The Owl House Page #3

Season #1 Episode #9: Something Ventured, Someone Framed

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[Cut to the H.A.S. room.]

All:
[banging on the table] Human, human! Human, human!

Gus:
Human Appreciation Society... [twangs the paper clip] ...it is my distinct pleasure to introduce to you...

[Luz moonwalks into the doorway, spinning around and almost falling.]

Luz:
Oh! [recovers, takes the hood off]

Gus:
Luz, the human.

Eileen:
[squeals]

Bo:
Such showmanship.

Boy:
She's horrifying.

[Luz and Gus approach the desk. Mattholomule grows nervous.]

Gus:
Luz, will you inspect the items?

Luz:
Of course, Mr. President. Allow me to determine if they're truly of my realm's origin. [reaches for the "shoe"]

Mattholomule:
Stop!

[He knocks his fakes off the table with a grunt. Everyone else gasps.]

Mattholomule:
Don't make another move, human! [jumps onto the table; calms down] I... have something to say. I'm new here at Hexside. M‐Making friends has been hard so I lied. They're all fakes.

Bo:
[gasps]

Mattholomule:
I thought if I was important enough people would like me. But I've caused enough drama.

[Luz and Gus share a look.]

Mattholomule:
So, I'll go. I'm sorry.

Luz:
Hey, man. It's okay. You're only human. Well, you know what I mean.

Gus:
Mattholomule, you aren't alone. You have a place here in the H. A. S.

Boy:
You're not alone.

Bo:
We admire your honesty.

Boy:
You're one of us.

Mattholomule:
Thanks, guys. I knew you'd understand.

[Cut to a hallway.]

Eda:
[grunts] I don't wanna do this!

Principal Bump:
There's the whiny rebel teen I remember. You'll need this [hands her a mop] to clean up all the hexed graffiti you left us. Good luck. [leaves]

Eda:
Meh!

[Eda puts the mop in the bucket and attempts to wipe away graffiti on lockers that reads "EDA RULES BUMP EATS STINK." The graffiti avoids the mop. She tries again, it moves again. She tries slower, it moves slower. She tries to wipe the entire row of lockers, only succeeding in making all the graffiti combine and now read, "MOTHER NOOOO!!!" She slams at that, and it moves again]

Eda:
[groans]

[Cut to the H.A.S. room as half of them leave, waving to Luz, who waves back.]

Bo:
Thanks for coming.

Boy:
Come back soon.

Eileen:
[muffled] Thank you. [unintelligible muttering]

Mattholomule:
Hey, Augustus, Luz, thank you for being so forgiving.

Luz:
We've all been the new kid before. Right, Gus?

Gus:
Yeah.

Mattholomule:
Well, I just have one thing to say...

[Door bangs open, school guards step in.]

Mattholomule:
[points at Luz] There she is! [pulls out Luz's wanted poster] She's the intruder!

School Guard:
[sniffing] Trouble.

Luz:
No, it's fine. The ban's been lifted. Tell 'em, Gus. [screams as she's dragged away] Gus! Tell them!

Mattholomule:
Oh, who's the liar now, Augustus?

[Cut to the Plant homeroom, where Willow is watering the carnivorous plant.]

Willow:
Maybe I've been too hard on Gus. I mean, what trouble could they get into?

Luz:
Help!

Carnivorous Plant: Huh?

[The plant and Willow turn to the door. Through the window, they can see Luz being dragged off.]

Luz:
[screams] I don't even learn here!

Willow:
Luz!

[Cut to the hallway.]

Luz:
Where are you taking me?

School Guard:
Detention.

Luz:
Oh. That won't be so bad, right?

[They stop in front of a giant door with three closed eyes. The eyes open, red and yellow, and the bottom of the door lifts up to reveal a mouth filled with sharp teeth.]

Luz:
[screams]

[Cut to the H.A.S. room, where Gus is shaking with anger.]

Mattholomule:
I can't believe you two fell for that. Like I'd actually apologize.

Gus:
What. Did you. Do?

Mattholomule:
[mockingly] Ah, boo‐hoo. I'm sorry. "I am the new kid." "I want friends." [normal] Ha! No. I want power. And I want drama. And I got one of those right now. So, what are you gonna do, Mr. President?

Gus:
[prepares to punch him] Executive action. [grabs the bell's tongue]

Bell:
Ow! [screams, rings]

[Water is launched from the bell and soaks Gus and Mattholomule. Cut to the two of them being dragged away by a school guard.]

Mattholomule:
But I didn't pull the alarm! It was Augustus! Are you even listening to me? I demand justice!

[Willow peeks around a corner as they pass. Cut to the door to detention growling and opening its mouth again as Gus and Mattholomule are thrown inside.

Gus & Mattholomule: [grunt]

Mattholomule:
Wait!

[Door growls and closes.]

Mattholomule:
[bangs on the door] Get me outta here! Open up!

Gus:
Luz!

Luz:
[hiding behind a rock] Gus! You said the ban was lifted!

Gus:
Well, I‐‐

[He tries to stand, but the ground cracks open at his feet. The crack widens until nearly the whole room is a hole, revealing teeth, eyes, and blue tendrils and pods, inside of which are students.]

Luz:
[screams]

[Cut to the cafeteria as the doors open and a cloud of fog rolls in. Eda enters, ghosts falling onto the floor behind her. She dumps a writing bag at Principal Bump's feet.]

Eda:
[strains] There. The girls' changing room is ghost‐free.

Principal Bump:
Are you ready to give up? [takes a ghost out of Eda's hair] You've barely scratched the surface.

Eda:
[growls]

[She turns and sees Bo helping Skara with a spell.]

Bo:
No, like this.

[Bo summons a ball of fire, which turns into a snowball that splats onto the table.]

Skara:
[gasps] Oh. [does the same] Wow.

[They hug.]

Skara:
Friendship is the real magic.

Eda:
They're just as bad as Luz. She'd love it here. [turns back to Principal Bump] All right. What's next, Bumpikins?

Principal Bump:
[grins and holds up a plunger]

Eda:
[groans]

[Cut to detention.]

Luz:
How is this detention? This is a death sentence!

Gus:
I don't know! I've never been in detention before!

Mattholomule:
Welcome to my world. Believe it or not, at my old school I was in detention plenty of times.

Luz:
That isn't hard to believe. You're kind of a jerk.

Mattholomule:
Well, down in detention, this jerk is king. So, if you wanna get out, you better do exactly what I say. [walks forward] But first, before anything else, we gotta‐‐ [yelps]

[A snake rises out of the hole. It wraps a blue tendril around Mattholomule's ankle.]

Mattholomule:
[grunts] Already? [screams as he's dragged down]

Luz:
Mattholomule! [to Gus] You lied to me. You lied about the ban! Why?

Gus:
I was afraid. I acted stupid.

Luz:
Yes, you did!

Gus:
Being younger than everyone is hard. [makes his way over to Luz] You're overlooked. Ignored. But at the H. A. S. I mattered. I could make sure no one would ever get left behind. I didn't wanna lose that. I'm sorry.

Luz:
[puts a hand on his shoulder] I get it. I just wish you told me the truth.

[Gus smiles at her. Snakes hiss, several of them slithering up the hole.]

Gus:
Let me make it up to you, Luz. I've got a plan.

[A snake hisses as it rises out of the hole.]

Luz:
[yelps] Ya! [kicks it] I'm in. Where do we start?

Gus:
[grabs her hand] By leaving no one behind. [grunts and jumps in the hole]

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