The Rewrite Page #11

I'd be honoured.

But if it were to become a movie,

Meryl Streep should play me.

Yes, I will read it with that in mind.

But don't take it.

That's my personal copy.

- Sorry.

- I'll email you.

Now, I have to prepare for a class...

Yes, yes, yes.

So if you don't mind...

Nice bag.

- Please leave.

- Yes.

Hello?

What, you walked out on the meeting?

I did. How'd it go otherwise?

Well they loved Clem,

and they're making the deal.

Fantastic. Listen, I will be very happy

to work with him on the script,

but only as his teacher.

So now you want to stay in Binghamton?

Well, I've been thinking.

Maybe I will write a screenplay

about a washed-up writer

who goes to teach

at an out-of-the-way university.

You know what?

That is a great idea for Matt Damon.

I'm going to call his producing partner,

and I'm going to call you back.

Excellent. But not between

12:
00 and 1:30.

I have class and will not be

picking up the phone.

Thanks.

$16.98.

Dumb. Buy an umbrella

on the first sunny day.

- It's raining.

- It's going to clear up.

I see.

So, it appears that I'm going

to stay here and teach for a bit.

And I would also like to buy this book.

- $24.95.

- Yeah, complete rip-off. OK, forget the book.

- Will there be anything else?

- Yes.

I don't think you're an

optimism machine.

I know how hard you work at being a mum

and a student and I'm in awe.

I'm completely in awe. And...

Although I was only gone for a few hours,

I found myself missing you.

Now it's quite possible that

if I'd stayed away a few more hours

I'd have just completely got over that,

but now we'll never know.

So the answer is yes, I'm hoping

that there will be something else.

Much more else.

Right. Well, then,

I will see you in class.

But, in looking over my script,

I did see what you meant

about the random structuring.

And I'm not so sure where the

Jerry character fits in any more.

Well, that's very encouraging to hear.

I mean, not for Jerry, obviously.

And it makes me think that if I just try as hard

as I can and really, really believe in myself,

I can make my dreams come true.

You know, when you say it,

it really does sound ridiculous.

Maybe it's the accent.

What? Yes, I'm sorry. Go ahead.

That can't be right.

Oh, it's right.

What'd I tell you? Worth the wait.

OK, I just want you to know...

I will respect the fact that you are my

student until the end of the semester.

OK. Thank you.

When is the end of the semester?

Oh, you'll know.

No, no, no. Thank you.

Thanks, that's truly...

Oh, Billy! Yes, welcome back!

Welcome back, Billy.

And for those of you who were looking forward

to the poetic charms of Clara Foss...

I apologise. I'm back.

Back from New York,

where if you don't know already.

Clem has just sold his

first script to Hollywood.

You deserve it.

Your writing's brilliant.

I would also like to say that today

we will be taking a look

at some new and truly exciting pages

from Karen Gabney.

With regard to my premature departure

from our last class...

I'm sorry. The truth is...

Somewhat complicated.

Well it's my third act, I suppose,

and I will let you see it

when I have finished my teacher script.

And I will want your complete

and honest opinions.

Though I will vastly prefer

the people who love it.

Good, let's get back to work.

I think we were on... Hey, hang on.

There will be no more of that.

You have my full attention

from here on in.

OK, third acts.

Andrea, tell us what happens during

the dessert phase of the Bat Mitzvah.

OK. So they bring the cake out and they

find out that the cake isn't kosher.

But Alicia's parents start fighting

and accusing each other

of getting the wrong caterer because

there are also pigs in a blanket.

And Alicia starts crying

because she realises

that she doesn't care about the cake.

She just wants her parents to be happy.

And she insists on doing her Torah

and her Haftarah portions over again

and it just gets so crazy.

A-ha! "How dost thou, sweet lord?"

Keith! You're back!

May I introduce Joan from State Farm.

Yes. Hello Joan.

He's quite a catch, isn't he?

He's low-risk, dependable,

limited-liability.

"Thank Heaven, fasting,

for a good man's love."

As You Like It. Act III, Scene V.

It just gets me when he does that.

"Ken's dead. He's dead now.

"He'll be dead in two hours,

and then he'll be dead forever.

"TOM:
Will you marry me?

"MAURA:
You're thick and stupid.

"You can't see the darkness

that surrounds you.

"TOM:
You make me feel alive.

"MAURA:
That won't last."

"CAROL:
Daddy, I think you should know,

I'm sleeping with your business partner."

The other day, she comes

and climbs up on my lap

with a book and she says, "Daddy, will you

read me this book in your scary voice?"

Oh, Sara.

OK. I admit I never watched it before.

- But when Johnny lifts her at the end...

- No, I know, it's very moving.

If you tell anyone, I'll kill you.

Yeah, understood. Yeah, 100%.

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