The Reluctant Fundamentalist Page #6

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of your pen,

thousands of people

lose their livelihoods.

Abu, you know what?

A lot of people...

middle-class people,

shareholders...

they all benefit

from what I do.

You tell yourself

what you want to.

You see your mother's handiwork?

If I told you the amount

your Ammi had to work with,

you wouldn't believe me.

What is it?

- Nothing.

- What, nothing?

Nothing?

Never choke on a true word, son.

Well, she had some assistance.

What do you mean?

I mean that this job of mine

that you don't see the point of

actually helped to create

this celebration, all right?

- Excuse me.

- No, no, Abu.

I'm just trying to tell you

that this work of mine

can be useful to us.

You've made your point very well.

Thank you.

# You say things

to burn the heart... #

# You speak of a nest

now broken... #

# You inflict such suffering... #

# Yet say I must smile... #

My wisest ally, and I'd cut

him to the quick.

Only his pride.

Please, Changez,

don't let yours get in the way

of doing the right thing.

What would you have me do?

Help us find Rainier.

Changez...

Work with us.

The agency has discretionary funds

for this kind of thing.

We can protect your family,

relocate them.

Bobby, you promised

to listen to me, didn't you?

Did you not hear

a word I just said?

There are some things

that money cannot fix.

When I returned

to America,

I found that the life

I was building

had begun to slip out of reach.

Should get this guy a razor.

Yeah, hi, Erica, it's me.

Can you pick up, please?

I haven't heard from you

in a few days now.

And I don't know what kind of

magical artistic masterpieces

you're cooking up,

but I miss you.

Hi.

Hi, sweetie.

Ah, that is the sound

I wanted to hear!

Okay, listen.

Hear me out.

I know you're on a deadline.

My show's in three days.

Look, I'm so under

the gun right now.

I just... I can't talk.

- Okay, but dinner.

Just dinner.

I haven't even told you

about the wedding.

They loved your present.

Please don't make me feel guilty.

Okay, your work

is important to you.

Okay, but I don't get to choose

when to take time off; you do.

So, like, one hour

is all I'm asking for.

I had a Pakistani once,

and he was very supportive.

Hey.

Hey yourself, werewolf.

Not sure what's going on

with the beard situation,

but it's starting to freak

some people out around here.

I don't understand.

But Dr. Phil has a mustache.

What? It reminds me

of where I come from.

Jerk chicken reminds me

of where I come from,

but I'm not smearing it

all over my face.

Maybe you should.

You have a message.

Happy Eid, son.

Happy Eid.

The house is no fun without you.

There's no power either.

We'll eat in the dark tonight.

Thinking of you, baita.

Abu also.

Much love.

Happy Eid.

Quite a beard.

That's getting to be some

very serious mullah action.

I want you to get me

two glasses of the crystal...

So we've got to evaluate

a prestige publisher

in Istanbul for a conglomerate.

And guess what.

You are the chosen one.

Thank you.

The directors agreed with me.

We're upping you.

You are the youngest associate

in the history of Underwood Samson.

Although, I do believe

appearances are important.

Success requires...

some adjustment

in that department.

Underwood, Samson,

and The Mighty Khan.

Oh, no partners.

Just Khan. I'm a dictator,

remember?

Mm.

Motherf***er.

Next time you want to see me,

call my secretary, okay?

Up yours.

I'm not going to take

medication!

No more medication.

There's a crazy Arab guy

in midtown Manhattan.

Long-distance killer!

Why he get all credit?

Yeah, 53rd and Lexington.

Homegrown!

We are homegrown bombers!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

- We're homegrown bombers!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

- We are homegrown bomb...

Bomb your children!

You bastard!

Hey!

He's crazy.

Hey!

Hold up!

You in the black coat,

stop right there.

- I didn't do...

- Hands on the car.

- I didn't do anything.

- Put your hands on the car.

The guy you're looking for

is back there.

Yeah, we'll get him.

- I work on the 53rd floor...

- Hands down.

Of that building,

Underwood Samson.

Why don't you just check?

Why don't you just...

- Officer, please.

- Spread your legs!

You got any weapons on you?

Don't do this, man.

Ain't doing nothing

but my job, little man.

Ow, man!

Uh-uh!

Get your hands off me!

Uh!

Wait right here.

I'm Special Agent Ford.

This is Special Agent Jackson.

This is inexcusable.

I'd like to see my lawyer, please.

Are you refusing to talk

to us?

No, you picked up

the wrong guy,

and I'm sick of this sh*t.

I want to see my lawyer.

You ever been to the Philippines?

I work at Underwood Samson.

I was inspecting a company there

as a financial analyst.

You ever had any combat

training in Afghanistan?

Of course I've never had

combat training,

and I've never set foot

in Afghanistan!

Don't get upset.

I am upset. I'm upset

about my treatment.

I'm not a f***ing terrorist.

Have you ever been a member

of a terrorist organization?

Okay, you know what?

I'm sick of having to try

and prove a negative,

so why don't you either

charge me with something

or let me go?

How do you feel about the

United States of America?

Agent Ford,

I love the United States of America.

Hey, baby, I can't wait to see you

at my opening tonight.

And the gallery's on the corner

of Crosby and Prince.

Okay, I'll see you.

Hey, Marina!

Hi, sugar.

I'm alone.

I'm very, very alone.

I want to forget.

Ladies and gentlemen, a reminder:

never accept a parcel or bag

from a third party

for any reason.

I want to forget.

Never leave your baggage

unattended.

- Hors d'oeuvres?

- Oh, no, I'm vegan.

I had a Pakistani once...

I'm glad... I'm glad

you're enjoying it.

Good to see you.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Good to see you.

Ah.

- This is amazing.

- Thank you.

Changez?

Changez!

I'm so happy you're here.

I don't recognize my

own voice anymore.

What have you done?

It's... what do you mean?

This is us.

It's about us.

From you too now?

You're the one goddamn person

I trusted in this city,

and now I get this sh*t,

this f***ing sh*t

from you too now?

Hmm?

- I don't...

I thought... I thought...

I thought you'd be proud of me.

- Why would I be proud?

What?

Proud of being your own

little pet artistic project?

Can we please take this outside?

- No, what?

Was that the idea?

Huh?

How chic! How chic!

"I'm gonna date a Pakistani

after 9/11,

and it's gonna be great

for my bohemian street cred. "

Is that the idea?

- That's completely unfair.

"I f***ed the 20th hijacker"?

Huh?

I'm like the ultimate downtown

status symbol right now.

Is that it? You're just

gonna walk away?

That's all you got to say

for yourself?

I mean, are your feelings so pure?

Would you have

been interested in me

if my uncle wasn't your CEO

or if my mother lived in Queens

instead of Park and 85th?

- Are you kidding me?

You're a sick girl.

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