The Perfect Match Page #4

I don't appreciate that, Charlie...

but my advisor says that I can't engage...

in any negative facial expressions.

So, Karen does that for me now.

Karen.

You gotta be kidding me.

Oh, y'all are serious?

Boris, whole purification act.

Babe, this is all hurting your fan base.

People want their stars to be relatable.

Right now, your fans

are unfollowing you...

as fast as they're

creating memes about you.

Karen.

Look, Avatia. I believe in you...

but this is a big opportunity.

You're up for a major part

in a Marvel film.

But the studio is not gonna hire you

if they think you're gonna be trouble.

I am not trouble.

- That...

- Did you spray that in my hair?

- No, no, no.

- ...is trouble.

You know, I know you.

You do this every time you get afraid.

This is a new career for you. I get it.

Listen, the director and his team

want to meet me.

Yeah, that's fine.

I'll be right there with you.

They said alone.

I'll fix it.

- Okay?

- Okay.

You and me,

we'll take this first step together, okay?

All right, now, I want you to get up.

Boris, stop. Just stop, all right?

Just stand down.

We'll take this first step together, okay?

Cut all that craziness out.

But my spiritual advisor says...

Should concentrate on your spirit.

I got your career.

Okay.

You go, you pop star, you.

Okay. Bye, bye.

- Knock 'em dead.

- All right, now.

Oh, my God. Charlie, you are like...

- The Diva Whisperer.

- Yeah.

- Thank you.

- All in a day's work.

You know, that's what I do.

I heard. You did my friend Julie.

Julie...

Did you not call her?

Yeah.

I'm worried about your karma.

I thought I... I didn't text her?

This is my gift to you.

Namaste.

I'm surprised you texted me.

I'll admit, I'm intrigued

by your situation.

You really think some people...

aren't meant to be in relationships?

I believe everyone's different.

So, you've never been

in a long-term relationship?

No. You?

I've never been in a short relationship.

So why are we here?

Well...

I'm not sure that you're my type, Charlie.

But I like that about you.

Well, I'm not sure you're my type.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- What's your type?

- Fun...

No expectations.

- So, no strings, right?

- No strings.

Well, you might be right.

Maybe I'm not your type.

But...

I wanna try something new.

Something different.

But I can't be

in a relationship right now.

So, what are you saying?

So, I'm saying...

keep your phone handy.

I ain't worried 'bout nothin'.

I ain't worried 'bout nothin'.

- Kareem.

- Ridin' round with that work...

Strapped up with that Nina.

- Got two bad b*tches with me

- Kareem?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I was just talking to my ex on my phone.

And I'm worried. I mean, I'm not worried.

You know, 'cause I got it

all under control.

- And there's nothin' to worry about.

- No, no, no.

- It was...

- Stop. No need to apologize.

It ain't nothin' to worry about.

I'm sorry.

That's brilliant.

That shouldn't have happened, at all.

Get my sister on the phone.

Yes, uh, I'm calling

from Charlie Mclntyre's office.

Too thirsty.

Sir, uh, Charlie. Not "Sir Charlie."

Your sister's on the line.

Tell her, I'll hit her from the car.

- Hey.

- Hey.

I wasn't sure you were still coming.

Me, either.

Um, uh, water.

- Yeah. Thanks.

- Yeah?

Do you... Do you want still or sparkling?

Holy sh*t.

Think you might have busted my lip.

I'm sorry. I get pretty excited.

No need for an apology.

I'll get you some water.

Thank you.

Do you actually have wine?

Yep. As a matter of fact, I do.

Is this a LaChappelle?

No, actually. It's mine.

You have a great eye.

What do you shoot with?

I used a Nikon D700 for that.

But you know, what I really want

is a vintage Leica.

It's just hard to find.

Those things are like tanks.

You into photography?

It looks good on you, by the way.

Well, I'm into a lot of things.

- Really?

- Really.

Cheers.

That's good.

What is this?

It's Carmenere.

I call it the House of Cards wine...

'cause that's what

they were drinking on the show.

It's so good.

This is the same wine

that Claire Underwood drinks on the show?

Don't... Don't do that.

Don't try to act

like you know about House of Cards...

to, like, connect with me.

That's like... Don't try to do that.

Stop.

You're into House of Cards?

Who isn't into House of Cards?

That's my show. I love that show.

So, this situation, then?

It's just fun.

No attachments. No strings, right?

Look at this face.

All fun, no attachments.

- None of that.

- It's all fun?

- Yeah.

- Okay, yeah.

Well, good. 'Cause I need fun.

- You do?

- I do.

- I need fun.

- Who doesn't?

Give me another one. Come here.

- Hey, baby.

- Close the door.

Baby.

Okay, I know I have

some strong swimmers...

but I don't think they

could swim that fast.

I'm not one of your hussies

on your dating show, Rick, okay?

I'm a f***ing lady.

Close the door!

Hey, I'm gonna go down

and make some hot cocoa.

- You want some?

- Of course I do.

All right.

Here's your hot cocoa

with all the accoutrements.

I got some tiny marshmallows...

got the whipped cream...

and a little bourbon to take the edge off.

- Rick!

- What?

You know I can't be drinking.

If that test in there

comes out positive...

our baby's gonna come out

with her eyes too close together.

Babe, I was playin'.

The bourbon is for me.

Why you playin'?

What if something is really wrong with us?

There's nothing wrong with us,

honey, I promise.

We've been trying for seven months.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

You just got off of birth control.

Just because you love vagina

doesn't mean you're a gynecologist.

I never said I was a gynecologist.

I just think you're overreacting.

And by "overreacting"...

I mean we just need to give it more time.

- Oh.

- Yeah.

Look, if the test is negative,

we can always try again.

Oh! I don't wanna have any more sex.

- What?

- This sh*t has become work...

and I don't wanna work.

I wanna be a stay-at-home mom.

I hear that.

If you hear that,

put the whipped cream down.

I want a baby.

Come here.

Look, if the test is negative...

I promise we'll go

to the fertility specialist.

- For real?

- For real.

- You promise?

- I promise.

You're crazy. You know that, right?

- I know.

- Yeah.

I like that about you, though.

Let's go see if we got a plus or minus.

Come on. Come on.

French Montana. You're Charlie, right?

- Yeah, man.

- What up?

We met at Puff's house

at the pool party that time.

No, I remember.

You got them big endorsement deals, man.

The big money man.

Yo, now, that's what I do, man.

Try to make money for my clients, yo.

It's so random running into you here, man.

The universe

must be bringing us together...

'cause I got a deal on the table...

that will be a big check for you, man.

If you're talkin' them kinda numbers

you got him, man, sign me in now.

All right, let's do this, man.

Stop by the Premier Edge office.

Let me sign you up.

Hold on, before you sign me up, dawg...

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