The Phantom Tollbooth Page #2

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WHAT KIND OF PLACE IS...

I MEAN, WHAT KIND OF PLACE

IS EXPECTATIONS?

GOOD QUESTION.

SPLENDID QUESTION.

EXPECTATIONS:

IS THE PLACE:

YOU MUST ALWAYS GO

BEFORE YOU GE WHERE YOU'RE GOING.

OF COURSE, SOME PEOPLE

NEVER GET BEYOND

EXPECTATIONS.

MY JOB IS TO HURRY

THEM ALONG ANYWAY.

I'D BETTER HURRY

YOU ALONG, TOO.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

BUT...BUT I REALLY THINK

I CAN FIND MY OWN WAY.

SPLENDID,

SPLENDID, SPLENDID.

I DO SO HATE TO MAKE UP

MY MIND ABOUT ANYTHING.

WHETHER OR NO YOU FIND YOUR WAY,

YOU'RE BOUND TO FIND

SOME WAY.

IF YOU HAPPEN:

TO FINDMYWAY,

PLEASE RETURN IT.

YOU DID SAY:

IT WAS GOING TO RAIN,

DIDN'T YOU?!

BOY, THAT'S THE MOS PECULIAR MAN I'VE EVER MET.

I HOPE I'LL MEET SOMEBODY

WHOSE SENTENCES MAKE AS MUCH

SENSE BACKWARDS AS FORWARD.

[YAWN]

WHAT A NICE SLEEPY DAY.

MAYBE THAT OLD TOLLBOOTH

HAD SOMETHING AFTER ALL.

NOBODY TO TELL ME

WHAT TO DO...

NO DECISIONS TO MAKE...

NOTHING TO THINK ABOUT...

AND NOTHING TO CARE ABOUT...

NOTHING...

MILES AND MILES AND MILES

OF NOTHING.

NOTHING...

JUST NOTHING.

[YAWN]

I WONDER WHERE I AM.

[DEEP, SLEEPY VOICE]

YOU'RE IN DOLDRUMS.

THE WHAT DRUMS?

[ECHOING] WELCOME...

TO...THE...DOLDRUMS.

[SNORING]

ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE...

[YAWN]

OURSELVES.

WE ARE THE LETHARGARIANS.

[SNORING]

[MILO]

I'M VERY PLEASED TO MEET YOU.

COULD YOU HELP ME,

PLEASE?

I THINK I'M LOST.

All:
THINK?!

DON'T SAY THAT!

IT'S AGAINST THE LAW

TO THINK IN THE DOLDRUMS.

[SNORING]

BUT THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

EVERYBODY THINKS.

WE DON'T.

AND MOST OF THE TIME,

YOU DON'T.

AND THAT'S

WHY YOU'RE HERE.

YOU WEREN'T THINKING.

[SNORING]

AND YOU WEREN' PAYING ATTENTION, EITHER.

NOW, PEOPLE WHO DON' PAY ATTENTION

OFTEN GET STUCK:

IN THE DOLDRUMS.

[SNORING]

HA HA HA!

THAT'S SILLY.

HA HA HA!

STOP THAT AT ONCE!

LAUGHING IS:

AGAINST THE LAW.

AND SMILING:

IS PERMITTED:

ONLY ON:

ALTERNATE THURSDAYS.

BUT IF YOU CAN'T LAUGH

OR THINK,

WHATCANYOU DO:

IN THE DOLDRUMS?

UH, DO?

WHY,

YOU CAN DO ANYTHING...

AS LONG AS:

IT'S NOTHING

[YAWN]

EVERYTHING:

AS LONG:

AS IT ISN'T ANYTHING

SO...

DON'T SAY THERE'S

NOTHING TO DO IN THE DOLDRUMS

DON'T SAY

WE DIDDLE AWAY THE DAYS

WE DON'T?

NO.

WE DAWDLE A BI AND THEN...

YEAH, AND THEN WE...

WE LOITER A WHILE

AND DAWDLE AGAIN

PPSSHHHH...

