The Sandlot: Heading Home Page #3

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- All right, fellas, let's go.

I want you to focus. When I start talking,

I want you listening, okay?

All right, let's go.

[Chattering, Whooping]

- Hey, Benny, over here.

- You might wanna get a little further out there.

- [Boy] Out there, Two Ton.

- Here we go, fellas.

Hey, Benny.

It's pretty weird, right?

I mean, it's like

The Twilight Zone or something.

Maybe you could tell me

how we, uh, got...

here.

You asking me how I got here?

Same way these kids

are gonna get there.

- 'Cause they love to play ball.

That's the key, kid.

- You look so...

- So...

- Yeah?

- Well, young.

- Really?

Maybe I should be lookin' in the same

mirror you're lookin' in, kid.

No, I wouldn't really

recommend that.

Come on, hotshot.

Let's see what you got.

You know what?

I think I'm just gonna watch.

- Okay.

- Some all-star.

"All-star"? Ha.

As in, "I'll start later."

Just full of it.

I'll tell you, try to do a weirdo a favor,

and it just gets "weirdo-er."

- Yeah, really.

- Get ready, fellas. Here it comes.

- Let's go.

- Get it!

- Come on. That's it.

- I've got it.

Nice. Now throw it back home.

Oh, nice throw.

Yeah, nice catch.

You new to town?

- Not really.

- I'm Squints Palledorous.

- Baseball commissioner, right?

- Yeah, that's right.

Go, Wings! Go, Wings!

- Wings.

- You know Wings McKay?

Sure. You can never forget

that kind of speed.

[Laughs] Kid's got no second gear,

that's for sure.

It's gonna catch up to him though.

- I don't think anyone can catch him.

- Except the cops.

- [Boy] Hey, Wok, move to second.

- [Boy #2] Come on, Q.

- Just pick up the ball, Q.

- In a minute.

That's Q. Short for I.Q.

He's wicked smart.

Not really that great

an outfielder though.

I'm using the probability calculation

of wind-speed velocity...

versus the angle

of the descent of the ball.

I'm gonna descend upon your head if you

don't pick up that ball and throw it in.

Takes it all apart.

Breaks everything down to a science.

You ever notice how the wind-speed

velocity changes when you speak, Two Ton?

Pick up the ball now.

I guess it paid off. He's only one

of the biggest brain surgeons...

I mean brains in the world.

[Laughs]

You okay, kid?

You might wanna get

out of the sun.

It's not the sun.

I just can't believe what I'm seeing.

That's not good. Here.

You give this card

to your mom, come in...

I'll set you up

with some quality shades.

Speakin' of the shade.

Come on, kid.

Follow me.

What's up with this "kid" crap?

[Benny]

Oh, nice, Timber. Go to second.

- All right, here we go. Another...

- Wings, go to first.

- [Benny] Nice catch.

- That guy taking the mound.

His name's Timber.

That kid can throw some real heat.

- Yeah.

- But he can't pitch at batters, right?

Yeah, left or right. Put anybody in the box,

his arm turns into spaghetti.

- Whoa!

- Sorry.

Okay, that's good.

Just keep throwin' 'em a little lower.

You're doin' good.

Should have worn a batting helmet.

You know a lot

about these kids for a new kid.

- [Chuckles]

- What do you know about Wok and Roll?

It's a little old school.

Lately I've been getting into some

hip-hop, some rap here and there.

What? I'm talking about

Matt "Wok" Wakamoto...

and Rolando "Roll" Alvarez.

Of course.

Wok and Roll.

- How could I forget those guys?

- "Forget those guys"?

No, no. I mean, together they play great,

separate they play awful.

If you know so much about these guys,

how come I don't know you?

How come you're not playing?

Okay, guys, bring it in.

Bring it in.

- [Boy] You guys, go. Come on.

- [Boy #2] Go!

Okay, now...

do one of you guys have the guts

to hit off a real major leaguer?

- Oh, no, not me.

- I gotta rest my arm, Benny.

- No, he's your guy.

- I'm the catcher.

Right here, partner.

Right here.

[Boy]

Guys, I gotta see this. Okay, fine.

[Boy #2]

He's gonna get his butt whupped.

- Come on, strike him out, Benny.

- Come on, Benny.

- Strike him out.

- All right.

- What's your name, kid?

- Tommy Santorelli.

And I promise you this.

You're not gonna forget it, Benny.

- Ooh!

- Oh, man.

- Ho, ho.

- Who does this kid think he is, hank Aaron?

- I like your confidence, kid.

- Now let's see what you got.

- This is like deja vu.

- What's like deja vu?

- This is like deja vu.

What's like deja vu?

[Laughs]

Got ya.

I'm just gonna go nice and easy

on ya at first, okay?

You know what, Benny? That's always

been your problem. You're too nice.

- Excuse me?

- You're excused.

[Jeering]

Now bring it.

Okay.

And Santa takes it

to the North Pole.

Nice shot, kid.

All right, now a little more.

You're gonna have to do

better than that, Benny. Come on.

Yeah, I think his swing

might be better than Hank Aaron's.

Yeah.

All right, now, I'm gonna give you

a little more heat, okay?

Please hit this.

Don't worry about it.

I'm the Santa. Come on.

Whoa.

Good pick, kid.

Wait. Your name's Ryan, right?

Hey, what do you say?

Where'd you learn

to hit like that, kid?

Starin' down the likes

of Randy Johnson, Roger Clemens.

- You learn fast, or you die trying.

- Who are those guys?

- Must be seventh graders.

- Seventh graders.

Hey, with him on our team,

we could enter the all-city championships.

- "Enter"? You guys could win it.

- Very high probability.

Wait a minute, guys. Who said anything

about me playing on your team?

I'm not gonna be here that long.

Look at it this way. I showed you

how it's done. That's my gift to you.

Hey, they don't call me

the Santa for nothin'.

- [Grumbling]

- Stupid Santa.

You got some talent, kid.

There's a lot more

to baseball than talent.

Maybe you should have taken some

of that advice in the '81 World Series.

[Chuckles]

I like you, kid.

You got quite the imagination.

'81 World Series, huh?

- You guys see that homer?

- It was pretty good, right?

- Yeah.

- You need to show us how.

- Squints! How's it goin' there, buddy?

- Like you really care.

Just being polite.

EJ., all the way to the fence now.

What are you doing here, Needman?

- Taking some measurements.

- Measurements? For what?

Oh, didn't you hear?

City's putting the sandlot up for sale.

- You can't sell the sandlot.

- Oh, yeah, they can, and I'm buying it.

- Excuse me?

- Face it, Squints.

This old field has run its course.

Besides, there's no real talent

over here nowadays anyway.

Well, you didn't see what I just saw.

Well, I know that I can fetch

a nice price tag...

on some newly developed condos

right where we're standing.

Well, as long as I'm commissioner here,

I don't see that happening.

Yeah? Well, then clean your glasses...

because you got the future

right here, and you don't even see it.

Don't slack that off now!

E. J! Take it all the way

out to the fence.

[Continues, Indistinct]

So, did you have fun playing today?

It was a little below my league,

but, yeah, I think I did.

That's great, sweetie.

I'm glad.

How was your day?

Are you feeling all right?

I'm feeling fine, sweetie.

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