She's taking off

her shoes.

JAMES:
Hey! Hey, no shoes

in the house.

No shoes. No shirts!

No shirts in the house.

No shirts in the house.

No, sir, no shirts.

No shirts.

No shirts. No shirts.

SHERRI:

No pants in the house.

JAMES:

No pants in the house.

Hey hey!

Ack.

I'm being attacked.

You have to be

careful with...

[LAUGHING]

Wait, is this uncomfortable

for you?

Oh, no.

You know

how many gals my age

get to watch

hot guy-on-guy sex?

Statistically, none.

So which one of you

is the bottom?

BOTH:
He is.

What is going on

in here?

Aah!

Mother!

What are you doing?

We didn't know

that you were up, Honey.

We didn't know you'd be home.

Yeah, well, I am.

JAMES:
Sorry, Olivia.

Sorry.

You don't look

any different...

You told her?!

What, so my life is an

open book, an open joke?

We all care about you.

If you ever wanted

to share...

Yeah, I would have told

you myself.

I wish.

Ok, here it is.

I'm still a f***ing virgin,

Mother!

Oh, well, maybe it

just wasn't meant to be...

You know, you can just save your

feeble clichs for the morning.

Oleo, I'm not going to

be here in the morning.

Oh?

[TOILET FLUSHES]

Well, here it is.

I'm in love!

Sher,

still the free spirit.

Oh, and just so darn

open-minded!

Um, Olivia, this is Dan.

Dan, this is Olivia,

my eldest.

Ah, so nice

to finally meet you.

[GAGS]

Whoa, how are you feeling?

[SIGHS] Much better.

Let me get

you something to wear.

Why is he not

fully clothed?

Because he barfed

all over his shirt.

Should I even bother

asking who he is?

Dan and I were

college sweethearts.

DAN:
I remember it

like it was yesterday.

SHERRI:
Oh, he always

had a way with words!

Please tell me

that you didn't come up here

to take up with this man.

No! No. It was something

where we wanted

to see where it would go.

It's just like

old times.

You have a husband!

James, you can't just bring

in random strangers

and let them walk around

half naked!

And you wonder

why she's still a virgin.

You, out!

Settle down!

Now!

Wait, wait wait wait.

Let's all talk about this...

Just you and me,

I will not share, ok?

It's not worth

the trouble.

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

SHERRI:
Oleo...

Mother, just go.

Just go!

Olivia?!

For women like my mother,

sex is simple.

Sex is meant

for people like them.

As for me...

I'm just going to take myself

out of the game.

This concludes the experiment.

Um, Olivia...

I just...

I wanna tell you

that I love you,

and I...

I don't know. I wanna

say so many things to you.

I just have so much in my heart

that I want to say.

And I just...

I just want you

to be happy, sweetie,

and, um...

I'm sorry.

[SIGHS]

[DOOR SLAMS]

Hi. Um... you...

I was just outside.

Me too.

I tried to say something,

but I didn't.

Were you watching me?

No, I just didn't want to

startle you, like the other day.

Great. Um...

Well, next time

maybe you can come by

when I'm not

in my pajamas.

Ok. Um, but I just...

you didn't say a time.

At the bus stop.

Oh, right!

Uh, the drive, right.

Let me go get James.

And you, um...

you can, um,

wait in here, ok?

Well, Ray Dingman is here,

and I would also like to,

um...

apologize for being

such a lunatic last night.

I hope Arturo

isn't too upset

with everything

that went down.

We'll go to his place

next time.

Well,

there won't be any need

because, um...

the experiment's over.

There's no point.

I, uh...

I can't do it.

That's why I was home

last night.

I'm just not made for...

that.

I feel like

I let everybody down.

No, you didn't.

It's ok.

It is. It's ok.

It was an experiment.

I know.

Come here.

Wait.

You did say that Ray?

He's here now?

In the flesh.

What does he want?

Um,

his top secret drive.

I didn't see it yet.

Maybe it's in the computer.

Yes! Ok, here's the drive,

um, excellent!

Hi, Ray.

James.

Hey.

Yes!

Oh, no.

That's not it.

Yes, it is!

Olivia, that's from

your experiment.

Oh, no.

So where's mine?

Where's mine?

Um...

CJ must have taken it!

Who's CJ?

Um, she's the camerawoman.

I'll get it back to you.

I will!

Is this CJ,

is she trustworthy?

Yes, uh, yes!

Um, I thought you said

that it was password protected?

It's not! It's not!!

Oh, God.

Ok, we need to get it back!

I will get it back to you.

I promise. I promise!

So you wanna

know the name of my car?

Sure.

It's Olivia.

I was just kidding.

It was a joke.

[POP MUSIC PLAYS]

Look at yourself

Look at me, dear

Oh! Thank you.

How did we

Become this, dear

Why can't we learn

To solve our trap

You are left

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