The Parole Officer Page #5

To friends.

Search warrant.

Got a locked cupboard here, sir.

Looks like some kind of hatch in the ceiling.

Of course, prison food is processed,

but you get used to it after about 10 years -

the going rate for murdering an accountant.

Except I didn't murder him. You did.

Yeah, but I've got an alibi. You haven't.

If you're gonna frame me for murder,

you should have more evidence.

Boss, I think you'll want to see this.

Nice material with a young girl in the house.

WPC Walsh, kindly escort the minor from the room.

You do know she's under 16, don't you?

Of course you do. She was in your

care. They're lovely at that age.

- You're horrible.

- He's right.

I'm so horrible they're giving me

a bravery award tomorrow.

Funny old world, isn't it?

Bad dog!

Drop it!

Drop it!

Let go of it!

Let go, you horrid dog. Let go!

Better have a look in the garden.

You know, I don't think we checked the kitchen.

Mr Garden, would you mind opening your fridge?

What's in the pot?

Boiled head.

- Your solicitor's been delayed.

- All right. I'll wait.

Can I explain? Do you really think I was boiling a head?

- You've been lying to me.

- Give me ten seconds.

I can prove Burton killed Deacon.

It was recorded by security camera.

The tape is in a bank vault.

I've got to get out to the bank

to get the tape to clear my name.

That was 12 seconds.

- Can I get a magazine?

- Come on. Be quick.

We're going shopping...

It's that woman there!

- Can I see your handbag, madam?

- What's this?

I didn't buy anything. I just

paid for me petrol, that's all.

Burton'll get his award in three hours.

- Pardon?

- Just saying...

Burton'll get his award at Town Hall.

Why are you telling me that?

You think the guard'll give us

champagne so we can toast him?

Good idea. I could smash him over the head with it.

- He's being sarcastic.

- Just saying...

Would've been great seeing Burton's face.

It would've been great if Adolf Hitler

had opened a vegetarian restaurant

instead of forming the Third Reich.

- But it didn't happen.

- Don't like vegetarians.

"It's get Kirsty in"!

- "It's Kirsty, get in!"

- Quick!

- Hurry!

- Get in!

Wow! She's got all the gear!

I didn't know we owned a van.

I nicked it. Didn't think you'd mind this time.

I know it's my fault you're in this mess.

No, it's mine.

It's partly yours.

Run it.

OK, let's do it!

Quick photo, lnspector Burton?

Ladybird to Praying Mantra. Are you receiving me?

It's Praying Mantis.

- Praying Mantra?

- 'Praying Mantra receiving.'

Coast is clear. Just two old dears

waitin' for a bus. Over.

No. It'll back up and repeat on me.

- Anyway, she had a lemon sponge.

- I love a lemon sponge.

- Oh, God, I can't stand heights.

- OK, you can let go now.

OK. Colin's computer program will activate the alarm

in T minus 15 seconds.

Everyone ready?

Good, good. Ten seconds.

I'll count down. Five...

four, three,

two, one.

Um...

Well done, Colin.

- Think thin, Kirsty.

- That's easy for you to say.

- Excuse me.

- See you on stage.

What are those sirens?

They're going off all over. Computer problems.

'..Four males escaped from Gladstone Street Station.'

- Call Mills, check what's going on.

- OK, boss.

Come on.

- Can I help?

- Yeah. Catch.

- What do I do with this?

- Make George a cup of tea.

- Oh.

- One sugar.

Excuse me, Officer. You do know the alarm's going off?

All right, madam, it's sorted.

How do you know which box the video's in?

- 1962.

- The year The Beach Boys formed.

- Who are The Beach Boys?

- You won't like them.

You can hear the words.

He said if she doesn't eat anything,

then come what may, she'll die.

Well, it wasn't her usual doctor and he did have a beard.

Her doctor's in Spain, gallivanting.

All right for some, isn't it?

What the f*** are you on about?

Oh, look! A statue of the Greek goddess Athena.

Let's hope she's on our side.

- Not fallen over, has it?

- Yes.

- I did insist on a redesign.

- I have to say, he did.

- Right. So, I mean, what? Are we...

- We're knackered. We're knackered!

Unless, of course, Kirsty presses this red button.

These two were really worried.

Praying Mantra to Ladybird. Are you receiving me? Over.

- 'Mustafa? Mustafa?'

- Come in, Ladybird.

- He was very rude.

- And he used the F-word.

'..Sally and Jennifer outside

chip shop on Broadcroft Road.'

I don't know what it's coming to nowadays.

God. He's seen the wire. Ladybird! Grasshopper!

Bingo. Time locks off.

- 'Ladybird!'

- Come in.

'The police are here. Five minutes at the most!'

- Five minutes?!

- Crikey.

Stay focused. Right. Access code. Anyone write it down?

Just testing.

It says "code invalid."

- Could they have changed the code?

- Yeah, or a there's a backup system.

Hands up anyone here who's robbed a bank before?

George, what were you in for?

I'm a serial bigamist.

George, just isolate the problem.

- I just like weddings.

- Not that problem. This problem.

I'll isolate it. We can't get through this door,

and coppers will come through that one!

- So what are we gonna do?

- Nothing.

Victor!

So long as the alarm is active, the door won't open.

I thought you might need a bit of help.

A couple more minutes and I'll have it cracked.

Sh-sh-shh.

Now, try again.

But that means they're in the building.

I always find on these occasions

that it helps to be quick.

- I thought you were dead.

- Just resting.

- Saw your grave.

- Your wife said they buried...

six pies and a couple of pasties.

"What a waste."

Well, that wasn't too difficult. What are you doing?

I'm opening a deposit box belonging to a DI Burton.

- We got what we came for.

- No harm having a look.

Where's Victor?

It seems to be all clear, Sarge.

- We'd better check the vaults.

- I'll go.

Reed, you go with her.

- Oh, wow.

- Wow!

- There's more in here.

- It's not our money.

- It's not his either.

- This money is from drugs.

The government will spend it on

weapons of mass destruction.

Right now, you are halfway up a mountain.

Crime is the easy path to the bottom.

- We're robbin' a bank!

- Technically, yes...

Let's just take it and

if we change our minds send it back?

- That's a good compromise.

- It's not a compromise!

- You're taking the money!

- "Technically, yes."

Sarge, lift stopped. Sarge, can you hear me?

- Power cut?

- No, it's Victor.

- Oh, I've got to go back.

- Never go back.

- I left the tape.

- In that case, go back.

Seal the building and search all the rooms.

- Sarge?

- What?

- Fancy having a drink sometime?

- How about tomorrow night?

- Can't tomorrow night. I'm busy.

- Well, next week, then.

I can't. I'm busy.

Actually, I've changed me mind. Women.

This is only the beginning!

I think we have done the job.

OK. One of us should jump first to be sure it's OK.

The other'll make sure she doesn't panic when she jumps.

Right. Oh, my God!

George, I'm perfectly happy to go

first if you're a bit worried.

- Well, I am a bit worried.

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