The Pickwick Papers Page #3

I was, sir, and grateful thanks. Uncommon snug fit.

May I ask the nature of the means by which

you acquired Mr. Winkle's coat, sir?

Well -

I took the Liberty of lending it to him, sir.

Indeed, sir?

Without Mr. Winkle's

knowledge, sir?

It was the act of a black guard, sir.

Mr. Winkle.

- Music-

Sir, you have called my friend a black guard.

So he is. So are you.

My attachment to your person, sir, is great, very

great. But upon that person I must now take

summary

vengeance?

Come on, sir!

- Music -

Mr. Winkle! Mr. Tupman! Do you dare stand that

you're about to descend to fisticuffs?

Such is my intention, sir. And why not, pray?

Why not, sir? Because, because you are too old.

Too old?

And if any further reason were required, you are too

fat.

Sir, this is an insult.

Sir, it was intended as one.

Sir, you have called me old.

I have.

And fat.

I reiterate the charge.

Sir, you're a fellow.

Sir, you're not.

Oh.

Restrain yourself!

Mr. Pickwick!

Let me go!

Mr. Pickwick you must not imperil your distinguished

Life.

Mr. Pickwick, with the eyes of the world upon you,

Mr. Tupman, who in common with us all derives a

Luster

from your undying name, for shame, gentlemen. For

shame.

Mr. Snodgrass speaks for us all, gentlemen.

Swallow this, a brandy and water. A jolly old

gentleman, Lots of pluck. CapitaI stuff.

Thank you, sir. I'm ashamed at having been

betrayed into such a warmth of feeling.

Understandable.

Take my Leave of one and all. A pressing

engagement.

Not good-bye but au revoir.

Au revoir.

Your servant, gentlemen.

Yours.

Gentlemen, Mr. Jingle is the viper in our midst.

Viper?

Viper, sir.

Nonsense, Winkle.

Nonsense, Winkle.

Nonsense, Winkle.

Very Well, then. We shall see.

A riding mare and a pony cart for Mr. Pickwick.

Is this the only way we can get to Dingley Dell?

We never got there any other way to my knowledge,

sir.

Bless my soul, who's going to drive? I hadn't

thought of that.

Why, you, of course.

As quiet as a mouse, sir. A infant in arms could

drive him.

She doesn't shy, does she?

Not if she met a wagon Load of monkeys with their

tails burned off.

But who's going to ride the horse?

Why you, Mr. Winkle. You're the all-round

sportsman of this expedition. You can ride a horse, I

hope?

Oh, naturally. Born in the saddle. But surely I'm

depriving one of you other gentlemen of the

pleasure.

No, no, no.

Perish the thought.

You're at Liberty, sir.

- Music-

That's the 20th time she's done that. What can she

mean by it?

I think she was trying to shy.

Then we must make her realize who is master. Mr.

Winkle, have the kindness to retrieve my whip. I

daren't

Let go of these reins.

Well, I daren't get off this horse.

Come, come, sir. If you got onto him once, you can

get onto him again.

ALL right.

- Music-

There. What did I tell you? Acquire a firm hand, and

they know who's master.

- Music-

Well, now, what am I to do? I'LL never get on again.

Show the beast that you will tolerate no nonsense,

as I am doing.

Oh dear. Hold still. Hold. Tally ho! Yikes!

Be quiet and firm.

He's the one that's being quiet and firm.

You had better Lead him till we come to a turnpike.

Whoa! He won't come.

Then I must come to your assistance.

He doesn't even understand English.

Whoa!

- Music-

So there you are! Why, you two Look tired. Ladies,

the guests are here! What have you been doing? So

you've been spilt, ay? Not hurt, I hope, ay? Joel Drat,

that boy's asleep again. Joe! Take that horse for the

gentlemen and Lead it to the stables.

- Music-

My dear Mr. Pickwick, gentlemen, welcome.

Welcome

to Dingley Dell.

My daughters, gentlemen.

How do you do?

How do you do?

And that's my sister, Miss Rachael Wardle. She's a

miss, she is, and yet she ain't a miss, ay sir, ay?

No, brother. Welcome to Dingley Dell, gentlemen.

Now you all know each other, Let's be comfortable

and happy, that's what I say. See what's going

forward.

Well soon have you patched up and ship shape. But

first

of all, you must come and meet my mother.

Do you think my dear nieces pretty?

Well, I should, if their aunt were not here.

Oh, you naughty man. You were going to say that

Emily

stoops. I know you were.

Oh, no, I -

And so she does. It can't be denied. Oh, you quiz.

What

a sarcastic smile. I know what that smile means very

Well.

Oh. Do you?

You mean you don't think Emilys stooping is as bad

as Isabels boldness?

Oh, but I -

Well, she is bold. I'm sure I cry about it for

hours together. But my dear brother is so good and

so

unsuspicious that he never sees it. I'm sure if he did

it would break his heart.

Well.

Look, I'm sure auntie's talking about us. She Looks

so malicious.

Is she?

Auntie, dear?

Yes, my dear Love?

I'm so afraid you're going to catch cold. Do put

this silk scarf round your dear, old, neck.

You must take care of yourself. Consider your age.

Consider it, angel. That was Isabel.

They obviously worship their aunt.

- Music -

Mr. Pickwick, Mother.

Huh? I can't hear you.

Mr. Pickwick, Grandma.

Ah, Well, it won't much matter.

But -

He don't care for an old woman Like me, I dare say.

I assure you -

Oh, Grandma. Isn't she naughty?

I assure you, madam, nothing delights me more

than

to see a lady at your time of Life heading so fine

a family and Looking so Well and so young.

- Music -

ALL very fine, I dare say, but I can't hear a word.

He was paying you a compliment, mother.

Grandma's put out now. But shell speak to

you presently.

Isabella, what a way to talk about your grandma.

Young

girls have such spirits.

But not a monopoly of them.

- Music -

Miss Wardle.

Miss Wardle, you are an angel.

Oh, Mr. Tupman, all women are angels, they say.

Then what and you be? To what can I without

presumption compare you? Where else can I hope to

find

so rare a combination of excellence and beauty?

Oh, men are such deceivers.

They are. They are. But not all men. There does

exist

at Least one being who could never change, who

would be

content to devote his whole existence to your

happiness,

who Lives but in your eyes, who breathes but in your

smiles.

Could such an individual exist?

He does exist. He is here, Miss Wardle.

Mr. Tupman, rise.

Never, till you say you Love me. Oh, Rachael, say

you Love me.

Oh, Mr. Tupman, I can scarcely breathe it, but

you're not wholly indifferent to me.

Oh, Rachael, my angel.

Oh. Oh! Mr. Tupman, we're observed!

What do you want here?

Lunch is ready, sir.

Oh. Lunch is ready. Have you just come here?

Just.

He knows nothing of what happened.

Nothing?

He was asleep, as usual.

- Music-

- Music-

Your bird, Mr. Winkle!

Oh! Oh!

Mr. Pickwick! Oh, Mr. Pickwick, I'm going fast!

Cain, you've slayed Abel.

No. Oh, don't say that.

Only a graze on the arm, my dear fellow. Lucky

escape. We must get you back to Dingley Dell. Mr.

Pickwick. Why, bless my soul, not another casualty!

It's silly of me, I know, but I'm afraid I've broken my

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