WE GATHER OUR STRENGTH

TO START ANEW:

ON ALL OF:

THE LOAFING AND LOUNGING

WE STILL HAVE LEFT TO DO

SO, DON'T SAY

THERE'S NOTHING TO DO

IN THE DOLDRUMS:

IT'S JUST...

NOT...TRUE

[SNORING]

I CAN SEE YOU LEAD

A RICH AND PRODUCTIVE LIFE.

DON'T SAY THERE'S NOTHING

TO DO IN THE DOLDRUMS

I'M READY TO DIDDLE AWAY

THE DAYS, I AM

I DAWDLE A BI [CACKLING]

DAWDLE A BI I LOITER A WHILE

LOITER A WHILE:

AND DAWDLE AGAIN

AND THEN WE DAWDLE AGAIN

I GATHER MY STRENGTH

TO START ANEW:

TO START ANEW:

ON ALL OF:

THE LOAFING AND LOUNGING

I STILL HAVE LEFT TO DO

SO...

DON'T SAY THERE'S NOTHING

TO DO IN THE DOLDRUMS

IT'S JUST...

[YAWNING]

NOT...TRUE

[SNORING]

[DOG BARKING]

IT'S THE TERRIBLE WATCHDOG!

RUN! RUN, EVERYBODY!

THE TERRIBLE:

WATCHDOG!

RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

HELP!

AAH!

AAH!

TERRIBLE WATCHDOG?

[BARKING]

[BARKING]

[SPLAT]

HERE, WHAT'S THIS?

WHAT ARE YOU:

DOING HERE?

[YAWN]

JUST KILLING TIME.

KILLING TIME?!

[RINGING]

LOOK, SON.

IT'S BAD ENOUGH

WASTING TIME:

WITHOUT KILLING IT.

COME ON,

GET HOLD OF YOURSELF.

YOU CAN'T SPEND

THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

IN THE DOLDRUMS.

HOW DID YOU GET HERE

ANYWAY?

OH, IT WAS EASY.

I GUESS I JUS WASN'T THINKING.

HA! PRECISELY.

YOU GOT HERE:

BY NOT THINKING,

AND NOW YOU'VE GO TO THINK YOUR WAY OUT.

GO AWAY.

I WAS ASLEEP.

[ALARM RINGS]

BESIDES, IT'S AGAINS THE LAW TO THINK.

YOU'VE GOT TO GET OU OF HERE.

I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T HAD

MUCH PRACTICE,

BUT YOU'VE GO TO START THINKING.

TOO MUCH WORK TO THINK.

I'D RATHER NOT DO...

[YAWN]

ANYTHING.

AND LETHARGARIANS

DON'T WANT YOU

TO DO ANYTHING,

EVEN EATING OR BREATHING.

BREATHING?

BUT I'VE ALWAYS BREATHED.

I CAN'T STOP NOW.

THEN GET STARTED THINKING.

THINK, BOY, THINK!

WHAT DO I:

THINK ABOUT?

THINK OF BIRDS THAT SWIM

AND FISH THAT FLY.

UH...LET'S SEE...

BIRDS THAT SWIM...

[DING]

AND FISH THAT FLY...

[DING]

WORDS THAT BEGIN

WITH "J."

IT'S WORKING.

IT'S WORKING.

KEEP THINKING!

DINOSAUR INSTEPS!

POTATO ICE CREAM!

UH...POTATO INSTEPS

AND DINOSAUR ICE CREAM.

FASTER, BOY, FASTER!

DEOXYRIBONUCLEIC ACID!

DEOSSY-RYE-BANANA

CLUNK-CASTLE!

ALBERT EINSTEIN!

E=MC SQUARED!

ALBERT EINSTEIN!

E=MC SQUARED!

WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE!

ANTHONY TROLLOPE!

ISAAC NEWTON!

FASTER, BOY!

FASTER! ROGER BACON!

JOHN STUART MILL!

[RINGING]

FEBRUARY,

F-E-B-R-U-A-R-Y!

15 TIMES 86

EQUALS 1,290,

AND CARRY THE 3!

[RINGING]

WHEW! FOR A MINUTE,

I WAS AFRAID:

I'D SNAPPED

MY MAINSPRING.

