The Party Page #2

Listen to me.

"White man speak

with, uh, forked tongue!"

And look, mmm-mmm...

You old horned toad, buddy!

Cute little feller, isn't he?

I know all your sayings.

I know all of them.

Good. Hrundi, say hello...

The one where you walk along,

and then you go...

Hrundi, say hello

to Signorina here.

Hello, partner.

Piacere.

Bakshi.

- There you go.

- Oh, thank you.

This is a wonderful thing

you have done for me.

My pleasure.

Thank you, and I will...

thank you.

I would love to say

that it has been...

the greatest moment in my life.

Bang! Aha, got you!

I was quick on the draw.

You beat me that time, pal.

That's right.

- Goodness me.

- Lots of luck to you.

And the same to you, sir.

Howdy, pardner!

That was so groovy.

- That was a short dance.

- That's right.

And they don't go on

for long, do they?

- No, they don't.

- Yes, we just started, and...

Well, anyway,

thank you very much.

Thank you.

Perhaps we can

dance again later.

If your carnet du bal

is not full up.

Oh, I'd love to.

Thank you.

What is that ring

on your finger, chopped liver?

Hello, Polly.

Pretty one.

Hello.

Would you like...

Would you like

some food, Polly?

Pretty Polly.

Where is the... oh.

Birdie num num.

- Hello.

- Birdie num num.

Have birdie num num.

- Go on.

- There were four of us.

Four, yes.

I'll give you a num num.

He's having

the birdie num nums.

Sure, look.

He's waiting for more num num.

All gone.

Num num is gone.

Pretty Polly.

Num-num.

Birdie num-num.

What in the world is that?

I can't imagine.

Howdy, partner.

What is that?!

What is that?

Would you mind getting...

This is 469-6151.

Please remain connected

to the telephone.

There is a call for you, sir.

Please hold on

to the connection.

Please, one second.

I wonder if you could...

Let me hold here.

Could you just let my hand go?

You've got my hand.

Thank you.

Now I take this from you.

Hold on one moment.

Oh. Excuse the mess up here.

It is birdie num-nums.

Put them under my feet.

Look. Just one second.

If you can take this

around you...

Just lift the ashtray, please.

You're... you...

Yes. Thank you.

Oh, Benny.

Yeah, well,

I'm having a few people in.

The picture?

It was going fine until

some idiot blew up the set.

Vodka or scotch, sir?

No, nothing, thank you.

This picture's a very good one.

- Is it?

- It's gonna be great.

- Caviar?

- No, thank you.

- Sir?

- I don't think so. Thanks.

Eat, eh?

Oh, eat.

Sure, honey, we're gonna eat...

but they gotta ring

the little bell first.

Bell?

Bell. Dingy dingy.

Ding?

But first, let's have

a little tiddly at the bar.

- Hello.

- Oh, howdy, little buddy.

That's my old cowboy crusher.

Injun grip.

Oh, you really crushed

my old Indian hand.

Sorta smarts, don't it?

Friendliest little critter

I ever met.

It's an honor to have

had my hand crushed...

by Wyoming Bill Kelso.

Wait till I tell them back home.

Can't...

Pardon me.

It's OK.

Hello.

Hello.

Oh, it was occupied.

- Hrundi V. Bakshi.

- Pardon?

That is what my name is called.

Oh! Michele Monet.

Oh, how do you do?

Are you having a good time?

Good.

Are you having a good time?

Oh, yes.

I am having a good time.

It's good to be

having a good time.

You're an actress?

Oh, yes. I can tell.

Oh? How?

Because I am an actor.

Actors can tell when

actresses are actresses.

It is a thing

that we have together.

You are also French.

I know that.

- How do you know that?

- Well, your name...

and also the way you

are speaking English.

Oh, that's right.

Do you speak French?

Well, just enough

to get myself into trouble.

I'll tell you what I can say.

O est la direction

de la Tour Eiffel...

s'il vous plat?

- That's pretty good.

- Thanks.

- You do speak French.

- You speak Hindustani?

Well, you're not

missing anything.

Oh, dear.

I am here at the moment

taking part...

in Mr. General Clutterbuck's...

latest motion picture

extravaganza.

Oh, that's wonderful.

It is a main featured role...

and I am very glad

to have the opportunity...

to come here and do it.

- Congratulations.

- Thank you.

You are doing something

in a movie?

Working on a movie?

But next week I'm doing

a test for Mr. Divot.

Oh, Mr. Divot.

- What?

- Oh, listen, l...

OK, let's get to the bar.

- Mr. Divot, how do you do?

- Yeah, right, fella.

Good-bye.

Who is that guy?

A very nice man...

with a completely

unpronounceable name.

I know him from someplace.

Well, how are you, General?

Remember

Miss Michele Monet here?

Have you heard her sing yet?

We're giving her a test.

She sings like a bird...

a nightingale.

Fine. I'll look forward to that.

We're going over to the bar

to have a little nippy.

- Dinner is served.

- Good.

Dinner is served.

Alice, do you know

where Miss Monet is sitting?

Right around here, dear.

Excuse me for a minute,

sweetheart.

Dear.

I believe you're over there.

Right down there.

Here. Bakshi, right?

Oh, yes. Mr. Bakshi.

There's no chair.

Oh, Mrs. Clutterbuck,

everybody needs to move over.

Darling, would you mind

moving up just one?

Hey, fella! I believe

you've got my tiddly, there.

I'm sorry, darling.

You're gonna have to move back.

A mistake.

I'm awfully sorry.

Levinson, will you get

the gentleman a chair?

No, it was a mistake.

He's going to bring you a chair,

and then you'll be all right.

All right? Good.

My goodness! What happened

to your little face?

Nothing, except that it is...

somewhat nearer

to the table now.

My chair is lower

than your chair.

Do you like the strawberry soup?

Oh, strawberry soup.

I haven't had it lately.

Lovely in the summer,

don't you think?

Yes, it's... oh.

It's lovely right now.

Good. I'm so glad.

Hey, give me some of that,

will you, pal?

How's the chow?

It's excellent.

No wine, please.

Please, no wine.

I know you would

like me to have it...

but I don't want it.

All right. I don't drink.

I don't smoke. No wine.

Are you all right?

I'm so sorry.

Yes, I will be

perfectly all right.

I won't be in anybody's way.

Now, you're sure

you're comfortable?

Absolutely. I'm getting

out of the way here...

then the door won't bang me.

All right. Excuse me.

They should be finished

with the soup by now.

Get the plates.

Mrs. Clutterbuck...

shall I serve the salad?

Excuse me, what are you doing?!

Get in the kitchen.

That is just outside Bombay.

And Bombay is in India?

Oh, that is very much

in India, yes, indeed.

And that is indeed

the gateway to India.

When all...

I think that one

of these bearers...

does not like

the other one.

You have a very hard time

finding good help these days.

Yes, you certainly do.

Did you ever hear the one

about the trapeze artist...

who got divorced?

Caught his wife in the act.

That's terribly funny.

Yeah, it's been terribly funny

for about twenty years.

Please, no more drinking.

Gore, are you sure

it's all right?

It's not all right.

It's divine.

You are too kind.

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