The Pacifier Page #14

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SHANE:

Today you drive.

70.

The Kids sit bolt upright. They turn to Zoe, terrified.

She gets out in shock, and gets in the driver’s seat. The

other Kid’s seat belts CLICK loudly.

ZOE:

But -- I can’t even pass driver’s Ed.

SHANE:

Exactly.

ZOE:

Have you given a driving lesson before?

SHANE:

Not in a car, no... but it’s a lot like

a Bradley Assault Vehicle.

TODD:

Especially when Zoe’s driving.

The Kids share a dubious look. Zoe backs jerkily out.

INT. MINIVAN - CONTINUOUS

Zoe is super-tense as they drive. Shane is nervous, but

trying not to show it. Lulu and Todd are terrified.

SHANE:

Do you know what causes most accidents?

Attention span. The most important thing

is that you keep an absolute focus on...

Zoe’s looking RIGHT at him, not the road.

SHANE (CONT’D)

THE ROAD! Don’t look at me...

ZOE:

What?!?

The Minivan brakes abruptly at a red light, just as a

semi SCREAMS through the intersection. Shane is shaky.

ZOE (CONT’D)

You wanna drive?

SHANE:

No. Keep going. I trust you.

Zoe is surprised. Touched. She pulls out, jerkily.

71.

EXT. BETHESDA K-12 SCHOOL - LATER

Zoe pulls to the curb, almost tapping a bus’s rear

fender. Shane unclenches his teeth.

SHANE:

Good. Next lesson, 1500 hours.

Zoe smiles. And the other Kids all bolt from the car,

terrified. Lulu makes a big show of kissing the ground.

ZOE:

Ha ha ha. Very funny.

They head into the school. Shane spots something.

ANOTHER ANGLE reveals: SCOTT (Zoe’s boyfriend), with a

few FRIENDS, laughing, being obnoxious. Shane jumps out

of the car. Before Scott knows what’s happened, Shane’s

LIFTED him in the air by his backpack. Scott’s terrified.

SHANE:

I know 437 ways to hurt a man without

touching him. Broken promises lead to

broken legs. Do we understand each other?

Scott nods, trembling. Shane lets him down and heads into

school.

INT. BETHESDA K-12 SCHOOL, CAFETERIA - LUNCHTIME

Shane (Peter in lap, Tyler in snuggle) keeps an eye on

the Kids at their tables. KIDS boisterously run past.

Suddenly -- Claire BARKS out.

PRINCIPAL CLAIRE

CHILDREN... STOP RUNNING!!

The kids instantly freeze. Claire strides into view.

She’s wearing a cute dress, and a little make-up.

PRINCIPAL CLAIRE (CONT’D)

(a long, severe stare)

Now... WALK! DOUBLE TIME.

Chastened, the kids gulp and orderly march away. Shane’s

eyes alight, impressed.

SHANE:

Wow. I’m glad I never had you for a CO.

72.

PRINCIPAL CLAIRE

(she coyly smiles)

I’ve noticed improvement in your troops

lately, too. Noon and none of them have

been called to my office. It’s a miracle.

She sits beside him, and offers him a milk.

PRINCIPAL CLAIRE (CONT’D)

Buy you a drink, sailor?

SHANE:

Thanks.

They eat in silence. Shane‘s not so good at small talk.

She’s waiting for him to say... something.

SHANE (CONT’D)

You look nice today.

PRINCIPAL CLAIRE

This old thing? Well, you never know who

you’re going to run into.

She smiles. He smiles back... Suddenly, there’s a

commotion:
Murney is marching Todd towards them, dragging

him by the ear. Principal Claire sighs “not again.” In

one move, Shane leaps over the table. Principal Claire

watches him leap:

PRINCIPAL CLAIRE (CONT’D)

... Love it when he does that.

Murney shoves Todd forward.

MURNEY:

I’ve had it. I just caught this boy

dancing under the bleachers like some

kind of Bavarian fruitcake.

Murney gets up in Shane’s face.

MURNEY (CONT’D)

I want this freak outta my school and

into treatment. Somebody needs to give

this punk a talking to...

TODD:

Hey. I’m right here. Talk.

Everyone is shocked that Todd talked back. A hushed

whisper goes through the cafeteria. Murney turns around.

73.

MURNEY:

You got something to say? Boy?

TODD:

Yeah. Yeah I do. I quit, Murney.

A hushed “oooh” goes through the Students.

MURNEY:

Winners never quit, boy. What’re you so

scared of, Freak?

The Students snicker. Todd looks, intimidated. Then:

TODD:

I am not scared. I... I want to sing.

Silence. No one’s sure they heard him right. Todd pulls

out a stack of SOUND OF MUSIC FLYERS and hands them out.

Todd is on the poster in his Rolf costume. Principal

Claire takes one: she laughs, now it all makes sense.

TODD (CONT’D)

I’m in Sound of Music. It opens Friday...

MURNEY:

A musical? You’re blowing off wrestling

for a musical? (to Shane:) This is what

happens when there’s no man in the house.

TODD:

There is a man in my house -- me. (Murney

turns:
) Let’s get one thing clear. I’m

not quitting cause I hate wresting. I’m

quitting because you’re a bad coach. You

suck. The whole team wants to quit. I’m

the only one with the guts to do it.

Murney looks over at the Team. They look to the ground

sheepishly, Todd’s telling the truth. Murney looks

around, humiliated, furious --

MURNEY:

So -- you’re a tough guy now?

Murney takes ONE STEP towards Todd -- Shane steps between

them, protecting him.

MURNEY (CONT’D)

Stay out of this, baby sitter!

Murney glares at him -- face to face. So calm, it’s scary

74.

SHANE:

You said you wanted to wrestle. You win.

Let’s do it.

Everyone is watching. Murney did not expect to be called

out. His voice cracks -- then he regains his calm:

MURNEY:

After school. The Gym. Your ass is mine.

He storms out. There is a stunned moment -- and then a

mob of Students, and a lot of CUTE GIRLS, swarm Todd,

taking flyers. Shane gives Todd a proud thumbs up.

A QUICK SERIES OF SHOTS: Of STUDENTS whispering to other

STUDENTS, passing notes: A Kid opens a note -- it reads:

“Murney’s getting his ass kicked. 3:00.”

INT. GYM - 3:
00

The bleachers are PACKED. Murney struts out onto the mat.

The two fighters begin circling one another. The

Wrestlers scream for Murney. Todd cheers Shane on.

.

MURNEY:

Son, you’re about to enter Murney’s house

of pain.

SHANE:

I’ll be sure to lock up when I’m through.

Murney roars and CHARGES Shane. Shane defensively uses

Murney’s momentum to flip him halfway across the mat.

WHAM. Murney lands on his back.

The Wrestlers mouths drop. Murney, shocked, climbs to his

feet and CHARGES again, Shane side-steps, and sweeps

Murney -- sending him right into the wall, hard.

Murney bounds to his feet, rushes Shane. Shane DIVES

OVER Murney, grabs onto Murney’s waist. Shane’s momentum

pulls Murney backwards -- BAM. Murney’s shoulders hit the

mat with Shane smiling down on him.

Todd flops to the mat, raises his hand and SLAPS it down-

TODD:

Pinned!

Shane stands. Shane throws an arm around Todd, and they

head out. The Wrestling Team huddles around Murney, who’s

quietly twitching on the ground, mumbling something.

75.

TODD (CONT’D)

Is he okay?

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