The Only One Page #2

on Saturdays cutlets are on the menu.

On Sundays we've got roast turkey.

This is the dining room.

There's an academy nearby and

the students often come to play here.

There's a ballroom dancing

afternoon and one for bingo.

Miss...

Dad, where are you going?

If I have to leave somewhere

feet first,

it'll be from home and nowhere else.

But dad, how can you

want to be anywhere else?

It's so modern

and that manager was so charming.

A two-faced bastard.

- Now why would you say that?

Because it's true.

- I understand. He's still healthy.

That's the point. This is the perfect

place to help him stay healthy.

This is no prison, is it? No one

to meddle in your affairs, no nagging.

And you're taken care of.

You can come and go as you please.

You can play billiards every day

and there'd be people to talk to.

Why don't you move in then?

You're being childish.

Get in the car.

Get in the car, dad.

And a bit of ground cheese, please.

Hi, Master Lucien. I hope the fire

didn't do too much damage?

They want to put me in a rest home.

Over my dead body.

Hand me a can of tomato soup.

What's he saying?

There aren't any rest homes in Turkey.

Parents move in with their children.

Well, Turkey, yes.

That's it?

- Yes, that's it.

That'll be 18 euros.

- Thank you.

Can you put it on my tab? I haven't

had time to rob a bank yet this week.

No problem.

Wait, Mr Lucien

will give you a hand.

Thank you, that's very kind. Bye.

Thank you, madam Sylvia.

Bye, Master Lucien.

Thank you.

You're most kind, Mr Knops.

You must think I'm an old bastard.

No, that's not it. I just don't get

the impression you're looking

to strike up an inspiring conversation

with your new neighbour.

Perhaps we're too different.

Still, I speak Dutch,

I pay my taxes on time

and I'm very clean.

Would you like a cup of coffee?

Come in.

Just ignore the mess.

That's a Raveel.

I know nothing about art.

Do you like that?

Are you interested in art?

It's home-made.

- Thank you.

Was that your father

in the rest home?

No, that's my husband.

He has a rare form of Alzheimer's.

Alzheimer's?

I'll hang myself if I get Alzheimer's.

If you can remember

where you left the noose.

Great coffee.

- Thank you.

It's me.

Dammit, Lucien.

One of these days

you'll give me a heart attack.

By the way, could you keep the place

a bit tidier from now on?

It was a pigsty.

Have you been drinking?

Damn drunk. I've got one like that

at home. One is more than enough.

There's someone at the door.

That'll be 375.

- Here you are.

Thank you, Lucien.

Bye madam.

When did you last have a bath?

What kind of a question is that?

So you're going to Paris after all?

That's the general idea, yes.

How did your parents react?

Dad's not against it, but...

mum is. Paris is in a foreign country

and it's so expensive there.

And my scholarship isn't good enough

and this and that.

I really hope she'll let me go.

Your mother shouldn't nag so much.

On the contrary.

She should be proud of her daughter.

Don't worry about money. If money's

an issue, I'll take care of it.

Grandad.

But who will help me

with this machine?

It's really not much harder than your

typewriter and a lot more practical.

You're going to love it, trust me.

You especially.

All those letters you write.

There we are.

Hello Felix.

How bad is it?

Don't hesitate to buzz the nurse.

- I won't.

There's Lucien. Hi Lucien.

You shouldn't have.

- What lovely flowers.

Go get a vase, Felix.

- Yes darling.

Looks like I'll be here for a while

with that leg of mine.

Will you be able to cope?

- I'll have to find someone.

Just to do the cleaning.

You won't cheat on me, will you?

- No.

I'm not saying anything. Not a word.

- Why? She's pretty, isn't she?

You're not telling me

there were no other candidates.

Two Polish ones

but I didn't understand them.

And a Moroccan woman

with a moustache.

I didn't want to understand her.

What about the lady I sent you?

A decent Belgian woman.

She wouldn't work off the books.

Have you worked before?

I used to tend bar in a club.

I'm a dancer actually.

Lucien, I'm out of here, okay?

You won't forget to take the laundry

out of the washer?

What is it this time?

You never really loved me.

Roxanne, can you get two Trappists?

Wow, where did you find her?

Mathilde and Gerda talked about

your maid for over an hour yesterday.

You're joking.

She's mad about older men.

- Really?

Thanks.

- There you go.

Thank you.

- You're welcome.

Now tell me why you're here.

I brought the order of business

for the general assembly.

I know it by heart, don't I?

Don't forget we have to elect

a new chairman this year.

I've been the only candidate

for thirty years.

I know, but Raymond

is also running this year.

Raymond?

- Yes, Raymond.

Some people live in a fool's paradise.

Mr Knops? I'm Samira.

Pleased to meet you.

Let me get the door for you.

Dear editor-in-chief,

this is going too far.

A fine of five hundred euros and

I don't get my licence back

until I take the driving test again.

There's no justice left in the world.

That's misuse of power,

it's all about the money.

Respect... They don't give a damn

about that anymore nowadays.

Take us, the third and fourth ages.

Do you really think they respect us?

They couldn't care less.

They keep us alive

just so they can test new drugs.

That means more jobs.

We're a valuable economic sector.

Some people make a bundle thanks to

us and that's all that matters nowadays.

A cup of coffee?

- That's all that matters.

A cup of coffee? Why not.

Roxanne?

Okay, the name of the suspect?

Of your so-called housekeeper?

- Roxanne.

Roxanne's last name?

I don't know.

If it isn't our drunken grandad.

What did you do this time?

Grandad got his pension cheque stolen.

It's your own fault. I suppose

you've never heard of a bank?

I'm an old-fashioned guy.

I pay with money, not plastic.

A lot of good it did you.

Are you're sure you didn't

just misplace it and forget about it?

No, it was Roxanne all right.

- Roxanne?

Roxanne with no last name

and no address?

You've really gone off the deep end

since your wife's death, haven't you?

Do you mind my going to Paris?

Paris, Paris.

I've never been to Paris, you know.

I've got it.

Will you miss me?

- Don't be daft.

Dear editor-in-chief,

Why do people always have

to look for happiness elsewhere?

Is it so hard to be happy

in your own country?

Perhaps you can answer

my ever-recurring question.

Yours truly, Lucien Knops.

1.500 euros. That's

a lot of money. It's 2h30.

Maybe you'll be our 10th caller

and win the 1.500 euros.

This is my answering machine.

But be brave and leave

a message after the beep.

This is Julie.

This is an answering machine.

Be brave and leave

a message after the beep.

Well, you were right for once.

I just can't... I can't live alone.

I'm just starting to realise

how much your mother meant to me.

And I can no longer count on Mathilde.

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