The Pacifier Page #11

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SHANE:

Those people aren’t your friends. They

show no respect for you or your house.

Because you have no respect for yourself.

ZOE:

I do too respect myself.

Queasy, she pukes again. Shane hands her a handkerchief.

SHANE:

You got barf on your tank top.

(Announces:
) Company, downstairs!

He walks down the hall, pounding on doors.

.

ZOE:

You’re not my dad!

Shane stops. Lulu and Todd step into the hall. Zoe gets

up, shaky and furious, and screams in Shane’s face.

ZOE (CONT’D)

We hate you, you hate us. You’re like a

robot. Why don’t you just leave us alone?

Silence. Lulu’s crying, Todd picks her up. Shane stands,

helpless. After a beat...

55.

SHANE:

You’re right, Red 1. I’m not the man for

this job.

LULU:

Shane --!

SHANE:

In all my years I have never been treated

with such disrespect. Not even from the

enemy. Don’t worry, as soon as your mom

comes back, I’m gone.

Suddenly -- the power goes out.

SHANE (CONT’D)

Now what?

ZOE:

(sighs, tired) It’s Scott...

SHANE:

Puberty... talking doesn’t do any good.

Go to your rooms.

Suddenly, TWO NINJAS, all in black BURST in through the

window. Shane spins in fight-stance.

SHANE (CONT’D)

(to the kids:
)

Go!

Terrified, Zoe and Todd scoop up the kids and rush down

the hall.

The Ninjas pull a retractable KENDO STAFFS. Wielding them

with great skill. It takes all of Shane’s skill to fend

them off -- the three fight, close-quarters and fast.

Until Shane pulls down attic’s spring-loaded FOLDING

LADDER and clocks a Ninja with it. He goes down, but

Shane is SHOCKED from behind by the other NINJA. The

Ninjas attack, fiercely -- they’re good. Their Kendo

staffs hiss with a powerful ELECTRIC CURRENT. The Ninjas

knock Shane backwards down the stairs...

.

NINJA:

GHOST -- hand it over!

They leap down after him, pounding him with their staffs,

knocking him into...

56.

INT. PLAYROOM - CONTINUOUS

There are TOYS EVERYWHERE -- like a tornado hit a TOYS-RUS.

Shane fends the Ninjas off. He spots a BASEBALL BAT,

and grabs it, facing them, fiercely. They step back...

SHANE:

Okay -- who wants some?

Shane swings the bat down on a Ninja’s head: It’s a

whiffle bat, it makes a silly thunk. Shane and the Ninja

share a surprised look -- then the Ninjas charge. Shane

fends them off with his Whiffle bat. With his foot, he

picks up a FISHER PRICE CORN-POPPER, and uses them both

to fend off blows. It rattles and pops as he fights with

both Toys -- until a Ninja breaks them with one blow.

Shane sees a FARMER JOHN TALKING GAME. He jumps up onto a

shelf and grabs it. He pulls the string, and swings the

plastic disk like a deadly bolo.

FARMER JOHN GAME

The rooster goes...

WHACK, he hits a Ninja in the head. He swings the Farmer

John like a bull whip -- until a Ninja knocks the shelf

over. Shane crashes down, toys fly, several FURBIES hit

the floor. They echo the fight:

FURBIES:

Ow! Ow!

Shane sees:
The Ninjas are wearing only Ninja socks -- no

shoes. He grabs a barrel of LEGOS, and flings them all

over the floor. The Ninjas move towards him -- the Legos

and Jacks dig into their feet.

NINJA/FURBIES

Ow! Ow ow! Crap!

The Ninjas fight as they hobble around, avoiding Legos,

Shane runs to the changing table, then violently squeezes

DESITIN at a NINJA, blinding him.

Shane hangs in the doorway and swings at them, KICKING a

Ninja in the chest. The Ninja CRASHES through the window!

The other Ninja looks up, fearful. Suddenly he grabs a

bottle of BABY POWDER. He sprays it in Shane’s face...

POOF! The room fills with a CLOUD OF WHITE.

ANGLE - SHANE

57.

He squints, blinded. The cloud dissipates... and Shane

sees he’s now alone.

He runs to the broken window.

OUTSIDE:

The Ninja’s are long gone. Shane bangs the window sill,

disappointed to have lost them.

INT. HALLWAY - SECONDS LATER

Composing himself, Shane approaches Zoe’s door. He

quietly knocks.

SHANE:

Kids. It’s safe. You can open up.

A long pause -- then the door creaks open. The kids run

out and hug Shane with all their strength, bawling. Todd

and Zoe enter, terrified. Shane isn’t sure what to do...

Then, he hugs Peter and Lulu. He really hugs them.

LULU:

Please don’t leave us Shane.

SHANE:

I’m not going anywhere.

He hugs them, even Zoe is crying and hugging Shane.

ZOE:

I’m sorry for giving you a hard time.

SHANE:

Shhh... It’s okay.

TODD:

Who were they? What did they want...?

SHANE:

They’re looking for a program, that your

father invented.

ZOE:

So Mom’s not paranoid? There really are

people out to get us.

He takes out the CD labeled GHOST.

SHANE:

They’re not after you. They want this.

But nothing’s gonna happen to you, as

long as I’m here. And I’m not going

anywhere.

58.

The kids shudder, relieved. They hug him tighter. He

looks Zoe, eye to eye. He dries her tears:

.

SHANE (CONT’D)

But I can’t do this without your help,

okay? We need a little more cooperation

here. (the Kids nod) Tell you what --

let’s start over. From now on, you listen

to me, and do what I say. (to Zoe and

Todd:
) And I... I’ll listen to you too.

Deal? Truce -- okay?

Zoe and Todd nod. Shane offers his hand to shake. They

shake -- then they hug him, too.

INT. LIVING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Shane and the Kids sit around Shane’s computer. Shane

slips the Ghost CD in the disc drive, pushes play -

SHANE:

C’mon c’mon c’mon...

CLOSE-UP - COMPUTER MONITOR

The SOUND comes on: it’s MUSIC. “Unchained Melody.” And

then, PICTURE:
Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze at a pottery

wheel. Shane is furious -- a long pause. Then...

Zoe laughs:
she can’t help it, it’s been a long night.

Then, the other kids join in. Soon, even Shane is

laughing too:
the telephone RINGS -- they all jump,

startled. Zoe answers it, all smiles, she tries to play

it cool and not frighten her mother:

ZOE:

Hey mom we’re fine, absolutely nothing

happened you should worry about. Nope.

Shane takes the phone.

.

SHANE:

Mrs. Plummer... two men tried to get into

the house tonight.

WE INTERCUT:

INT. HOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS

JULIE:

Oh my god!

59.

SHANE:

No - it’s okay. They’re gone, everyone’s

fine. They were looking for GHOST, but

they didn’t find it. You have any luck?

JULIE:

Well, yes and no. We found something in

the box... But we’re not sure what it is.

Bill thinks it’s part of the GHOST. It

looks like some kind of “key”. We just

don’t know what its for.

She holds up the strange, metal two pronged KEY.

JULIE (CONT’D)

The good news is I’ll be home in two

days, as soon as the customs paperwork

clears.

SHANE:

(very genuine)

...So soon? We were just starting to have

fun. Don’t worry -- we’ll be just fine.

EXT. SCHOOL - MORNING

Early morning, students run in to school. The minivan

pulls up, and Shane emerges with the five kids.

SHANE:

I gotta warn you guys: From now on, I’m

gonna be sticking even closer.

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