The Rocker Page #3

Yes, do you have auditions?

Thank you.

Thank you. You're closed?

Okay. I'll try back.

Oh, what are you doing here?

I'm working on a song.

Oh, uh-oh. Look out, everybody.

Genius at work.

Lennon and McCartney

rolled into one.

- I'd like to get back to work.

- How many songs in that book?

Probably 211.

Wow.

That's like 500 albums.

I was never so much of a songwriter.

More of a name-the-band kind of guy.

Different skill set. Still important.

Can I look at what you are writing?

Dude, we are a band, okay?

Bands share everything.

- Deodorant. Buses. Chicks.

- I'd just rather not.

- We're like a family.

- No.

I'll be gentle.

Okay.

- These are some great lyrics.

- Thank you.

"Tomorrow never comes."

So true. I don't understand it,

but that's heavy, man.

- Thanks.

- That's good stuff.

Thank you.

So your dad took off

when you were just a little kid?

Mm. That must have been tough.

You miss what you never knew.

- What are you doing?

- That's good.

- "You miss what you never knew."

- It is? You like it?

- Yeah.

- And you can have it, gratis.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

Are you gonna finish that?

- Yeah.

- Thank you.

- So any luck getting us a gig?

- Yeah.

It's just about finding

the right showcase.

It's just focusing

on the perfect showcase.

No one likes the demo.

I mean, it's stupid to think anybody

but me would be into it.

What? This music is great,

and I can prove it.

- How?

- Let's ride.

This, my friend,

is called the drive test.

If we can drive around

with no place to go...

...blast the music, and feel like we're

on top of the world...

...then we know

we're onto something.

Sing it.

Like you mean it!

Come on.

Right?

How do you come up with

those rhymes? "Busted, trusted."

I don't know how you come up with it.

I like this part.

Isn't it something, Cleveland?

A.D. D!

- This guy!

- And this guy!

- Mosh pit!

- Mosh?

Slam dance!

It does make you feel invincible, huh?

Like everything is possible now!

And you know what?

If we can bring that to an audience,

even for four and a half minutes...

...then we've got something.

Give me your phone.

Make it turn into a camera.

- That? Okay.

- Yeah.

Give me a rebel yell on three.

Three, two, one!

That is the moment we knew

we were gonna be huge.

Whoo!

Hello?

Yeah, hold on a sec. Robert!

Ow!

- Robert!

I'm busy.

- Phone!

Jeez.

Now.

I think it's about a job.

How could it not be about a job?

One of those ones I've been

looking so hard for.

Hello, this is Fish. What?

What? Yeah! No, hold on.

Hold on.

Yeah.

- Gone... That's what I did.

- Yeah, but you sing the harmony.

Oh, jeez.

That needs to be fixed.

God.

I have news...

...but you know what?

Before I reveal said news...

...we need to work on some things,

including stage presence.

Why? Because A.D.D. has a gig.

- What?

- A gig?

A gig! Yes!

- Whoo!

- Yes!

We are playing the Tiger Room

in Fort Wayne, Indiana...

...Saturday night. We are hitting

the "muh-huh-fuh-ing" road.

Oh, Indiana.

My mom's not gonna let me

go to Indiana.

- No, my mom's not gonna let me go.

Listen up, kiddies.

You don't ask your parents

for permission to rock.

You think The Beatles went to

their mums and dads:

"Hello, Mum. Hello, Dad.

May I have permission to go

with my mates...

...to a little pub

called Shea Stadium...

...and rock the world

for the rest of eternity?" No!

They were adults! You're an ad...

They were adults.

- What about the church-retreat excuse?

- What's that?

It's like, " Mom, Dad, I really wanna go

on this church retreat...

...that I heard about so that I can learn

about the Bible...

...you know, and meet other teenagers

who share my interest in the Bible."

- Ha. This works?

Yeah.

You just print up a fake flyer

on Photoshop...

...show it to your parents,

and you're at a show.

Give it up

right now, daughter of Beelzebub.

Hit me.

Nothing. Nothing.

You're a tough cookie...

...but I'm gonna get a smile

out of you yet.

Smiling is for the weak.

I can't believe

we're stealing my mom's car.

It's not stealing when you're family.

But still, don't tell your mom.

Hop in.

I'm so nervous.

- Did you just sneeze on my face?

- No, that wasn't me.

What you working on?

You going to ask to hear something

every time you see me writing?

Pretty much, yep.

- It's called "Bitter."

- Butter?

"Bitter."

It's a song?

- Yeah, it's a song.

- Let's hear some.

It goes:

And it goes on like that.

Well, the cyanide and razor blades

are in the glove box. Help yourself.

- Come on. Hey. Hey. Hey.

- What?

It's really good stuff. It's like poetry.

I just wanna say, I am so excited

we're on the road.

We are doing it.

We're living our dream.

This is it. This is what it's about,

living our dream.

You know, we don't stop.

We don't stop for anything. We just...

I'd better stop.

Come on, Robert. Let's go.

I can't believe you called

the cops on me.

- You stole my car, Robert.

- I topped off your fluids.

Oh, get a job!

I had a job, an awesome gig

that was gonna pay $ 100...

...until you reported your car missing.

- Oh, take responsibility!

You!

- So long, Mattie.

- So long...

Don't talk!

You are not allowed to speak!

You are not allowed to drive...

In fact, to do anything

for the rest of the summer.

You can take away the wheels

and his right to free speech...

...but you cannot take away

the dream.

Damn right.

Shut up, Stan.

Get out of my house, Robert.

Hey, Fish, Fish, Fish. Listen.

I'm really sorry she made me drop

a dime on you.

It's okay, buddy.

Hey, give me the heavy-metal

devil horns.

Now lock them with me.

My brother.

Oh, man, thanks for letting me

stay here, Mr. Lee.

I really appreciate it.

Yeah, those rice bags look comfortable.

Fish, no one has eaten

more takeout than you.

You put my kids through college.

You stay until you get

back on your feet, huh?

Thanks, Mr. Lee.

Wow. That heat is tremendous.

Take this.

- What's this for?

- For the rats.

Rats?

Uncle Rob?

Hey. Hey, I thought

you were grounded.

Technically, I'm at the library

for the next 10 minutes.

But I'm not, really. I'm here.

Phew.

It's uncomfortably hot down here.

So, what brings you

to the House of Lee?

I have a way...

...we can still practice.

So I've taken four webcams...

... then interfaced our computers

to create a non-delayed...

... real-time virtual network.

Hello? Is this thing on?

- Can you hear us?

- Is this working?

Testing, testing.

Mike check. Check. Can you hear me?

This thing on?

- It's a camera, it's not a mike.

- I can hear you.

- We can hear you.

- Okay, let's do this.

- Oh!

- Oh, wow.

- Oh!

It's not a mike, Uncle Rob.

What?

- Is anybody else seeing this?

Okay. All right.

Am I the only one seeing this?

Why is no one else reacting?

- Try "Tomorrow Never Comes."

- Curtis, are you watching this?

- Okay, "Tomorrow Never Comes."

- This is sick. Fish.

- Oh, God. Okay.

Okay, here we go.

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