The Pacifier Page #12

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INT. LULU’S CLASSROOM - DAY

The TEACHER shows the children how to dye Easter eggs.

ANGLE on Lulu, making a mess of an egg. She smiles.

ANGLE on Shane, squashed at a little desk. He dips an

egg in some purple dye.

.

EXT. SCHOOL PARKING LOT - DAY

Driver’s Ed. An obstacle course with cones. Zoe

nervously drives a small sedan, a crazed TEACHER next to

her. He is gesticulating, SCREAMING, reacting each time

she HITS the gas, then BRAKES, HITS the gas, then BRAKES.

Shane stands off to the side, shaking his head. Peter

and Tyler are tight in their Snuggles.

60.

INT. LULU’S CLASSROOM - LATER

The TEACHER hangs a series of cute “Turkey Hand” drawings

above the blackboard (the kind where your fingers make

the feathers). She hangs one of a HUGE HAND, and smiles

at Shane, who sits in the back, sunglasses on. Shane

nods, “yeah, I know it’s good.” Then...

VOICE (OVER THE PA:)

Will Shane Wolfe please report to Vice

Principal Murney in the gym.

Lulu’s classmates all chant, in unison:

SECOND GRADERS:

Ooooooooh! (You’re in trouble!)

INT. THE GYM - MOMENTS LATER

Shane enters. Zoe sits in a folding chair, mortified. She

is holding a broken-off SIDE VIEW MIRROR. Murney stands,

Principal Claire next to him. They look concerned.

SHANE:

Don’t worry. So, she wrecked a driver’s

Ed. car -- she’ll pay for the damage...

MURNEY:

That? Lady drivers, what do you expect.

No, it’s not that -- it’s the boy...

SHANE:

Red two? I mean Todd?

Claire nods. Shane gives Zoe a look. Zoe shrugs.

PRINCIPAL CLAIRE

Ordinarily I would wait for his mother to

return... but -- I’m a bit concerned, and

I’m not sure what to do...

SHANE:

Has he been skipping class?

PRINCIPAL CLAIRE

Well -- yes. He does always miss sixth

period. But this...

Murney calls into the hallway. Todd enters. Shane stops,

in shock:
Todd’s long hair is all shaved off, he now has

a bleach blonde BUZZ CUT, giving him a “skinhead” look.

61.

MURNEY:

This is how he showed up to practice. And

that’s not all. I was doing a little re-

con in his locker... and I found this:

Murney hands Shane a book and Shane flips through it.

It’s a book of photographs of NAZI UNIFORMS. Shane

scowls.

MURNEY (CONT’D)

If he’d had Hustler or something, boys

will be boys -- but this is just sick.

SHANE:

He’s not a NAZI.

PRINCIPAL CLAIRE

It’s certainly not normal.

(pulls Shane aside.)

See if you can talk to the boy. Find out

what’s going on.

Shane shakes his head: Todd is worse than he thought.

Todd and Zoe stand to go, and Shane walks them out.

The WRESTLING TEAM is assembled, stretching. They snicker

and shake their heads at Todd, as he passes. Shane walks

the kids out, and Murney chases after him.

.

MURNEY:

I hope you won’t go light on him -- that

whole family’s no good, if you ask me.

SHANE:

I’ll talk to him.

MURNEY:

You’re a good man, Shane. Bet you’re a

hell of a fighter on the mats, huh?

(Shane ignores him, and keeps

walking.)

Maybe sometime we oughta strap up, we’ll

give these boys a treat.

He “fake-punches” one of his Boys -- who flinches like

Murney has maybe hurt him a couple times. Murney laughs.

SHANE:

Another time, maybe...

MURNEY:

It’s a date then. I’ll show you a couple

moves. I promise I won’t hurt you.

62.

