The Owl House Page #2

Season #1 Episode #3: I Was a Teenage Abomination

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King:
Well, when you lose, you'll have to... wear a shame hat and sleep in a shack and never come into the Owl House again! Ha!

Eda:
Deal.

King:
[squeaks as he stamps his paw to a page]

[Eda tosses the egg at King's head, breaking it and leaving a baby trash slug between his horns. It slips down his skull, but King catches it. It coos at him.]

Eda:
[walking away] Ha ha!

[Cut back to the forest, where Luz is watching in awe as the roots are still writing around Willow. She finally seems to snap out of it, leaning forward worriedly and letting the roots fall.]

Willow:
Oh, no, no, no, no, no! I'm so sorry! [makes the roots still wrapped around Luz's legs retreat]

Luz:
It's okay. The thorns only went through a few layers of skin.

[Willow gets very close to Luz, forcing her to lean back a bit.]

Willow:
So... circly.

Luz:
[squeals and covers her ears]

Willow:
[gasps] You're human! This is astounding! [gasps and grabs Luz's face, then helps her stand and walks around her] A human on the Boiling Isles! How'd you get here? What are you doing here?

[bells pealing]

Willow:
[flinches and puts Luz's arm down] Uh, I'm sorry. I can't stay. I have to go disappoint my teacher. It was nice to meet you, human. [walks away, half-waving]

Luz:
[half-waves back, then rushes after her] Wait! I'm Luz. And you're Willow, right? What you did with that flower and those plants, it was... wow.

Willow:
Thanks, but... I'm not even supposed to be doing plant magic. My parents put me in the abomination track at school.

Luz:
[squeals, grabbing Willow] Like, magic school?

[Willow nods]

Luz:
That's so cool! [lets Willow go] I'm so jealous. I have a teacher, but her lessons are a bit... untraditional. I bet she wouldn't even let me enroll. But I wish I could spend one day there.

Willow:
I wish I could get a passing grade for once. Then people would stop calling me "Half‐a‐Witch Willow."

[She kicks her spilled abomination, which groans.]

Luz:
Hey, wait. I know how we can both get what we want. [picks up abomination goo in both hands and splashes it on her hoodie] Make me your abomination. I'll get you a good grade, and you can get me into magic school. It's fiendishly clever.

Willow:
What?

Luz:
I saw that girl's thing. It's just chunks of stuff that talks weird. I'm chunks of stuff, and I talk weird!

Willow:
That's true. [giggles] Okay. It's a deal. Luz.

[They shake hands.]

Luz:
This is a great plan.

[They try to pull their hands apart, but the abomination goo on Luz's leaves them stuck together.]

Willow:
Oops. Abomination goo.

[Luz uses her foot to free them, but the force sends her splashing in the goo on the ground.]

Luz:
Great plan.

[Willow perks up. Cut to the exterior of a school.]

Willow:
Welcome to Hexside School of Magic and Demonics. Remember to stay hidden, okay?

[Luz, of inside Willow's abomination pot, squeals and giggles. Cut to the interior of Hexside. Willow stops at a locker, tickling it to make it open its mouth and give her her books. A shorter witch reading a magazine bumps into her.]

Willow:
Hmm?

Gus:
Willow, you would not believe humans.

Willow:
Humans? Psh. I haven't seen any. What?

Gus:
[showing her the magazine] Did you know that humans nail barbed wire to their kids' teeth? But why? Maybe to make them magnetic.

Luz:
Actually, it's for storing treats.

[Gus looks confused]

Willow:
Okay, Augustus. I'm gonna tell you something. But you have to be cool.

Gus:
I can be spool. [stammers] I mean, cool.

Willow:
Okay. Abomination, rise.

Luz:
[stands out of the pot] Ta‐da! I'm an abomination.

Willow:
Luz, that's not how abominations act.

Gus:
[drops his magazine] No. No, it, [plays with his ears while staring at Luz's] it couldn't be.

Willow:
He's the president of the Human Appreciation Society. Most witches wouldn't be able to recognize a human right away. But Augustus is an expert.

Gus:
Where are your gills?

Luz:
I knew an Augustus back in the human world. We called him Gus.

Gus:
Gus? Nickname? Human nickname? Gus? Call me it. Wow. Gus. This is the best day of my life.

[A bell screams]

Gus:
I've gotta get to spelling class. [grabs his magazine and a wand before running off] See you guys at lunch!

Willow:
[waves at Gus] All right. Into the darkness you go.

Luz:
[hisses as she sinks down]

[Cut to the outside of the Owl House, where King is giving the baby trash slug a dog treat.]

King:
Aw. Who's a good Prince, Jr.? Who's a good guy?

Eda:
[in a lounge chair drinking out of a coffee mug] Hey, Mr. Wiggles. You're not gonna teach it anything doing that.

King:
It's called positive reinforcement, Eda. And it works wonders.

[Prince Jr. eats the treat King was dangling in front of it and doubles in size.]

King:
Ha ha! See? Now watch this. Prince, Jr.! Attack Eda! Knock over her drink! Mess up her hair!

Eda:
[deadpan] Oh, no. Please stop.

King:
Well, I haven't seen your student in forever. For all we know, she's not even loyal to you anymore.

Eda:
Ha-ha-ha, you wish. But yeah. Where is she?

[Cut to Abomination 101.]

Male student:
Hope I pass.

Female student:
I'm confident about this.

[Female student with ram horns stands at the front of the room with an abomination with eight feet sticking out of it in various places.]

Abomination Teacher: Hmm. Too many toenails in unexpected places. Fail. Pathetic!

[The abomination and the student deflate. She wheels her abomination off the platform at the front of the room.]

Abomination Teacher: The biggest abominations are all of you! If the next abomination is a failure, everyone gets extra homework for a month!

[all grumbling]

Male student:
Extra homework? Not again!

Abomination Teacher: [clears throat] And the next one to come up is...

Amity:
Excuse me, sir, but I am ready to present my abomination. Rise!

[It rises from the pot, groaning, and poses.]

Abomination Teacher: [chuckles] I've always saved the best for last, Amity. You'll have to wait your turn. How about... Willow.

Male student:
Not Half‐a‐Witch.

Female student:
Great. Homework for a month.

Luz:
[peeks out of the pot] Don't listen to them, Willow. We can do this.

[Willow gives her a small smile and nods. She wheels her pot to the front of the room and sets it down nervously.]

Willow:
Uh... Abomination, rise.

Luz:
[punches the lid off and jumps out] Ta‐da!

[all gasp]

Willow:
Abomination, bow.

Luz:
[grunts] Blah!

Abomination Teacher: Very impressive. But does it speak?

Luz:
Uh, I may be your abomination, but you're my a‐mom‐ination.

Students:
Aw!

Abomination Teacher: [laughs] "A‐mom‐ination!" Splendid wordplay. A plus!

[students cheer]

[The bell screams, coughs. Students leave the room.]

Abomination Teacher: Wonderful work today, Willow. Looks like we have a new top student.

[Amity, who was leaving the room, gasps and drops her books as she stops. The Abomination Teacher takes her top student badge.]

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