The Pacifier Page #3

---

SHANE:

(salutes:
)

Lieutenant Shane Wolfe, reporting for

duty.

JULIE:

Of course. I’m so sorry. Thank you for

coming.

She hugs him. He’s not quite sure what to do -- he’s a

rock, he doesn’t flinch.

JULIE (CONT’D)

Come in and meet the rest of the gang.

INT. PLUMMER HOUSE/FOYER - DAY

.

It’s warm and quiet. Petite Julie SCREAMS up the stairs-

11.

JULIE:

KIIIDDS!!!

Shane startles, covers his ears.

JULIE (CONT’D)

Get your butts down here and say “hello!”

And then three pairs of feet come down the stairs. Lulu,

ZOE, 15, and TODD, 14 line up like the perfect family

portrait. Todd’s hair hangs in his face. He wears a Sid

Vicious shirt and a long trench coat.

JULIE (CONT’D)

You’ve already met Lulu. This is Peter,

Zoe and Todd. Kids, this is Lieutenant

Wolfe. He’s the man who is going to be

staying with us for a while.

All the kids except for Todd-

KIDS:

Hi.

Shane nods, stern. On the stairs, a Romanian MAID walks

by, carrying a BABY.

JULIE:

And this is Helga and Tyler.

Shane nods hello to them.

SHANE:

(official:
)

Ma’am... Baby.

JULIE:

Kids, go finish your homework. And I’ll

be checking.

Zoe, Lulu and Todd climb back up the stairs. Julie leads

Shane into...

.

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

Julie sits, Shane stands “at ease” (which doesn’t look

“at ease” at all).

SHANE:

You have a pleasant family, ma’am.

12.

JULIE:

Charles wasn’t around too much. His work

took him all over the world. He’d be gone

six or seven months at a time. So I

think for the younger ones it’s a little

confusing. Zoe and Todd... well, they’re

dealing like your normal teenagers.

Maybe in Todd’s case semi-normal.

SHANE:

Mrs. Plummer, I have to tell you that I

did everything I could...

JULIE:

Charles was in a dangerous business. I

knew it when I married him. No one’s to

blame here.

(beat)

Everyone thinks that Charles told me or

the kids where he hid it. And until

G.H.O.S.T. is found, we’re all in danger.

SHANE:

Nothing will happen to your family as

long as I’m here. I’ve dealt with much...

Suddenly from behind Shane’s head a DUCK appears and

NIBBLES his ear. Shane spins in full fight stance. He

sees the Duck... and relaxes. Sort of.

JULIE:

That’s Gary. He was Charles’.

The duck QUACKS angrily. Confused, Shane returns to “at

ease,” keeping one eye on the duck.

SHANE:

Mrs. Plummer-

JULIE:

Call me Julie.

Beat.

SHANE:

... Mrs. Plummer, I’ll go secure the

perimeter.

JULIE:

I’m glad you’re here

13.

But Shane is already gone.

CUT TO:

MONTAGE. MILITARY MUSIC PLAYS:

Shane secures the area. He paces off the yard.

He mounts surveillance cameras in the eaves.

He attaches contact alarms in the doors and windows.

Shane climbs a telephone pole, opens the circuit box and

TAPS the phones.

Shane, now wearing an EAR TRANSMITTER, crawls through the

shrubs, hiding electric eyes.

Nighttime -- the family eats dinner. We slowly pull

out... through the kitchen window... and reveal Shane

with night vision goggles on scoping the property.

.

The phone RINGS inside. Through the window, Julie

casually answers it. Shane touches his ear transmitter

and LISTENS as he walks into the house.

BILL (o.s.)

Julie, it’s Bill Fawcett. I have some

potentially good news.

JULIE:

What is it?

BILL (o.s.)

A safety deposit box under Charles’ name

was just found in Switzerland. I think

it could contain GHOST.

JULIE:

That’s wonderful. This could all be over!

BILL (o.s.)

There’s a catch. Swiss law says only his

family can access it. I’m going to need

you on a plane tomorrow morning.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Shane, listening to the conversation, enters-

JULIE:

I’ll be there.

14.

Julie and Shane share a look.

INT. PLUMMER HOUSE/FOYER - MORNING

Julie, with her suitcase, Shane, Helga and the Kids stand

in the doorway. Zoe listens to her I-Pod ignoring the hug

Julie gives her.

JULIE:

Don’t worry about the Kids, Helga will

handle everything. (Worried:) But if

there is an emergency, all the emergency

numbers are on the fridge. And on the

phone. And on the back door...

ZOE:

Mom -- we’ll be fine, chill.

JULIE:

(a little choked up:)

I know, it’s just... I am a mom, it’s my

job to worry. ... I love you guys. I’m

gonna miss you. I’ll be back in 48 hours.

And guys, whatever Lieutenant Wolfe asks

you to do... do it. Okay?

All the children nod in agreement except Zoe who pops her

chewing gum bubble.

JULIE (CONT’D)

Lieutenant, I don’t want you to worry

about anything except the safety of my

children. Helga will take care of

everything else.

SHANE:

Don’t worry. They’ll be safe with me.

HELGA:

Everything will be fine, Mrs. Plummer.

Julie gets in the car and it drives away. Shane turns

back to the kids who loom in the doorway.

HELGA (CONT’D)

Tell me, are you licensed to kill?

SHANE:

... No.

HELGA:

(she frowns)

Too bad.

15.

Helga trudges up the path and in.

INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - NIGHT

Shane, on a short ladder, screws in a surveillance camera

into the corner of a wall when he hears:

MALE VOICE (o.s.)

Prepare to be annihilated!

Lulu SCREAMS. The sound of MACHINE GUN FIRING.

Immediately, Shane leaps off the ladder and bounds down

the stairs two at a time and into the...

INT. HOUSE/FAMILY ROOM - NIGHT

Shane rushes in -- and finds Lulu screaming and giggling

in front of a VIDEO GAME. Shane shakes his head.

SHANE:

Could you turn that dow-

And Shane spies half of Todd’s face peeking around a

corner staring at him...

.

SHANE (CONT’D)

Hey-

Todd disappears. WAAAAA!! WAAAAA!! Shane spins, looks

around for the CRYING BABY... can’t find him.

SHANE (CONT’D)

... Where’s the baby?

Without looking Lulu points. A diapered Peter stands in

the half full AQUARIUM, pouring in Cheerios. Helga

enters holding the wailing Tyler. Gary suddenly FLIES by

-WHRRP! Shane ducks. Shane scowls at Helga:

SHANE (CONT’D)

You run a very loose ship.

HELGA:

You don’t like it? You’re the SEAL. You

do something. I make bottle.

Helga stomps out. Shane heads down the hall, when in the

corner of his eye -- he sees A FIGURE SCURRY ACROSS THE

BACK LAWN. Shane turns off the light. He shuts off the

window alarm and sneaks out silently.

16.

EXT. PLUMMER HOUSE - BACK YARD - CONTINUOUS

The yard is littered with toys. In the middle is a

TRAMPOLINE. He spots the Figure climbing the TRELLIS.

Shane runs, jumps onto the trampoline. He flies in the

air and latches onto the figure. They both tumble to the

ground.

Shane yanks off the DARK FIGURE’s hood, revealing SCOTT

(16) a nervous teenager. He’s dazed, but alright, wearing

SHARPER IMAGE night vision goggles.

SCOTT:

... Zoe?

Zoe runs out the door, setting off the PIERCING ALARM.

ZOE:

He’s my boyfriend, tool.

SHANE:

So you’re the one who broke in.

Zoe -- go back inside.

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