The Return of the Living Dead Page #2

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- No.

- Why not?

- It might freak out his boss.

That's not nice.

What does he think we are,

weird or something?

- What time does Freddy get off?

- 10:
00.

- I ain't sittin' here two f***in' hours.

- We could go drive around.

- I don't got gas. You wanna buy some?

- I was kidding.

- We could go fool around in there.

- You mean that cemetery?

Let's do that.

What do you want to do,

turn over gravestones?

No, I just want to look around

the graveyard.

I ain't never seen one before.

- You never been to a funeral?

- I never knew nobody that died.

I don't think this is a good idea.

- What's that?

- Road flares, ass-wipe.

- What do you want with those?

- I just want to party.

What are the road flares for?

This place is a mess.

- It looks like your pad, Scuz.

- I heard that.

Frank?

Are you okay, kid?

I don't know. I don't feel so good.

Christ, what a stink.

- What the hell happened to the body?

- It must have melted when it hit the air.

Close the goddamn thing.

Christ, I never smelled anything

like that before.

I think I'm gonna be sick.

I don't guess

we'd better tell Burt about this.

- It makes us look stupid or something.

- I can still smell that stuff.

It must be in my nose

or all over everything.

I'd better spray some deodorant

around here.

What was that?

Sounds like a dog.

A dog?

Wait a second. Listen. You hear that?

What the hell's going on here?

What's wrong with him?

Sh*t!

- What are we gonna do?

- We're gonna kill it!

What are you doing? Stop!

Jesus!

- Are we f***ed? What's happening?

- The cadaver.

- What's it doing in there?

- I don't know. It sounds sore.

- What are we going to do?

- Lock it in.

Hurry! Jesus Christ!

We gotta think.

Come on, son, get in there!

Jesus Christ!

- Are we going crazy?

- No, it's that crap from the tanks.

The goddamn chemicals,

it's all over everything.

- Stupid a**hole!

- Watch your tongue if you like this job.

- Like this job?

- Think!

- We got to tell the cops.

- No, you don't want to call them.

You know what they'd do to the company?

- Who cares about the company?

- Our reputation!

- F*** your reputation.

- Think!

What about the number on the tank?

- It said, "Call in case of an emergency."

- No, that's the army.

You don't want the goddamn

army around this place. Think!

- What are we gonna do?

- What are we gonna do?

We're gonna call the boss.

Burt? Frank.

We have a little problem.

Do you ever fantasize...

about being killed?

Never.

Do you ever wonder about

all the different ways of dying...

you know, violently...

and wonder what

would be the most horrible way to die?

I try not to think about dying too much.

For me...

the worst way...

would be for a bunch of old men...

to get around me...

and start biting...

and eating me alive.

I see.

First...

they would tear off my clothes.

Let's get some light over here.

Trash is taking off her clothes again.

Throw it, baby.

Are you high on anything?

You opened it? You stupid moron.

What's the matter with you?

Haven't I always told you never

even to go near those goddamn tanks?

- What are we gonna do?

- Tell you what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna be sued by the company,

investigated by the government.

I might become famous,

might lose my business.

I might even go to jail, goddamn it.

That's what I'm gonna do.

On the other hand, we destroy all the

evidence and we keep our mouths shut.

That's it! Let's do that.

That's what we got to do.

One question.

This guy screaming in here,

you're sure he's a dead cadaver?

- Why don't you open the door and find out?

- I'm sorry. I'll take your word for that.

If it is a reanimated body,

we'll have to kill it.

- How do you kill something that's dead?

- How do I know?

- I don't know, let me think.

- It's not a bad question.

In that movie, they destroyed

the brain to kill them. Right?

The brain, right.

- What do doctors use to crack skulls with?

- Surgical drills.

Here, hold this.

Now listen to me very carefully.

Freddy, you'll open that door.

Come here, stand right over here.

Frank, right here.

When it comes out, brain it with the axe.

Jesus!

How am I gonna stop it from moaning?

What's the matter with you?

Come here. Get down there.

Stand by the door.

- It's gonna be all right, son.

- I don't think I can do this.

You damn well better.

You got us into this.

Jesus!

All right, Freddy. 22, right.

Be brave, Frank, goddamn it!

4, left.

10, right.

Get him off!

Coming.

Hold it!

- What the hell's going on, Burt?

- The brain!

I hit the f***ing brain!

Then do something else,

for goddamn-it-to-hell's sake.

Hold him down.

I can't stand this any longer.

- Sh*t!

- Hold him down now!

What are you gonna do?

- Be a man!

- I can't stand this, you son of a b*tch.

Hurry up!

I'll get him.

I got him. Get a rope!

- Where the f***'s a rope?

- I don't know. Get one. Hold him down!

- Hang on to the son of a b*tch!

- Christ, it ain't dying.

I thought you said

if we destroyed the brain, it'd die!

- It worked in the movie.

- It ain't working now.

- You mean the movie lied?

- Jesus.

- How are we gonna kill it?

- Maybe you can't. Maybe it won't die.

We just got to destroy it completely

until there's nothing left.

Acid.

- What kind of acid would dissolve a body?

- Sulfuric acid, maybe.

No, aqua regia, that's stronger.

But what if it doesn't dissolve everything,

like the bones?

Sh*t!

What are we gonna do?

Where are you going?

Sometimes Ernie Kaltenbrunner

works late on Fridays.

Who's Ernie Kaltenbrunner?

He's the embalmer

at the mortuary across the street.

- What the hell's he gonna do for us?

- His light's on. He's in.

Ernie's got a crematorium

across the street.

A crematorium, that's beautiful.

- Think you can get him to go along with it?

- I don't know. I've known him for 25 years.

He might do it out of friendship.

What the hell are you gonna tell him?

I mean, can you trust that bastard?

I don't think we have a choice.

How we gonna get this thing over there?

Give me the bone saw.

Why don't you put your clothes on?

The show's over.

What's the matter?

Does it make you nervous?

I'm hot.

- You are hot.

- Scram, wimp.

Nobody understands me, you know that?

I f***in' bust my ass for you guys,

and what do I get?

"You're spooky."

F*** you, man. F*** you all.

I like it spooky.

I got somethin' to say, you know?

What do you think this is all about?

You think this is a f***in' costume?

This is a way of life!

Yes.

What's wrong with you, man?

Show some f***ing respect for the dead.

Is that Freddy?

- Where?

- Over there, going into that building.

Nope. That is not Freddy.

- How would you know?

- Why would he be going into a mortuary?

What do you say, Ernie?

- Take it easy.

- Sorry, I didn't hear you.

Fast on the draw.

- You are working late tonight.

- Pretty much. Kind of...

What time is it? You want a cup of coffee?

- No, thank you. I'm all right.

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