YOU MUST EXCUSE:

MY GRUFF CONDUCT.

BUT, YOU SEE,

IT'S TRADITIONAL

FOR WATCHDOGS:

TO BE FEROCIOUS.

I THOUGH YOU WERE JUST GREAT,

BUT ARE YOU SURE

IT'S ALL RIGH TO LEAVE

THOSE LETHARGARIANS

BACK THERE ALONE?

OH, I DON'T JUS WATCH LETHARGARIANS.

I WATCH BOYS, TOO.

AND RIGHT NOW, I'D SAY

YOU NEEDED A WATCHDOG,

AND ANYWAY, I JUS LOVE AUTOMOBILE RIDES!

I'M VERY PLEASED

TO HAVE YOU ALONG.

MY NAME IS MILO.

MILO--THAT'S A STRANGE

NAME FOR A BOY.

MY NAME IS TOCK.

WELL, ISN' THAT KIND OF

A STRANGE NAME:

FOR A DOG?

OH, NO. HOW MANY NAMES

CAN YOU GIVE A WATCHDOG?

ACTUALLY,

MY NAME IS TICK TOCK.

MY FRIENDS:

CALL ME TOCK.

MAY I CALL YOU TOCK?

IT'S ABOUT TIME

I HAD A FRIEND.

IT'S ABOUT TIME?

TIME? BUT TIME

ISYOUR FRIEND!

"TIME MARCHES ON."

"TIME AND TIDE

WAIT FOR NO MAN."

TIME, TIME

TIME, TIME

TIME IS A GIFT,

FLEETING AND SWIFT

TICKING AND TOCKING

ITSELF AWAY:

ITSELF AWAY,

I'M SAYING BETTER BEWARE

TIME IS A GIFT,

PRECIOUS AND RARE

TAKE IT AND MAKE OF I ALL YOU CAN

USE ALL YOU CAN, THERE'S NO A MOMENT TO SPARE

SO TAKE A SECOND

TO LOOK AROUND:

SEE A SIGHT,

HEAR A SOUND:

TAKE A MINUTE TO CONCENTRATE

ANALYZE:

CONTEMPLATE:

TAKE AN HOUR AND CHANGE

THE FATE OF THE WORLD

TIME IS A GIF GIVEN TO YOU

GIVEN TO GIVE YOU

THE TIME YOU NEED

THE TIME YOU NEED

TO HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE

TIME:

TICKS:

HASTILY AWAY:

TAKE TIME:

TO SAVE IT EVERY DAY

TIME:

SAVED:

IN THE NICK OF TIME

IS GOLDEN TIME:

[MILO]

TIME, TIME

TIME:

TIME IS A GIFT,

FLEETING AND SWIFT

TICKING AND TOCKING

ITSELF AWAY, ITSELF AWAY

TIME TO:

SAVE IT EVERY DAY

TIME IS A GIFT,

PRECIOUS AND RARE

TAKE IT AND MAKE OF I ALL YOU CAN, USE ALL YOU CAN

THERE'S NOT A MOMEN TO SPARE

SO TAKE A SECOND

TO LOOK AROUND:

SEE A SIGHT,

HEAR A SOUND:

TAKE A MINUTE TO CONCENTRATE

ANALYZE:

ANALYZE:

CONTEMPLATE:

CONTEMPLATE:

TAKE AN HOUR AND CHANGE

THE FATE OF THE WORLD

TIME IS A GIF GIVEN TO YOU

GIVEN TO GIVE YOU

THE TIME YOU NEED

THE TIME YOU NEED

TO HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE

THE TIME YOU NEED

TO HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE

GOLLY!

I'VE NEVER SEEN

SUCH A BEAUTIFUL

COUNTRY, TOCK.

WHAT COUNTRY IS IT?

WELL, IT USED TO BE CALLED

THE KINGDOM OF WISDOM

UNTIL THE OLD KING DIED,

BUT THEN IT WAS DIVIDED

INTO TWO STATES.

ON ONE SIDE,

DICTIONOPOLIS,

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