The Rise & Fall of a White Collar Hooligan Page #6

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- F***, look at me. I'm shaking.

Just make sure it doesn't happen again.

I'm gonna have to now. Otherwise I'm

gonna end up in the f***ing Thames!

Mate, just be a bit more alert, OK?

Keep your head down and you'll be fine.

I've gotta get out of here, and I need

to stop doing this f***ing sh*t!

Mike, you can't leave. You leave now,

it looks like you staged the robbery.

- I don't care! I don't f***ing care!

- Well, you should care, Mike.

I was f***ing shot at today.

Do you understand what that means?

I was f***ing shot at! And now

that c*nt, he wants to f***ing kill me!

I'm gonna f***ing go and get what I've

earned, I'm gonna get back with Katie

and go and get the f***

out of this f***ing sh*t.

I'm over my head, Ed!

You can't leave, Mike.

What did you think was gonna happen?

You think you can just

hand in your notice

and these guys

will give you a reference?

It doesn't work like that, Mike!

Play the long game.

Be a bit smart here, mate

If you're gonna disappear,

you've gotta do it quickly.

And if you're gonna f*** off, you may

as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb.

- I don't know what the f*** that means.

- It means we should wait, Mike.

We should wait until it's worth leaving.

You're not the only person

in over your head, Mike.

Dan didn't die of an overdose.

He got greedy.

[gunshot]

- You f***ing killed him!

- I didn't kill him but I saw it happen!

And I couldn't do anything!

Listen to me.

The boss trusts me. He trusts me.

Every week he's getting me to move

larger and larger sums of money.

Every week.

I'm talking two million quid.

Every week I've got two million quid.

Every week, in my hands.

So if you're serious about going,

what I'm saying to you is

let's pick the moment.

We should get back.

Yeah, go on. I'll be all right.

Jesus f***ing Christ.

[Ed] Listen, mate, just make sure

you hold fire over what we talked about.

{promised Katie I'd look after you

and that's exactly what I'm gonna do

We just have to pick the right time.

Oh, you f***ing dick.

[phone buzzes]

- Hello?

- [man] Hello, mate. You all right?

- Who's that?

- It's your favourite busy copper.

You haven't backed a rotten,

have you?

- Where the f*** are you?

- Never you mind.

What d'you want?

I'm just making sure you ain't spent

all your money on the gee-gees.

I wouldn't want you to run out

I'm not doing anything illegal any more,

so get the f*** off my phone,

stop harassing me.

It's all right, fella.

I'm not harassing you.

I'm just letting you know

that time's running out.

Yeah? How d'you figure that?

Look, if you just want someone

to look after you,

I just wanna let you know,

well, you know, I'm here.

Witness protection?

You out of your f***ing mind, mate?

Well, if you change your mind,

you know where I am.

Thanks for the offer.

I'm all right where I am.

Yeah, I'm sure you are.

F***.

What's up?

What's up is I just sprayed liquid soap

onto my crotch in the bathroom,

so now it looks like

I've spanked myself.

No, I meant with the text.

Uh... It's happening. Robinson wants

to move a whole lot of cash next week.

Wants me to take it to a port up

in Scotland. And I am not gonna do it.

- What?

- This is our chance, mate.

This is our way to get out

Let's f*** off to Rio.

Stash what we can

for the next week and go.

You're f***ing mad, mate.

What if we got caught?

If we get caught,

I've got a horrible feeling we find out

what our testicles taste like,

but we're not

because it's just me and it's just you,

nobody to f*** it up for us.

Just get your sh*t together.

We've got a week.

After the Cup Final tomorrow,

I'll sort everything out.

The Cup Final. That reminds me.

I only managed to get one ticket.

- F*** off. No, f*** off.

- I know, mate. Genuinely.

- Ticket tout ran out of tickets.

- Yeah, I bet he did, yeah.

I genuinely could only get one.

Mind you, the one ticket

is in the executive box.

I know what you're doing.

This is f***ing Paris all over again.

- I could genuinely only get one ticket.

- We'll flip for it.

- We're not flipping for anything.

- We'll flip for it.

Last time you ended six months

inside a Paris jail.

- You wanna do that again?

- No.

- I've got a job for you anyway.

- What's that?

A collection. You've gotta go up north.

Get some credit-card cloning equipment

that Robinson lent a firm up north.

They've held onto it

a week longer than they should.

He's just getting a bit pissy about it.

Just need somebody to get it.

OK, that's fantastic. So while I'm doing

this, you're going to the Cup Final.

That's f***ing fair?

Do you wanna be a hooligan all your life

or do you wanna be a winner?

- Yeah, a winner.

- Really?

I'm gonna be a football hooligan,

you loser.

Ooh, important call.

Hold on one second.

F***ing d*ckhead.

Well, what d'you think?

I don't know

if I can just leave like that.

Baby, please.

I'm trying to get out of this.

And if you're with me,

I think I can do it.

Sorry, Mike.

I think you've gotta do this one alone.

[Nicey Pricey] Hang on!

F*** me. What, heavy night, was it?

Yeah, something like that.

What time is it?

It's just a bit before midday.

What, did I get you out of bed?

- Yeah.

- Can I come in for a sec?

Um...

Yeah, come in.

So what do I owe

the early morning wake-up call to?

Do you wanna move

to another country with me?

What?

I said do you wanna move

to another country with me?

No.

OK. You're not even

gonna think about it?

I've given it enough consideration.

I don't wanna move

to another country with you

as much as I don't wanna marry you.

"We" are not an "us", Mike.

Yeah, well, I just thought, like.

Look, I don't know what trouble

you're in or soon to be in,

but I don't want a part of it.

I don't want nothing to do with it.

- Yeah. Just in it for good times, then?

- Come on.

Don't act all hurt and surprised.

You knew what I was about

the first time you met me.

You came into this with eyes wide open.

My money and your tits.

Suppose that was the deal.

You know, I don't even know

what I was f***ing thinking. I just...

It's just nice to have someone,

you know?

Yeah, I get that,

but that someone ain't me, babe.

Let me ask you something.

What's my name?

- Nicey Pricey.

- What's my real name?

You just asked someone

you don't know their proper name

to go and live abroad with 'em.

It's not me you should be asking.

- Well, she said no.

- Course she's gonna say no.

Any girl that actually is in love with

you is gonna make you fight for it.

What do you mean?

Classy girls cost more

than a Bacardi Breezer, Mike.

So you think I can persuade her?

Yeah. Well, we had some fun, didn't we?

We did have some fun times.

We had some very fun times,

and I am gonna miss you.

But... you need to go and talk

to the girl you should be talking to,

not me.

Goon.

Hey, babe, it's me. Could you give me

a call back when you get this, please?

I was just hoping we could talk.

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