The Owl House Page #2

Season #1 Episode #9: Something Ventured, Someone Framed

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[insects buzzing]

Hooty:
I chew insects. I turn them into mush.

Eda:
But that's my beef. Does she need to draw her own conclusions?

Hooty:
My beef is insects. They're what I eat.

Eda:
You're just gonna be unhelpful, huh?

Hooty:
All I know is, you taught me and I turned out just fine.

[He sticks out his tongue in an attempt to get the fly walking next to his head, making a gagging sound. Eda watches in concern.]

Eda:
I gotta get that girl into school.

[Cut to the hallways of Hexside. A Beast Keeping witch's backpack flies off of him.]

Student #1:
Whoa! [grunting] Hey! Give that back!

Student #2 & Student #3: [laughing, floating the backpack between them]

Student #2:
Huh? Whoa! [straining]

[He's dragged away by a hook to the school guards.]

School Guard:
[sniffing] Trouble.

[The first student's backpack falls to the ground as the third backs away nervously. He is also caught by a hook.]

Student #3:
Huh? [grunts] No! Detention!

Student #2:
[being dragged away] The only thing I'm guilty of is being too real!

Luz:
That's new.

Gus:
Well, they kinda showed up after your last visit. They smell trouble. Literally.

School Guard:
Trouble.

Gus:
[chuckles] Okay, time to run for no particular reason.

[Gus runs into Mattholomule. All of Luz's wanted posters and his president crown fall out of his bag.]

Gus:
[gasps, grunts as he collects the posters]

Mattholomule:
Augustus, you should really watch where you going. Don't want the president of the H. A. S. getting hurt on his last day in office. [picks up and dusts off the crown; looks at Luz] This must be your human. Hmm. Looks like another witchling to me.

Gus:
Psst. Psst! [pulls his ears] Dazzle.

Luz:
Oh. [trumpets, pulls the hood down] Ta‐da!

Mattholomule:
[gasps] A human!

Gus:
Not just any human. An expert human.

Luz:
Yeah. I've been doing this for years.

Gus:
She's here to authenticate your treasures. [takes his crown back, walks past Mattholomule] See you at the meeting.

Mattholomule:
Oh, no, no, no, no! [sinks to the floor] They can't know I lied. Then they'll never make me president. Huh? [picks up one of the wanted posters Gus didn't; laughs] Ooh, Gus, I have you now.

[Cut to outside of Hexside, where Eda is staring up at the building as wind howls.]

Eda:
Ugh. I had this nightmare before.

[She walks inside. Cut to a hallway.]

Gus:
As president of the H. A. S., I should feel bad about dunking on one of our own members. But as a Gus I feel like doing this: [dances] ♪ Oh, oh, yeah ♪ ♪ Oh, yeah, what, oh ♪

[Luz walks over to a trophy case.]

Luz:
Wow! Who got the trophy for the most bones?

School Guard:
[sniffs]

[Gus runs in and drags Luz away.]

Luz:
Whoa!

Gus:
We don't have time for this right now. We gotta get to the clubroom.

Luz:
Okay. But next time you have to give me a full tour.

Gus:
Yeah, next time. [laughs]

[They stop when they see the abomination professor.]

Luz:
Ooh. It's the abomination professor. I should introduce myself. Apologize for the incident. Hey, Mr. Abomination Professor. The "abominominator." Remember me? [roars]

[He narrows his eyes at her.]

Gus:
Oh, wouldn't you know? We suddenly have time for a full tour of Hexside.

[Gus pushes Luz away. Cut to Principal Bump's office, where Eda takes a pencil out of a mug.]

Eda:
Been quite a while since I've sat here, huh?

[She puts the pencil on her top lip and reclines in the chair, crossing her feet next to Principal Bump's name plate. He stares at her shoes.]

Eda:
I gotta admit it's extra weird without you yelling at me for picking fights or stealing.

Principal Bump:
I can easily change that. [magically shoves Eda over]

Eda:
[grunts] Ow!

Principal Bump:
[moves his name plate back] What are you doing here, Edalyn?

Eda:
[sits up; inhales as she fixes her hair] I want to‐‐ Prft! I want to enroll my human, Luz, at Hexside. And before you get all judgy‐‐

Principal Bump:
That's not a bad idea.

Eda:
You no-good‐‐ Wait, really?

Principal Bump:
[walks over to a file cabinet] I think the student body could learn a lot from having such an exchange student.

[Eda grins.]

Principal Bump:
But before I even consider that, there's a lot to be answered for.

[Eda reclines on the desk again. Principal Bump magically turns her upside down without looking. He pulls a stack of files out of the cabinet.]

Eda:
Oh right. Yeah. [rights herself] I heard all about that abomination incident.

Principal Bump:
Oh, I'm not talking about Luz. I'm talking about the necrotic experiments, the graffiti, the scams, the cheating, Miss Jenkinmeyer's teeth.

[Eda sinks down in the chair.]

Principal Bump:
The trouble you caused when you were here, Eda.

[He drops the pile of paper and books onto the desk. Eda looks at the page on top, which reads, "PERMANENT RECORD --~-- EDALYN CLAWTHORNE"]

Eda:
Huh. I thought there'd be more.

[Cut to the Grudgby pitch, which has basketball hoops on either side. Skara is on the pitch while Gus and Luz are in the stands.]

Gus:
This is where we play the sport.

[Skara runs at the ball, but is picked up by a griffin.]

Skara:
[screaming]

Griffin:
[screeching]

Skara:
I hate this game! [screams]

[The griffin drops her into one of the basketball hoops. A horn blares. Gus and Luz applaud.]

School Guard:
[sniffing]

[Gus sees the guard and drags Luz away. Cut to the two of them walking past a door, Luz doubling back to look through the window.]

Luz:
Ooh. What's in here?

Gus:
The Plant Homeroom.

[Various students in Plant uniforms are tending to the greenery. A carnivorous plant eats Amelia, who had been standing next to it with a clipboard. Willow runs over and tickles the plant's stem. It laughs and spits Amelia back up. She gives Willow a thumbs-up.]

Luz:
Willow, hey.

[Willow turns around and waves at Luz. Gus looks through the window.]

Gus:
Hi.

[Willow's face falls. She shakes her head.]

Gus:
Bye.

[Gus drags Luz away again. Cut to a room full of mirrors.]

Gus:
And this is where I spend my time. The Illusion Track Homeroom.

[The professor evaluates three students' illusions. Emira doubles the length of her legs. Edric changes his face, outfit, and hair style. The third student is shaking as they draw their spell circle and accidentally remove their facial features.]

Illusion Student: [mumbling]

[The professor draws a spell circle and their face returns.]

Illusion Student: [inhales deeply]

Luz:
Wait, if you're here, who is that?

[She points across the hall, where another Gus is sitting in a class.]

Gus:
That's one of my illusions. Takes notes for me when I'm not around.

[His illusion gasps and holds up a paper reading "I'm not paying attention." He laughs as he points to it.]

Gus:
He doesn't always do what he's told.

Luz:
Wow, Gus. You're good.

Gus:
Yeah. I moved up a couple grades.

[Gus's watch screams again.]

Gus:
Oh! Time for the H. A. S. meeting.

[Luz and Gus run off. Gus's illusion watches them, growing nervous when Gus returns. He mimes decapitation and casually walks away. The illision starts paying attention to class.]

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