The Princess and the Pirate Page #3

Fortunes told. No charge today.

Have your palm read.

Very interesting. I see you have no trouble

opening beer cans.

Out of my cabin, old hag,

or I'll slit your gizzard.

Gizzard? What happened to my gullet?

It's a trick. You'll pay for this, both of you.

Curse you for a lily-livered witch!

You'll dance the devil's hornpipe

at the end of the main yard.

I'll cut out your gizzard this night.

Come on, let's get out of here.

I've got a boat.

Are you all right?

You look like you're gonna faint.

No, I'm all right.

Hurry. We must get to the boat

before it's too late.

Wait a minute. How do you get

to this burg, this Casarouge?

With a ship's compass and a chart

in the dinghy, a fool could follow it.

Are you coming along with us?

Sylvester, please forgive me for thinking

you were a coward. You're a real hero.

Hurry.

- Goodbye, Featherhead.

- Goodbye.

Don't forget to give that envelope

to my cousin at the Boar's Head Inn.

He'll pay you well for your trouble.

You can't miss him. He looks just like me.

He's twice as smart as I am.

A half-wit?

Does the compass say we're on our course?

I don't know.

How do you wind this thing up?

It's a compass. It always points north.

Yeah? It's no good. We're going South.

Why did you do that?

Now how are we going to get there?

Don't worry, I'll work it out. I'm part Indian.

Sylvester, tell me, why did you

risk your life to save mine?

I figured I could use you in my act.

That's the only reason,

so don't keep asking me about it.

Come here. Sit by me.

Now tell me the truth. Why did you expose

yourself to such danger to rescue me?

I don't know. I guess I was so excited,

I forgot I was a coward.

I don't believe you.

I suppose you think I did it

because I'm falling in love with you.

- Are you?

- Don't be silly. Why should I fall for you?

You're talking to Sylvester the Great,

the man of seven faces.

I've got a girl for every face.

Whatever the reason, I owe you a lot more

than I can ever repay.

It was a very brave and noble thing

you did for me.

Yeah, I know.

I must have been out of my mind.

I guess the real reason I did it

is because you're such a nice kid.

Hey, don't do that.

I might get to like that kind of thing.

First thing you know, you'll be wanting

to put your arms around me...

and hug me and kiss me, don't you?

No, it wouldn't be fair to those seven girls

who are in love with you.

- I know how they feel.

- You do?

Because of love, I disobeyed my father...

and ran out on a marriage into

one of the noblest royal families of Europe.

Sure. Next thing you'll be telling me

you're a princess or something.

Maybe you're right, Sylvester. Maybe

it is the next thing I'll be telling you.

Maybe it is.

I'd better get you in out of this cold air.

You're breaking up, kid.

Sylvester, we're here.

It's Casarouge. We've made it.

We did? I told you if you'd relax

and leave it to me, I'd get you here.

How do you feel? Have you still

got those butterflies in your stomach?

- Yeah, but now they're wearing roller skates.

- You'll be all right now.

Let's get up on the dock. I need some rest.

- This town looks like a nice, quiet place.

- Help!

So you're still alive?

Hey, stop him!

Stop them, those two men.

Didn't you see that?

They murdered a man

and tossed the body into the water.

- Why don't you do something?

- It's all right. They have a permit.

They have a... My mistake.

For a moment,

I thought they did something illegal.

It's all right. They have a permit.

Nice characters here.

Everybody in town

must be Featherhead's cousin.

We'll find out soon enough. We should be

at the Boar's Head Inn any moment.

Put 'em up.

- Nice morning, isn't it, citizen?

- Yes, it is.

Hey, look, isn't there something

we can do about that?

I wonder what they do around here

for excitement?

- Sylvester, look.

- I can't stand any more.

Look, the Boar's Head Inn.

Featherhead couldn't have been

entirely insane. There is such a place.

Then he must have a cousin.

Featherhead said he'd pay us.

Let's give him this thing, get the money,

and run out of town while we still got legs.

Good morning.

This is the Boar's Head Inn, isn't it?

Spit it out. What's your business?

We're looking for a gentleman

named Pierre Lamonte.

- We've got something for him.

- You're too late.

He left here yesterday,

said he won't be back for a fortnight.

- We can wait till tomorrow.

- Sylvester, a fortnight is two weeks.

Two weeks? How are we going to live?

What are we going to eat?

We're not satisfied with just anything.

You'll have to put us up

in one of your best suites.

We're very particular about our meals.

And I'm very particular

of getting paid for them in advance.

Monsieur Lamonte is supposed

to have money for us.

- Now, perhaps if we could locate him...

- That ain't likely.

Nobody knows where he goes off to.

But he always comes back

with gold and jewels and money.

Sometimes, I think he ain't honest.

Money. Sometimes, I think we'll wait here

till he gets back.

- Now, if you'll please show us to our rooms.

- Follow me.

Find out where she gets her permanents.

Here you are.

This is the finest room in the inn.

I call it the Peach Bloom suite.

Peach Bloom? When do they

sweep up the pits?

- Is this intended for me?

- Yeah.

- Where's my room?

- This is for both of you.

I think there's been a mistake.

We're not married.

- She's still courting me.

- This is the only room in the inn.

- You can take it or leave it.

- We can always go to another hotel.

- But there is no other hotel.

- But in a place this size, there must be.

Well, there was another hotel...

and it gave me

quite a bit of competition, too...

but only last week,

it burned down mysteriously.

Remind me to wear

my asbestos pajamas tonight.

I see you haven't got much baggage.

In that closet there,

you'll find some clothes.

You can have them if you want them.

They belonged to the last tenant. He died.

- What did he die of?

- Nonpayment of rent.

Natural causes. I hope it's not contagious.

I can't stay here. I've got to get to Jamaica.

Somebody here might recognize me.

What's all this 10, 20, 30 stuff about you?

What's the mystery?

- Who's going to recognize you?

- Why, anyone in Casarouge might.

Sylvester, I must tell you the truth.

I am of royal blood.

I've run away,

and there's a price on my head.

- Take it off and we'll pay the room rent.

- But I tell you, I am the Princess Margaret.

You're a princess?

You better stop smoking that corn silk.

- You're snapping your cap. Princess.

- All right, believe anything you want.

But you've helped me this much.

For heaven's sake, help me get to Jamaica.

I'll reward you handsomely, Sylvester.

I'll pay you 5,000 doubloons.

Sure. You're carrying it in your bustle.

You've had it all the time.

I've got to pick up

a few pennies for us to eat on...

till Featherhead's cousin comes back.

Say, maybe the guy that had this room

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