The Owl House Page #3

Season #1 Episode #3: I Was a Teenage Abomination

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Amity:
[growls and reaches for her badge] But...

[The Abomination Teacher pins the badge to Willow's cowl.]

Willow:
Uh‐‐ Thank you, sir.

[He nods and his abomination carries him away. Willow turns to leave, but Amity is standing in front of her.]

Amity:
Hey.

Willow:
[gasps]

Amity:
Last time I saw you, your abomination was mush. What did you do?

Willow:
I, uh, took your pep talk to heart, Amity.

Amity:
I bet you did. I've got my eyes on you, Half‐a‐Witch. That badge is mine. [walks backwards, not breaking eye contact with Willow even as she bumps into another student]

Student:
Hey!

Willow:
[after Amity rounds a corner] Uh‐oh. I think Amity is onto us.

[Cut to the front door of the Owl House, which is slammed open by Eda.]

Hooty:
OW!

Eda:
Have you seen Luz?

Hooty:
I heard her tiny mouse feet walking close by. Or that might've been some mice. Anyway, someone started moving in that direction. [slightly gesturing with his head] Hoo, hoo‐hoo, hoo.

Eda:
Are you trying to point, or--?

Hooty:
Look at the weather vane!

[She does]

Eda:
But the only thing that way is the... [gasps] No. [runs off] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

[She reaches Hexside and looks into various windows. The first is a kindergarten classroom.]

Teacher #1:
Okay, everyone. Recite your runes.

Kids:
Krom, Zix, Elgrim, Zenomide‐‐

Eda:
No. Blind obedience.

[The next classroom has several older students writing at desks while a snake-like teacher speaks.]

Teacher #2:
Heximal system time! Let's get memorizin'!

Eda:
No! Pointless busywork!

[Luz, still covered in abomination goo, is in the last classroom, writing along with the rest of the class.]

Eda:
No! Why! School!

[Cut to the cafeteria, where Luz, back in the pot, is sitting at the end of a table with Willow and Gus.]

Gus:
Hey. Do humans eat PB&J's?

Luz:
Oh my gosh I haven't eaten real food in so long please give me some.

[Gus breaks the PB&J in half and gives Luz one. She takes the whole thing in her mouth and sinks back into the pot.]

Willow:
I don't know, Gus. [grumbles] If Amity saw that...

Amity:
[jumps onto the table] I saw that! Abominations don't eat! I know you're in there! You can't hide from me. What are you? Who are you? I want answers! [grabs Luz by her shirtfront and shakes her violently]

Abomination Teacher: Amity Blight.

Amity:
[stops shaking Luz] Huh?

Abomination Teacher: I suspected a twinge of jealousy, but this, this is just sad.

Amity:
But I‐‐ No! Look at it.

Luz:
[groans as her head falls back]

Abomination Teacher: Report to Principal Bump's office.

Amity:
But‐‐

Abomination Teacher: Now!

[Amity drops Luz and runs off. As the Abomination Teacher leaves, Luz pops back out, sharing a concerned look with Willow.]

[Cut to the outside of the Owl House, where King is tossing handfuls of dog treats to Prince Jr.]

King:
Roll over! Yes! Heel!

[Prince Jr. did neither command, focused only on the treats. He now towers over King.]

King:
Yes, yes!

[Prince Jr. roars]

King:
So, did you find your runaway student? By your expression, I can tell Luz has gone and found herself someplace else to learn. Which means I have won!

[Prince Jr. roars as he catches more treats.]

Eda:
Yes, great, you won.

[King throws a handful of treats to the side. Prince Jr. chases them.]

Eda:
You have a giant soldier thing and I have nothing. Congrats!

King:
Oh, Eda. Don't say that. At least you have this! [He pulls out a shame cone and cackles]

Eda:
Ugh. [snatches it up and stalks off]

King:
[laughing as Eda enters the shack attached to the Owl House] I am so funny! Ah, well, Prince, Jr. training complete. Go forth! Make the world tremble at your feet‐‐ or worm stubs.

[Prince Jr. doesn't move]

King:
Go forth?

[still doesn't move]

King:
Oh. [chuckles] Right.

[He picks up the dog treat box and shakes it, but it's empty. Prince Jr. moves closer, growling.]

King:
Ah!

[Cut to a classroom, where Luz is standing out of the pot.]

Luz:
Whoo! I'm a sweaty little abomination. But now we don't have to worry about Amity. High five!

[Willow and Gus stare at her hand, then share a confused look. Gus shrugs.]

Luz:
[demonstrating] Slap my hand. It's a human thing.

[Gus hesitantly gives her a high five. Then he does it several more times with growing confidence.]

Gus:
Oh. Oh, my. Oh, man, what a rush!

[The classroom door opens, revealing Amity. She smirks and steps aside, allowing Principal Bump to enter the room.]

Principal Bump:
Good afternoon, students.

Willow:
Principal Bump.

[Luz drops, pretending to be an abomination. Principal Bump steps closer to her. Willow and Gus back off as he kneels down, turning her head.]

Principal Bump:
Hmm. Abomination, rise.

[She does, looking nervous.]

Principal Bump:
Abomination, lie.

Luz:
Uh, viral fame is a worthy pursuit. Your cat would never eat you if it got the chance. Chemtrails are real‐‐

Principal Bump:
Oh, no, abomination. How strange for it to get the command wrong. I mean lie down. [points to a desk]

Luz:
[whimpers as she goes to lie down on it]

Principal Bump:
So very lifelike. [approaches the table with Willow] When Miss Blight told me about your abomination, I had to come by, see what she's made of.

Willow:
Oh, I have her list of ingredients right here.

Principal Bump:
No. We were hoping... [pulls a dagger out of his sleeve] for a closer look. Willow, I'll allow you the first cut.

[Willow takes the offered dagger and smiles at him nervously. She steps closer to Luz.]

Willow:
[quietly] Uh, you can't just cut open a human, can you?

Luz:
[shakes her head]

Principal Bump:
Willow, go ahead and make the first incision.

Gus:
Wait, Principal Bump! Uh, high five!

[Gus knocks over three abomination pots. The goo spills together, and the formed abominations stand.]

Gus:
Run!

[Willow and Luz run]

Amity:
They're getting away!

Principal Bump:
No, the intruder won't get far.

[He approaches a wall and traces a large spell circle, then slams the wall in the center of it. Red light forms patterns on the walls and floor, spreading from the spell circle. Cut to Willow and Luz running through the halls, both panting as they stop at a corner.]

Luz:
This is all my fault, Willow. I just wanted to see what a real magic school was like.

Willow:
Well, how do you like it?

Luz:
It's lovely, actually.

[both giggle]

Willow:
Okay, we should get out of here before‐‐

[The red light patterns converge on the walls. When they reach a doorway, a red shield blocks it off. Several more doorways are blocked off, the patterns taking over the school.]

Willow:
...Bump seals us in.

[Cut to the inside of the Owl House's shack, where Eda is sulking in the shame hat. She looks up at King's voice.]

King:
Help me, help me, help me!

[He runs in and slams the door, then dives into Eda's arms, whimpering. The door shudders under Prince Jr.'s attacks.]

Eda:
[smirking] Trouble with your student?

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