The Owl House Page #4

Season #1 Episode #8: Once Upon a Swap

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[Cut to a hallway, where Emperor's Coven guards are drinking water. A shadow passes over them.]

Guard #3:
[gasps] Is it really her?

Guard #4:
Oh, no. This is not good.

Guard #1:
Hey, you gotta take that thing out before someone sees you.

Guard #2:
I like it. Calms the nerves.

[Lilith's reflection appears in the one-way mirror.]

Guard #2:
Hmm? [spits out the pacifier] Uh...

Guard #1:
Madame Lilith, to what do we owe this honor?

Lilith:
Word reached me that you captured my sister. I'll take it from here.

Guard #1:
But Madame, she's going straight to the Conformatorium. I have the order right here.

[He pulls out a piece of paper, which burns in a blue fire.]

Lilith:
The orders have changed.

Luz:
Look, guys, you got the wrong Eda.

Lilith:
Hello, Edalyn.

Luz:
Oh, thank goodness! A familiar face. You're Eda's sister, right? Is it Libby? No. Limby...

Lilith:
Your show of affection is touching. Do you know why you're here?

Luz:
Well, as I was telling the guard, this is just a classic Freaky Fraturday mix‐up.

Lilith:
Sister, [unfurls a lengthy scroll] the charges against you are long and many. Operating a stand without a permit, owning a hocus without a pocus...

Luz:
Yeah, I think that list goes on for a while.

Lilith:
These charges are serious. There's no more running away, Edalyn.

Luz:
I know. I can't just "poof" my problems away.

Lilith:
[in a lighter tone, holding Luz's shoulders] But we can. You getting caught was clearly a cry for help. Join the Emperor's Coven, like we dreamed about when we were girls.

Luz:
Eda wanted to be in the Emperor's Coven?

Lilith:
Don't be afraid, sister. Soon, you won't be a danger to those around you. Bring out the branding glove.

[She summons rings of light that secure Luz to the chair.]

Luz:
The what now?

[A guard puts on a glove with the logo of the Emperor's Coven on the palm. The logo glows red. He tosses the table aside and cracks his knuckles.]

Luz:
Wait, you're making a mistake! [draws a large spell circle] I'm not a danger to anyone! [realizes what she did] Uh‐oh.

[A wall of the precinct explodes.]

Luz:
[coughs] Owlbert, come to me!

Owlbert:
[hoots, flies through the gate]

Luz:
Huh? Ah! [grunts as Owlbert hits her face; stands] Sorry, buddy. [frees Owlbert] Eda's life is more complicated than I thought.

[Luz runs through the hole in the wall. Lilith stands, her hair mussed.]

Lilith:
[growls]

Luz:
[running] Okay, if I were Eda and Eda is King, where would I be? Ah! This thing's so confusing.

Lilith:
After her!

[Luz walks backwards, looking at Lilith and the guards. Knocking at a window makes her face forward. She's at the kitty café.]

Eda:
Luz! Bring my dang body over here.

Luz:
Eda!

Roselle:
Oh, look, Dottie. It's not kidnapping if they entered our store. Just think of it as good customer service.

[Outside, Luz draws a spell circle. The lamp next to the women grows legs and several other lamp heads. Luz enters.]

Roselle:
Why did our lamp get unnecessarily extravagant?

[The women turn and see Eda helping King through the hole. Everyone makes eye contact.]

Luz & King:
[gasp]

Eda:
Hi.

Luz:
Go, go, go!

[They all run.]

Roselle:
[gasps] After them!

Dottie:
[shrieks and holds up a net]

[Luz, King, and Eda arrive on main street.]

Luz:
What weird stuff did you get my body into?

Lilith:
There she is.

Dog:
[barking]

Eda:
I got the same question.

[Boscha, Skara, Amelia, and the Oracle student fly in on their boots.]

King:
Dang! I forgot about them.

Eda:
All right. Did everybody learn a valuable lesson about experiencing each other's hardships?

King & Luz:
Yep.

Eda:
Good, let's end this nightmare. [takes her staff] Body swap!

[Everyone returns to their own bodies. Eda is still wearing the bee costume, though it immediately rips off. King is still in the volunteer shirt and Luz takes off the oven mitts.

King:
My body! My glorious little body!

Lilith:
Sister. Time and again I've offered you my help, yet you foolishly run back to your worthless life. I'm tired of trying, Edalyn. Your days of running are over!

Eda:
Thanks, Luz.

Luz:
Sorry.

Eda:
Don't worry, I got this. Body swap!

[She spins her staff and directs the beam at everyone while Luz and King duck.

Lilith:
[as the dog, barking] Eda, you rotten sister! Switch me back! Ah! [barks]

Guard #1:
[in Roselle's body] What's happening? Who the heck are you?

Guard #2:
[in Dottie's body] I'm a Coven guard, wise mouth.

Guard #1:
No, you're not. I am!

Roselle:
[in the Oracle student's body] You get outta my body, you galoot!

Guard #2:
Fight! Ow. My knees.

Someone in Boscha's body: Hey! Ow!

Someone in the body of a guard: This is your fault. Let go! My arm! Ow!

Guard #1:
[screaming]

[General mayhem ensues.]

King:
Are they gonna be okay?

Eda:
Eh?

Luz:
Eda, I just wanna say that things can be more complicated than you think. But with you guys, it all feels a little less mixed up.

Eda:
Aw, that's sweet, kid. Now, let's never speak of this again.

[Owlbert hoots as he unfurls his wings. Everyone who was body swapped clamors as Eda, Luz, and King fly off.]

Dog:
[in Lilith's body] [howls]

[Cut to Eda, Luz, and King flying in front of the moon.]

Luz:
So, wait. Who is going to clean Hooty? It's getting... dire.

[Cut to the Owl House, where Hooty is even dirtier than before.]

Hooty:
Guys? Today's my monthly cleaning. Hoot, hoot. I'm 20% mucus, but don't let that stop you. C'mon, I have so many hard‐to‐reach spots that need swabbing!

[Cut back to the three flying.]

Luz:
Maybe if we all work together we could‐‐

Eda & King:
Not it.

Luz:
Aw, man.

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