The Private Life of Don Juan Page #7

A fig, I say,

for such a coward's creedI

I've sinned and loved it,

savored every sin and sinned again.

And who shall say me nay?

Not saint in heaven

nor fiend in hell, I fear.

Where is this nemesis they prate of?

-[ Actor's Voice] HereI

- [ All Screaming ]

There he is.

Oh.

Isn't he a darling?

Yes, the scoundrel.

[ Martine ]

What is the news in hell?

[ Actor's Voice]

They want you there.

For the last time, Don Juan, repentI

[ Martine ] HaI That for repentanceI

That for hell and youI

-[ Women Screaming ]

- Stop this foolery!

Once and for all,

I forbid you to perform this nonsense!

- Ladies and gentlemen, the play is over!

- [ Audience Murmuring ]

Permit me to bid you

a very good night.

[ Murmuring Continues ]

Get back!

- What?

- [ Women Screaming ]

- W-What do you want? Who are you?

- Who are you?

[ All Shout ]

Who are you?

Your very humble servant,

Don Juan.

- The real Don JuanI

- [ All Laughing ]

[ Laughter Continues ]

- Ladies and gentlemen -

- [ Laughter Quiets ]

you are under the delusion

that Don Juan is dead.

He is not. He's alive.

I am Don Juan.

[ Laughter Resumes ]

Yes, yes, of course, of course.

But, you see, this is a theater.

You must leave the stage. Now, come with me.

Ohh -

Don't you understand that I am Don Juan?

Don't you believe me?

Yes, yes, yes!

Of course we believe you.

- But look here, since Don Juan died -

- I keep telling you I did not die!

Well, since we buried you

half a year ago...

23 men have tried

to impersonate Don Juan.

[ Laughing ]

I am the 2 4th.

And you are disgusting.

- So get out! Get out! All of you, get out!

- [ All Screaming, Shouting ]

Ladies and gentlemen,

there's nothing more to see, so good night.

We want to see the end of the play!

Get out!

[ All Shouting, Arguing ]

- Get out! They want to see the end of the play!

- Who are you?

- I am the author of the play.

- Are you?

Ladies and gentlemen, here is a man

who has written the most insipid...

the most senseless,

the most slanderous play of our age.

Why senseless? Why slanderous?

Because you lied about my life.

You threw mud at my character.

- Yours?

- Mine! Don Juan!

Ladies and gentlemen, do you care that much

about Don Juan's real life and real character?

[ All Shouting, Laughing ]

No!

You've made me behave like a fool.

Do you suppose that I ever made love

to two women at the same time?

You, no, but Don Juan -

What do you think, ladies?

[ All Shouting, Laughing ]

Yes!

He thinks it's impossible.

He couldn't even manage one!

[ All Laughing ]

See? That's how much you know

about being Don Juan. Now get out!

I'll teach you all!

Get out of here! Get out!

-[ Audience Shouting ]

- Bring down the curtain!

Ladies and gentlemen-

Ladies and gentlemen...

six months ago

I was here for a few days.

Twenty years ago I lived here.

Does nobody recognie me?

- [ Audience Shouting ] No!

- [ All Chattering ]

No ladies?

There's Estraya!

She must recognize Don Juan!

-[ Man ] Where?

-[ Woman ] There. That's Estraya.

Estraya.

I was Don Juan's first love...

but I can't remember you.

Well, how could you remember me...

among half the male population

of Spain and South America?

- Sit down!

- Oh! Ohh!

[ Audience Laughing ]

Ladies and gentlemen -

There's Don Alfredo, who killed you!

[ Audience Murmuring ]

Oh, so you're the man.

I've been just aching to meet you.

-Is he Don Juan?

- [ Audience ] Is he Don Juan?

Ridiculous. The whole world

knows I killed Don Juan.

You killed a poor boy...

because a terribly bored wife

mistook him for Don Juan.

How do you know?

H-How could she?

Because, my dear sir, there are wives

that will see Don Juan in any other man.

Alfredo, he insults my honor.

Kill him.

[ Don Juan ]

Yes, come on, kill meI Kill Don JuanI

I killed Don Juan,

and nobody can take that from us.

I owe it to his memory not to soil my sword

fighting a swindler...

who tries to impersonate

a great manI

- Come on! Come on!

- [ Audience Applauding, Shouting ]

- Call the police!

- [ Shouting Continues ]

Seize that man!

Seize him! Seize him!

My hero.

Take it down. Take it down.

Give me my rapier!

Wait!

Ladies and gentlemen,

we can now settle this matter finally.

We have the honor to have in our midst

the one person who can do it -

the widow of Don Juan,

the real Don Juan.

For years she has lived on her estate,

for six months in Seville.

She will now tell you whether

this gentleman is Don Juan-yes or no.

Now, Doa Dolores...

will you kindly tell us,

who is this man?

Well, there is a likeness

to Don Juan...

but my poor husband

was so much bigger...

and broader

and far better looking.

No, I've never seen this man before

in my life.

[ Audience Shouting, Whistling ]

All right, let's go.

- Get out of here!

- [ Shouting Continues ]

[ Shouting Quiets ]

And now, ladies and gentlemen...

the play can go on!

[ Cheering, Applause ]

It's all right, Don Juan.

Don't worry.

You've found someone

who understands.

But, you see, I am Don Juan.

Of course you are.

I am Don Juan.

He is Don Juan.

Everybody's Don Juan in Seville

when the bullfights are on...

and the wine is flowing.

Sleep well, Don Juan.

[ Chuckles ]

Ah, Leporello, it is a lovely play.

Will you take a message

to Captain Mariano?

- Captain Mariano?

- Yes.

Certainly, Doa Dolores.

I should like to see him

to talk about poor Don Juan.

He may come to me directly

he's released from jail.

Come on, Don Juan.

I hope it's taught you a lesson.

You country folk have to learn manners

in a town like Seville.

Go away and behave yourself.

- Captain Mariano, I believe?

- Yes, seora.

You knew my poor husband,

Captain Mariano?

I did, seora, very well.

Well, I'm glad you did,

because I never did.

- You never knew your husband?

- Hardly at all.

Imagine, after a few months of love

he avoided me.

I can tell you, seora,

he had absolute confidence in your loyalty.

Well, he couldn't have

been such a fool.

- A fool to have confidence in your loyalty?

- Certainly.

He never knew very much about women,

but he must have known...

that he couldn't offend and neglect

a woman like me for years with impunity.

You are right, seora.

In his heart he was

always fearful of losing you.

Well, why didn't he

come back to me then?

Men are very weak, seora, very vain.

During all his life

he was terribly afraid of intelligent women.

- Why?

- Well, they strip a man of his glory...

and tame the conquering male

until he becomes just a husband.

Oh, I see. He was afraid

he wouldn't be happy as my husband.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

No, seora.

Latterly his only wish...

was to disappear

from the scene of his...

successes...

and, nameless and unknown,

to come and tell you -

Will you come to my estates?

Don Juan is dead. I don't want

to be anything but your husband.

Dolores!

- DoloresI

-[ Knocking On Door]

[ Knocking Continues ]

Dolores!

Leporello,

what does she mean by this?

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