The Polka King Page #2

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are thinking about quitting, too.

Mickey, Mickey, we are on our way.

You know I have dream.

We're gonna be big famous.

The booking fees are too small.

You made the band too big.

What? That is part of plan, Mickey.

When band get big, crowd get big.

Before we play rinky-dink.

Lonny says you're adding

a dancing bear to the act. That true?

Yeah. [chuckles] Bitsy Bear.

She do funny floppy dance.

Cheryl flipped when she heard.

That was the last straw.

We already have a chicken.

I knew it. Cheryl make you quit.

She's all over me.

She wants me to go back to Radio Shack.

You hate that job.

That job kill your soul.

Jan, let's face it. This business stinks.

[man yelling]

Jan, pick up! Two deliveries!

You give me little bit more time.

I figure out raise,

I get Cheryl off your dupa.

[slaps]

When Jan Lewan Orchestra play,

I feel energy of crowd and I think,

"How I bring everyone in to be part

of Jan Lewan American success dream?"

But what exactly would we be investing in?

Jan Lewan.

This dream right here.

I don't get what a "promissory note" is.

I learn from my cousin in Poland.

He get invest to fund his business,

and then he pay investors interest.

Everybody win.

I not enough

just be King of Pennsylvania Polka.

Your invest help build all my business.

Like this gift shop,

Jan Lewan-flavored vodka, polka TV show...

and we not stop there.

My success is your success.

And, of course,

you get money back, guaranteed.

Twelve percent. My promise to you.

How much did the Sajacs invest?

I not tell you their business.

You need ask Sajacs.

Larry's always been real smart

with his money.

So you and this lovely young lady

go home...

[chuckles]

read all, and see if Jan Lewan

is right for you.

I'm walking over to the dry cleaner

to see if they can break a 20.

Marla, come inside.

You know Ed and Anita from shows.

Ah!

- We're Jan's number one fans.

- [Marla chuckles]

They are thinking of invest.

Oh. Well, you cannot go wrong

with this man. He never stops.

[chuckles]

We're getting 3% at the bank.

Twelve percent sorta sounds too good

to be true.

Is true. That is why it's so good.

Oh!

Welcome to ground floor of big beginning.

[polka music playing]

- Ladies and gentlemen, Mickey Stutz!

- [playing solo]

I heard that people

are investing money with you.

Yes, come see me after show.

[woman laughs]

Whoo-hoo!

Great job out there, Lonny.

We did real good moneys today.

- Oh! Nice and thick.

- Nice and thick.

My favorite size.

See you on the bus, Lonny.

She knows I'm married, right?

Be careful.

I heard she gave Jimmy Warsaw crabs.

Oh, come on.

- I'm gonna give this to your mother.

- She loves envelopes.

Especially when it's filled with money.

[laughing]

I was against it, but the bear was genius.

It really adds.

Now you see? Now you trust?

This gonna make Cheryl smile.

[voice quavers]

You saved me, Jan. [sighs]

I'm sorry. You saved me from the Shack.

Mickey, is okay.

Oh, it feels so good to pay my musics

what they deserve.

Get in there. We got some polka to do.

[Mickey] Yeah. Whoo!

[man] Hey, Ron. You got a minute?

- How do you undo on this thing?

- No idea.

We got a call about some guy.

Sounds like he's selling

illegal promissory notes.

Could be a Ponzi scheme.

I got 15 open cases here.

Can't you give it to Angela?

She's got 19 open cases.

Just look into it. It's some polka guy.

- He plays poker?

- Polka.

You know, oom-pah-pah, oom-pah-pah?

[jingles]

Hi, I'm Jan Lewan.

You always wanted to go to Poland

but couldn't go so far?

Now you find Old Country

at Jan Lewan Show Gift Shop.

Here, you find

authentic handcraft costumes...

[Polish folk music playing]

beautiful porcelain...

so precious amber...

good crystal.

All here at Jan Lewan Show Gifts!

At the 21st St. Mini-Mall in Hazleton.

And that is new commercial.

- Ah. [clears throat] Very nice.

- Is better than old one

because more quality and more expensive.

- Yeah, Mr. Lewan...

- Call me Jan.

- Is it "Yan" or "Jan"?

- It's whatever you want.

Which one is it?

I don't know. [chuckles]

[chuckles] Uh...

Mr. Lewan, do you know why I'm here?

No, but I so happy to have you

because we never get black person here,

except UPS lady.

Well, are you taking investments

in something called

"The Jan Lewan Show Gifts, Incorporated"?

Yes, is very good investment

to help build empire.

But you know what? You read all

and see if is right for you.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

I'm not here to invest.

- All investors 100% satisfied.

- I'm here...

We always get more invests,

so everybody make money.

Have you registered with the state

and filed a business prospectus?

I don't think so.

Well, the state must insist that you stop

taking investments immediately.

I not understand. Everybody love.

They're so happy.

Well, unfortunately,

what you are doing... is illegal.

And you can go to jail.

[door opens]

Jan... Excuse me.

I just sold the last pack of pysanky.

It's been there for months.

- I order more.

- [Marla] Okay.

Can I... get you anything?

No, nothing for us, my love.

Can you shut door, please?

- Okay.

- Thank you, my love.

But... [scoffs]

I make the promise to the people.

I pay quarterly interest every time

to them.

You are not registered. You can't do that.

As of today, you have to give

all that money back to your investors.

Today-today, or some other today?

You have three days after notification.

You've been notified.

Okay. No problem.

Uh, in Poland, everybody do bribes.

Do you do bribes?

[chuckles]

[sighs] That's also illegal.

No, I do not do bribes.

Me neither do I. Okay, three days.

Three days.

- I do in two because I love America.

- Hey, who doesn't?

I'm happy we got a chance

to sort this thing out.

Me too, very much.

So happy to sort. [chuckles]

- These things start to snowball.

- No snowballs.

- [chuckles] Please.

- [continues chuckling]

[door opens, closes]

Who was that man today?

- Uh, he was fan.

- Really?

That's kinda neat. Hmm.

It would be great to make some inroads

into the black community.

[Jan] He also from government.

It turn out maybe I'm not doing

everything right with invest.

- Are you in trouble?

- No, no, no, no.

I just need fill out papers and forms.

Well, your handwriting is so bad,

you should let me help you.

You are amazing, special lady

that I love very much.

But, no, I deal with on my own.

[chuckles] Suit yourself.

- I go back to office.

- Come inside and eat something, please.

You have a show tonight.

You've been going all day.

I going a little bit more.

You're coming inside.

[Marla] Jan!

[tires screech]

[Jan] Love you!

[groans]

Everybody polka

Polka all day long

Everybody polka

While you sing this song, hey!

Dooby, dooby, dooby

Dooby dooby-da

Dooby, dooby, dooby

Dooby-da!

- [coin clatters]

- [sighs]

[man] I'm sorry, Janek.

I don't need any deliveries.

Nobody calls.

You need any dishes washed?

We don't have dishes here.

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