Shane walks away. Without warning, Murney lets out a Kung

Fu SCREAM, and leaps at Shane, kicking him in the BACK,

Shane trips forwards to his knees. Murney tells his team:

MURNEY (CONT’D)

See that? You never know when your

adversary is going to strike!

SHANE:

Did you kick me in the back? Is there a

footprint on my jacket?

Shane dusts off his back, and leaves.

MURNEY:

Come on Frogman! Don’t be a sissy!

Shane turns back. It looks like Shane might fight, but

instead he takes a deep breath, and leaves. Murney shakes

his head, and snickers to his Team.

EXT. PLUMMER HOUSE - A LITTLE LATER

The minivan pulls up, with Shane and all the Plummers

piled in. Shane parks, Todd runs towards the house. Shane

holds Todd back by the arm.

.

SHANE:

Wait Todd, I want to talk to you...

Todd yanks his arm away and runs into the house.

INT. TODD’S ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Shane knocks on Todd’s door. Nothing. He enters. The

window is wide open, Shane checks his window alarm --

there’s a REFRIGERATOR MAGNET stuck to it, keeping the

contact, so the alarm didn’t go off.

SHANE:

Smart kid.

Shane looks out the window -- far down the block, he can

see Todd, running around the corner. Shane hops out the

window. He sees Zoe, peering out her window.

SHANE (CONT’D)

Zoe, you’re in charge. If anyone gets

within forty clicks of the perimeter,

signal me. Keep all doors sealed, do your

homework, preheat the oven, and make sure

Lulu brushes her teeth!

63.

He starts to shut the window, but the Duck leaps up on

the sill.

SHANE (CONT’D)

You want in or out?

The Duck leaps out. Shane screws the window shut. On the

corner, Shane sees Todd climbing on to a CITY BUS.

Shane picks a GIRL’S BICYCLE up off the front lawn. It’s

pink, with a flowered basket. It’s small for him, but he

hops on and pedals furiously after the bus.

EXT. CITY STREET NIGHT - MOMENTS LATER

.

Shane, on the girl-bike, pedals after the bus. A few

HOMEBOYS watch him pass, curiously. He nods back, tough.

EXT. OLD WAREHOUSE - DOWNTOWN D.C. - NIGHT - LATER

The bus stops in a rundown neighborhood Todd hops off the

bus. Shane’s arrives a moment later, dripping sweat. He

stashes the bike behind a mailbox...

Shane’S P.O.V.: At the entrance to the old warehouse,

Todd meets up with three other TEENAGE BOYS, they’re

dressed in brown HITLER YOUTH UNIFORMS, they head inside.

Shane follows them, stealthily.

INT. OLD WAREHOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Shane follows the Hitler Youth into a large room, set up

with folding chairs. He hides in a dark corner. Todd and

the Hitler Youth enter, and take seats. A CREEPY MAN in

a scarf walks out, and stands in front of them. Shane

watches as the MAN addresses the Hitler Youth.

MAN:

Alright. All my Nazis are finally here.

Okay, I want all of you at attention.

The Nazis stand at attention. Shane is horrified...

MAN (CONT’D)

And on stage left - (he yells) VON

TRAPPS! I need my Von Trapps!

Shane watches... as a group of blonde ACTORS, all dressed

in lederhosen as the SINGING VON TRAPP family enter, and

join the “Nazis.” There’s also a few NUNS, a CAPTAIN VON

TRAPP, and a MARIA. The Creepy Man is, in fact, a good

natured, slightly foppish DIRECTOR.

.

64.

DIRECTOR:

Okeydokey. Starting from where we left

off Gimme Rolf and Liesl -- let’s give

You are Sixteen a run up der flagpole...

Todd heads up to the stage, the Director arranges him and

the ACTRESS PLAYING LIESL (40ish) into position. An

ACCOMPANIST begins on piano, Todd sings, remarkably well:

TODD:

You wait little girl, on an empty

stage/for fate to turn the light on/your

life little girl, is an empty page/that

men will want to write on...

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