The Oranges Page #6

No. I understand.

Thanks for calling back.

Told you.

He'll write you

a reference, but...

Yeah. He doesn't

want to get involved.

This isn't gonna work.

I need to find another job.

I can't stay at Meredith's

rent-free.

I know.

And I can't stay here,

across the street

from my parents.

- I love you. But...

- What the f***?

- Ethan?

- What the hell is going on?

- What are you doing here?

- Ethan? Like, Ethan Ethan?

- How did you get in here?

- Your mom gave me the keys.

She told me to let myself in,

like you might not

hear the bell.

Look, Ethan, I'm sorry, but I'm

gonna have to ask you to leave.

You can ask, but I'm not gonna.

Who is this?

Ethan, this is David -

David and Paige,

my parents' best friends

from across the street.

Why are you telling

your parents' friend

that you love him?

The door's open.

What's going on?

Nina, I need to talk to you.

Can we go somewhere

for, like, five minutes?

Ethan!

I think you should leave.

- Ethan Ethan?

- Yes! Just five minutes!

She said no, Ethan.

I'm gonna ask you one more time

to get out of here.

And if I don't, Pops,

what are you gonna do about it?

Arggh!

- Dad!

- Hey!

- David!

- Dad!

Get off me!

# Your eyes

are like starlight now

# To break this spell

# I'll take your hat

Your hair looks swell... #

Why don't you go f***...

- What?

- Nothing.

It's OK.

# Baby,

it's cold outside. #

Yes, I cheated on you.

And for that, I am deeply sorry.

But here's the thing.

I'm a sabotager.

See, any time

anything good happens to me,

I...I... I just try

and ruin it, you know,

because I get scared.

Now, things with us

were really... real.

But I didn't feel like

I deserved you,

so I became the sabotager

and, like, destroyed it.

That's great, Ethan.

But we can't just go on

and pretend like everything's fine

because you learned

a new term about yourself.

And I don't even think

'sabotager' is a word.

OK. Please allow me

to finish.

See, I think

you're a sabotager also.

You totally pushed for us

to get married so you could, like,

prove to your parents

that, you know,

you were

this responsible person.

But simultaneously, you were

just trying to piss them off

by marrying someone like me.

I've moved on.

- OK? David and I...

- David and you...

He's your parents' best friend.

For Christ's sakes.

I mean, what... Are you gonna move

here to New Jersey?

You hate it here.

We're done.

OK? Go home.

I only bought

a one-way ticket.

Well, I'm not giving up

on us, Nina!

I love you too much for that!

What?

What are you doing with my bag?

Huh? Nothing.

Just getting it some air.

- Give me my bag.

- No.

Give me my bag!

- Eat me, dick slut.

- Give me my bag, Vanessa!

No, Nina!

- No!

- Give me my bag!

- No! No!

- Give it to me!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

- Give it!

Oh!

Oh, honey. Uh...

Honey?

I'm sorry, Dad.

Uh...

Oh...

Uh, you know, leave it be.

It's a... it's a badge of honour.

- You sure?

- Yeah.

There's aloe on the pad

to prevent scarring.

OK. Um...

You know, I'm good.

I'm, uh... I'm good.

I'm so sorry about

all this horrible...

...stuff.

I'm just...

Yeah.

You know,

my parents were kinda weird.

That's why I'm, um...

Sometimes it's really hard

to say everything you want to.

You know...

Your father, he loves you.

Just don't let that

get confused

with everything

that's happening.

Life.

Ooph!

Stuff.

...Pasquerella, this is Greg

from Barnyard International.

I'm wondering

if I could interest you

in sponsoring a goat.

Funding

for Barnyard International...

Well, thank you very much,

Mr Ingber, and, uh... I...

...and I'm sure the people

of Komanesk, Ukraine,

who will be receiving the chickens,

thank you as well.

- Merry Christmas. 'Bye.

- Great job, Paige.

You're a natural.

Thank you.

It'll be a great Christmas.

Oh, f***!

- Are you out of your mind?

- What? I'm not on his lawn.

I'm in the street.

The street's public property.

- I told you to go home.

- Yeah.

And I totally bought

a return ticket.

But guess what.

I'm not using it.

I'm not leaving until

you give me another chance.

Nina, I'm not, which is why

I ripped up that ticket,

in my mind.

'Cause it's an e-ticket.

Look... I've moved on.

I'm with someone else now.

You need to get over me.

Yeah, see,

that's, like, the whole thing!

I don't want to get over you!

Nina! Please!

# Those streetlights

start to fade away

# I see the quiet on you

when you're sleeping

# Probably dreaming day

# We had the perfect... #

Hey.

Hi.

Thanks.

I'm glad you stopped.

I've been playing

a lot of ultimate.

I'm going to play some.

That's great.

I miss you, Terry.

You might want to find Vanessa.

Why? What happened?

You should probably

let her tell you.

Harry, cut the sh*t.

What happened?

Hey.

This is a mess.

Uh-huh.

Look.

If you want me to end this,

I will.

I'm serious.

I know it may not

seem like it lately, but...

...you are the most important thing

in the world to me.

I don't know.

I mean, then what happens?

You know...

I don't know.

# Oh, the weather outside

is frightful

# But the fire is so delightful

# And since we've

no place to go

# Let it snow,

let it snow, let it snow

# Man, it doesn't show

signs of stopping... #

What are you doing, Ethan?

# The lights are turned

way down low... #

Paige, I want you

to stop avoiding me.

Terry and I are spending

Christmas Eve with you.

This tradition is continuing.

So get your ass over here

or I'll get really mad.

OK?

I love you. 'Bye.

How was that? Too forceful?

# Oh, the fire is slowly dying

# And, my dear,

we're still goodbye-mg..- #

Oh, sh*t.

# But as long as you love me so

# Let it snow, let it snow

- Hey. Merry Christmas.

- # Let it snow. #

Yeah. Same, uh...

same to you.

David!

Hello? Anyone home?

- Hey!

- Hi.

- Toby.

- Nina. What's going on?

- Oh.

- Oh...

I really missed you.

Did you get my postcards?

- Uh... No.

- No? That's so funny.

I sent 'em to your...

your mom's house.

- Is everyone already over here?

- Call that guy...

- Hey, Toby. You're back.

- Hey.

- Merry Christmas.

- Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas.

What's with that guy outside?

How the hell could you not

tell me Mom and Dad split up?

- How could nobody tell me?

- What could you do?

You were in China.

How was that, by the way?

Just get your ass over here.

You're not leaving me

alone with them.

Look, I can't, OK?

I'm at work.

And where the hell is Mom'?

Merry Christmas.

'Bye.

Say hi to your family.

Putting aside the enormous

and nauseating age difference

between you two,

you do realise

that I've kissed her twice?

No, once.

We never kissed on Thanksgiving.

Oh, well,

everything is fine, then.

Toby, come on. Uh, look.

I know you're upset.

- But try to understand.

- Understand what?

That I am the first son

in history

to be cock-blocked

by his father?

Oh, good.

I haven't missed anything.

Toby. Toby!

Excuse me.

Merry Christmas.

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