The Overnight Page #5

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like you might throw up again just let us all know.

- Okay.

- -Okay?

Okay. I will listen to my body.

Thanks, honey.

Hey, can I say something?

Something's been bothering me. I

don't, I don't mean to offend you,

I only say this out of concern.

What's with

the whole nudity thing?

Yeah. I, I hope

it's not because of us, is it?

Oh, no, no, no.

You guys are great.

- Okay.

- What is it, man?

I just feel like there's some kind

of a weird judgment going on.

No, there is no judgment.

No judgment at all.

No. It's just, uh...

It's my problem.

- I... No.

- It is.

I wouldn't call it a problem.

Honey, you don't have

to cover for me.

It's not a problem, it's just that

we're not totally comfortable.

It's not her problem.

Okay. It's...

You don't have to do this. -No, it's me.

I have a body issue.

- Honey, you don't...

- Why wouldn't I do this?

- I don't... I just...

- What?

We don't know, you know.

We don't know what? We

don't know where we are?

I know where I am.

I'm in a hot tub.

I do know that, too. -And I'm

in with these wonderful people.

And why not say

I have a body issue?

I just say... You just

say the words, you know?

- What's the issue?

- Yeah.

I have an abnormally

small dick.

- I have an abnormally small dick!

- Okay, uh-huh.

- Sweetheart...

- I do. It's...

- As long as I can remember.

- -Hey...

Tiny dick. There it is.

That's okay, man.

Is it Kurt? Really?

I've seen your dick, man. I don't think

you know what I'm talking about.

Okay?

No, no...

Well, Alex, what Kurt means to say

is that you're in a safe place.

You can talk to us.

Honey, you know that it

doesn't mean anything to me.

It doesn't matter to me.

Oh, right, 'cause

the circles, right?

I make circles, everything is okay.

It's like I have a big old ding dong.

I've... All I have to do is take

it and move it around in circles,

and it's like

it's like that big.

- Honey.

- Is that...

Honey... -Right? That's

what this is about, right?

Because of circles

all our problems are solved.

Sorry, guys. I'm...

Hey, Alex?

What? -There's nothing

to be sorry about.

- We all love you.

- We do.

You don't have

to hold this anymore.

You know,

I didn't even know it was small

until middle school.

Like...

In PE class I would just see

guys changing and I would...

Like I knew something

was wrong.

But I didn't...

Like I asked my parents

about it and they were like,

"Well, you'll hit puberty

and it will grow. "

You know?

But it just... It didn't. It never did.

It never grew.

So I still have this,

like, dick from middle school

on my body.

I'm so goddamn

proud of you right now.

You have a spark in you.

I saw it the first time I laid eyes

on you, all right? You've got a...

It's like you have a blinding aura of goodness

and love surrounding you at all times.

- It f***ing follows you around.

- Oh, come on.

I'm not just waxing your car here, man.

You've got something special.

You need to share

with the world.

- Okay.

- See that girl over there?

She loves you for who you are,

with every sense of her being.

You guys are gonna grow old and die

together on a porch somewhere.

I mean, it's big.

Yeah.

And there is a wild card

in the situation too.

If I know my wife, I can

tell when she likes someone

- and she thinks you're the bee's knees.

- Really?

Yeah, everybody...

You're loved.

I want you to stop moping

around like a little b*tch,

you take that thing, you own it, you get the f*** out

there and you show me what the f*** you're made out of.

You're a stud!

You're a stud horse, Alex.

- Don't you ever forget that.

- Okay.

- All right?

- Okay.

- I'm serious.

- Yeah. I'm a stud horse.

You're a stud horse.

Ladies and ladies, can I have

your full attention, please?

Whoo!

Girls, get the biggest towel you got, 'cause

your pussies are about to be dripping wet.

Prepare yourselves to bear

witness to the beautiful,

the lovely, the one, the only...

Alex!

Woo-hoo!

Yes, yes, yes!

Whoo!

Oh, my God!

- Yes!

- Yes!

That was f***ing fun!

Thank you! Thanks!

Whoo!

Your husband

is a really great man.

Yes! Whoo!

Whoo!

I feel like I just gave

birth to myself.

And...

- Honey...

- Yeah?

I am very happy for you

that you were able to have your little,

you know, like, breakthrough over there,

but I think we've reached

that point in the evening

where we should leave

before anything crazy happens.

What are you talking about?

We can't leave. -Sweetie...

I'm just telling you

this because I don't think

that you'll firing on

all cylinders right now.

I'm not only firing on all cylinders, I am

firing on cylinders I didn't even know I had.

Honey, I'm pretty sure that

we have moved from, uh,

free wheeling, sort of California

vibe to more of a swinger vibe.

That's what it feels like to me.

Oh! No, I... I don't...

think so at all, like...

I mean, I, I...

I really went through

something over there.

Feel like more confident than

I've ever felt in my entire life.

It's... It's... It's...

It feels so good, hun.

Well, I mean, of course,

you're feeling good right now.

You're drunk and you're stoned.

Well, you're drunk

and stoned, too.

I am drunk and stoned, but I am not the one

who was dancing around with my pants off.

Well, there you go. Maybe

that's the problem.

Maybe that's what you should do.

Excuse me? -Maybe

you should get naked.

Alex, I don't really think that this

is a box you want to open right now.

Okay, what I'm saying is I...

I love my dick.

Okay. -Do you understand how big

a deal it is for me to say that?

Okay. -Like I really feel that.

Like I love it.

I mean, Kurt

brought me to this place where I can actually say

something like that, and that's, that's huge!

You think I want to leave

this place right now?

That's crazy. I mean,

I feel like this is

so good for our sex life,

for our everything.

Emily...

I am expanding tonight.

Maybe you should expand too.

It might be good for you.

We're out, guys.

Looks like we're gonna need a booze run.

Emily, you wanna come with?

- Yeah.

- -I know a place that's open all night.

Okay.

Will you get me

something brown and hardcore?

I think I'm going for the hard stuff now.

It's that time of night.

Char, there's like five bottles

of whiskey back there.

Yeah. I know.

Are you coming?

We're in our most downward

facing dog style positions.

Somehow she's able to reach

around and do it from the back.

I mean, that is an extremely

flexible woman. -No doubt.

Yeah, I could only last three or four

minutes before I lost it completely.

It was like her p*ssy

was grabbing me.

I hate to throw her

under the bus.

You've never seen

anything like it before.

Oh, my God!

I feel like crazy, nasty sex is a mandatory

class at French college or something.

- Whoa!

- I mean...

There's nothing

we haven't tried.

Charlotte, why am

I driving your car?

Oh! I don't know how to drive.

Oh.

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