The Private Life of Don Juan Page #6

Now, why don't you settle down

and be happy?

[ Sneezes ]

I'm all right.

No, you're not.

You look miserable, and you know it.

Now, you ought to have

a place of your own.

Do you know how much

I make out of this inn -

and the farm -

and the vineyard?

- 300 ducats a year.

- [ Sneezes ]

And no relations

to make our lives bitter.

" Our''?

Well, if you don't know

what I'm driving at all this time...

I don't want to marry you at all.

Oh. But you do know very well.

Now, what do you say?

S-S-Seora.

But why do you hesitate?

You've no money...

no looks,

not very much brain.

And you're no chicken.

Well, neither am I.

But you could help me in the business.

You're a nice fellow.

You'd make me a good husband.

We ought to be very happy.

But, s-seora, it is impossible.

[ Laughs ]

Men are so bashful. Why impossible?

S-Seora, I'm a married man already.

Oh.

It needn't be...

exactly marriage.

No, no, no, no. Seora.

It must be marriage!

[ Stammers ]

I'm a man of morals.

You shock me.

No, no. No, no. No, no, seora.

I'm going mad! Leporello! Pedro!

Pedro! Leporello!

Pack up. Pack up. Pack up!

I can't stand it any longer.

We're going back to Seville.

- [ Crowd Chattering ]

- [ Fanfare]

Seville.

What a city to come back to.

[ Laughing ]

What a setting

for the return of Don Juan.

The Private Life of Don Juan.

Only two centavos...

for a hundred scenes from

the life of the world's greatest lover...

including the secret of his sensational

successes in the city of Seville.

Only two centavos for a hundred scenes

from the life of the world's greatest lover...

including the secret of his sensational su -

Seor. The Private Life of Don Juan

in one volume.

No, I'm waiting for the second volume.

- But there isn't one.

- No, but there will be.

[ Whooping ]

[ Man ]

The Private Life of Don Juan.

Only two centavos...

for a hundred scenes from the life

of the world's greatest lover...

including the secret of his sensational

successes in the city of Seville.

Walk up! Walk up!

Walk up and see

the worldwide puppet show.

Showing now, " Don Juan in the Harem''!

Walk up and see

the man with a million mistressesI

Continuous performance.

Well, that's an exaggeration.

[ Man ]

Walk up, walk upI The puppet show is playingI

Walk upI

- [ Chattering, Laughing ]

- [ Man ]...from the life of the world's greatest lover.

The Private Life of Don Juan.

Seora, two centavos.

Wonderful man, Don Juan.

They don't make 'em like that nowadays.

If only he could come back,

God rest his soul...

he'd make some of you young jackanapes

sit up and take notice.

Hmm. And as for we women-

we'll never forget him.

The Private Life of Don Juan.

Nice girl, that.

She's right too.

The question is, how and where

to come back to life?

- It's got to be a sensation.

- It's bound to be.

I have it. The last girl that I kissed in Seville -

that little fifth-rate dancer-

she shall be the first girl

that I kiss tonight.

I'm going to Antonita.

There are seven gentlemen

waiting, seora.

- Is the duke there?

- Yes, seora.

Take the flowers away

and let the duke in.

Very good, seora.

Do you like them?

I adore them.

Oh, no. It's Wednesday.

The day Don Juan

kissed me for the first time.

No one must touch my lips

on a Wednesday.

Forgive me.

Tomorrow?

Maybe.

The flowers for the grave.

Take them to the grave.

[ Sobbing ]

Every day you send flowers

to Don Juan's grave.

You sweet, loyal...

little soul.

[ Man ] Your lovely forms,

twin buds of passion's flower...

do cause such

burning fever in me veins...

and so stir up me blood...

that I can scarce control

me encircling arms.

Stop, stop, stop.

- Well, what do you want now?

- Oh, listen, Seor Martinez.

You must not look out into space.

Look at the ladies.

Hmm. Why?

Because you are Don JuanI

You mean you want me

to give the impression...

that Don Juan was able to make love

to two women at the same time?

Two? Ten!

Twenty! Thirty!

Fifty! A hundred!

You have to radiate such hot virility

that every woman's hand...

goes trembling in search of

her husband's in the dark.

You are Don Juan! Don Juan! Don Juan!

Well, give me real women,

and I'll give you Don Juan.

- Send to the fish market for some women for him.

- And you, seorita -you are cold!

Cold? Me? Anna Doran cold?

- Yes.

- You're the first man who's ever said so.

But you are cold.

Why stand there in frigid dignity?

- And you too, seorita.

- She's got all the lines.

-[ Woman ] What can we do?

- Act. Show what you feel.

The surging blood in your veins.

The frightened longing to approach

this gigantic symbol in front of you.

To touch him...

to inhale his breath -

[ Inhales Deeply ]

to succumb to him...

to Don Juan!

How can I shiver with desire...

for a Don Juan who hasn't as much

sex appeal as a broomstick?

What?

Me? Antonio Martine?

- You! Not a pennyworth.

- [ Laughs ]

[ Laughs ]

Inhale his breath indeed.

Seor Martinez

shouldn't eat garlic for breakfast.

I'm fed up. If you want me to act,

give me actresses, not kitchen maids.

- Oh!

- [ Man ] EnoughI

This is a rehearsal,

not a peace conference.

Go to your places.

Begin the scene again.

And do as the author tells you.

GoI

Your lovely forms,

twin buds of passion's flower...

do cause such burning fever in me veins

and so stir up me blood...

that I can scarce control

me encircling arms!

Bravo! Bravo, ladies!

Bravo, Martinez!

You see? That's Don Juan!

I could kill you

for being so attractive.

[ Screams ]

[ Gasps ]

If Don Alfredo hadn't killed him

and we hadn't buried him...

I might have thought

you were Don Juan.

[ Laughs ]

They didn't kill me

and they didn't bury me.

It pleased me to disappear for a while,

and now I've come back to you...

my little Antonita.

[ Laughing ]

You know, he really is

rather like Don Juan.

Oh, no. Don Juan was much taller

and much younger.

- Yes, six months younger.

- Ten years younger.

And -And he had blue eyes...

and - and a noble presence...

clear-cut nose...

[ Sighs ]

and a different mouth.

[ Laughs ]

A different mouth? Will you try it?

- What are you doing?

- Oh! How dare you!

Not a bit like it,

Don Juan's kiss.

- Get out of here!

- That's quite enough. Get out.

This is outrageous. The real Don Juan would

never have forced his attentions on a woman.

And I won't either. I just want to

teach your young man a lesson.

- Oh, how dare you! I love him!

- [ Laughing ]

Get out of here, you cad,

you cheat, you filthy old man!

Help! Help! Police!

- Oh, my darling.

- What is the matter?

- What's the matter?

- What happened?

Oh, a lunatic.

Calls himself Don Juan.

[ Martine ]

Come, drink a cup to folly as it flies.

Drain every passing pleasure

to the dregs...

while yet the wine of life

runs ruby red...

and women's kisses

call us to the feast!

[ Applause]

" Repent your sins,''

the shaven churchman cries...

"or straightaway plunge

to everlasting fire. ''

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