The Pickwick Papers Page #4

Leg.

My dear fellow!

Hello!

Why, it's Mr. Jingle. Oh, providential sight.

Put that down.

Don't Lift him. Possible sprain. Doctor

for years. And cold water and splints.

Came down Like a wolf on the foal.

Charming. Bitten by snake.... sword, saved Life.

What is the matter with the Little, old gentleman?

Why have they got him in a wheelbarrow? I do

hope it's not serious.

What's the matter with Mr. Tupman?

Now, don't be frightened, my dear.

What's the matter?

Mr. Pickwick has turned his ankle, and Mr. Tupman

has

met with a Little accident.

Oh, Auntie!

Pour some cold water over her, quickly.

I'm better. Bella, Emily, a surgeon! Is he wounded?

Is he dead? Oh, oh, oh!

Calm yourself, dear. Dea madam, calm yourself.

It's his voice.

Do not agitate, sir. Out of danger. Dressed wound

myself.

Then you're not dead? Oh, say you're not dead!

Don't be a fool, Rachael. How could he say he

wasn't

dead if he was?

And vice versa.

It is to the presence of mind and resourcefulness of

this gentleman that we are all indebted, my dear.

Oh, please.

Allow me to present an old and honored friend of our

friends, Mr. Alfred Jingle.

Your most obedient.

My sister Rachael, my daughters Isabel and Emily.

Exquisite examples of femininity. Overwhelmed.

Beauty, thy name is woman.

Mr. Jingle was already on his way to London, but we

have prevailed upon him to honor us with a few days

of

his company.

How delightful.

Well, it isn't all... Luggage all gone on ahead.

By water.

Quite. No rag to back. Scarecrow.

Why, I'm sure that all our wardrobes are

at

your disposal, ay? Why, bless me, we're forgetting all

about Mr. Pickwick.

Oh, poor Mr. Pickwick.

You must come inside at once, Mr. Pickwick.

What a shame.

I'm sure it will be all right when you rest.

I wish to make it quite clear that my wardrobe is not

at Mr. Jingles disposal.

Keen.

Missus? Missus?

Hmm? What do you want?

Oh, I wants to make your flesh creep. I see Mr.

Tupman

hugging and a kissing on Ms. Rachael in this very

summer

house you're sitting in now.

Mr. Tupman and my daughter?

Yes, Missus.

And she Let him?

Yes, Missus.

Oh. At her time of Life. I never did Like the Looks

of that Mr. Tupman from the moment I clapped eyes

on him.

A fortune hunter, that's what he is. He's after her

money?

Yes, Missus.

And she's a fool.

Yes, Missus.

- Music -

Miss Wardle.

Forgive intrusion. No time for ceremony. ALL is

discovered.

Fresh!

Fat boy. Scoundrel. Treacherous dog. Told the

old Lady. Old Lady furious, raving.

My mother?

You and Tuppy.

Tuppy?

Kissing in green house.

Mr. Jingle, if you're trying to insult me.

On the contrary. Overheard fat boy. Come to

warn you. Dreadful danger. Tender my services.

Prevent

hubbub. Other hand, think it an insult, Leave room.

What I shall I do? My brother will be furious.

No Possible doubt. Outrageous.

Oh, Mr. Jingle, what can I say?

Say, say he dreamt it. Nothing simpler. Fat boy

horse whipped, your word believed. End of matter.

One

word of warning. Beware of false heart beating

beneath smiling face.

Who ever do you mean?

Wild horses wouldnt drag. Only wants you

for your money.

Are you referring to Mr. Tupman?

Lips sealed. Old friend. Lady killer. Loves another.

Another? Who?

Niece, Emily.

My niece? It can't be. I won't believe it.

Watch him.

Watch his Looks, his whispers. Hell sit next

to her at table. Hell flatter her and cut you.

Cut me?

I will.

Youll take another?

Yes.

You shall. I shall be that man. Worship from first.

Devoted slave. Inner torment. Sleepless nights.

Fortune

of my own. Love you for yourself. Death do us part.

Dare I hope?

Oh, Mr. Jingle.

And so to sum it all up in a nutshell, Ms. Rachael

herself wishes me to appear indifferent until all

suspicion is averted.

Exactly. Cover her back. Family furious. Pretend

to make advances to her niece Emily.

Emily?

Emily. Convince family fat boy Liar. On no account

risk tete-a-tete with Ms. Rachael yet. Fat in fire.

And she has thought out all this just to protect me?

Exactly. Constant to eternity. Heart of gold.

Lucky man. Envy you.

My dear friend.

My dear.

Please tell her I will do exactly as she advises. And

my warmest thanks to you for your disinterested

kindness,

my dear friend. How can I ever help you?

Oh, don't talk of it. Unless - need 10 pounds,

a very particular purpose. Repay you in three days.

Well, if it's only for three days, I think I

could oblige you.

Three days at the outside. After that, rich

man. Repay you twofold. Remember, not a Look.

Not a wink.

Not a syllable.

Not a whisper.

If anything, be rude.

Rude?

Rude. Only way to convince family.

Remember, take care.

I'LL take care.

And I'LL take care.

- Music-

How I hate the wretch. You were so right, Mr.

Jingle.

Noblesse oblige.

Oh, mercy on us! Burglars!

- Music-

Ladies, whatever is the matter?

Oh, Mr. Pickwick, Aunt Rachaels eloped with Mr.

Jingle.

What?

With the...

You villain! You were bribed by that scoundrel

Jingle to put us off the scent with some cock and bull

story about Ms. Rachael and Mr. Tupman!

Irony! Irony! He's eloped on the 10 pounds he

borrowed

from me! I paid the fellows expenses! Oh, I won't

stand

it, Mr. Pickwick! I'LL have justice!

Restrain yourself, Mr. Tupman!

Please, please, keep calm.

Now, get back to bed all of you! I'm going to follow

and bring her back! Joe! Put a horse in the gate!

Mr. Pickwick, papa's going to follow them!

It was my 10 pounds!

Ladies, keep calm. Mr. Jingle shall be brought to

task without bloodshed. I will accompany Mr. Wardle.

I'LL thrash him! I'LL thrash him!

Winkle, put Tupman back to bed.

I'LL not stand it!

- Music-

I'LL have my Lawyer answer him!

- Music-

Now, you do the asking. You're the Lawyer.

Good idea sir.

Did they not hear?

This is a curious old inn of yours.

If you'd sent word you was a'coming, we'd have had

it repaired, sir.

Pretty busy, ay?

Oh, very Well, sir. We shan't go bankrupt, and we

shan't make our fortune. We eats our boiled mutton

without capers, and we don't care for horseradish

when we

can get beef.

Ah, you're a wag, aren't you?

My eldest brother was troubled with that complaint,

sir. It may be catching. used to seep with him.

The fact of the matter is we want to know, and we

ask

the question of you in order that we may not arouse

apprehension inside, we want to know who you've

got in the

inn at the moment.

Well, there's a wooden Leg in number six, a pair of

Hessians in 13, two pairs of halves in the

commercial,

these here painted tops in the snuggery inside the

bar,

and five more tops in the coffee room.

Nothing more?

Stop a bit. Yes. There's pair of pumps, very Well

worn, and a pair of Ladys country shoes in number

five.

What's the maker's name?

Brown.

Where of?

Muggleton.

It's them, by heaven! We found them!

We're in time!

Charge to the room, there's no time to be Lost!

Now, now, my dear sir. Caution, caution. Show us to

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