The Sandlot Page #3

- [Gasps]

Something got the ball.

W-What was that thing?

[All]

Camp out.

[Scotty]

Hey, guys, sorry I'm late.

- My mom made me put on my jacket,

- Shut up!

- And then she made me do the dishes.

- [Boys Laughing]

Your poor little mommy

made you do the big bad dishes.

- Hey, you want a s'more?

- Some more what?

- No, no, you want a s'more?

- [Boys Chattering]

I haven't had anything yet,

so how can I have some more of nothing?

- Shut up!

- You're killing me, Smalls.

- All right. Who cut one?

- These are s'mores stuff.

- Okay, pay attention.

- Bertram!

First you take the graham.

You stick the chocolate

on the graham.

- Then you roast the 'mallow.

- No, it's my sleeping bag.

When the 'mallow's flaming,

Yes, it is yours.

It has a yellow stain on it.

You stick it

on the chocolate.

- You're gonna set the place on fire.

- Then...

- you cover it with the other end.

- Make me one of those.

Yeah, me too.

- Then you stuff.

- I don't like that chocolate stuff.

Kind of messy, but good.

Try some.

Okay. Quiet, you guys.

- [Chattering]

- Shh! Shh!

Quiet! Are you trying

to wake it up?

It just went to bed.

- What just went to bed?

- [Boys] Shh!

The Beast.

- Oh, yeah!

- Shh!

- Jeez.

- Dang.

Shh.

Now quiet.

The legend of The Beast

goes back a long time...

before any of us

could even pick up a baseball.

Back to a place

called Mertle's Acres.

It all started about, mmm,

20 years ago,

when thieves kept stealing junk

from Mertle's Acres junkyard.

So Mr. Mertle, the guy

that used to own the place,

got him this new pup

from the dog pound.

He fed him whole sides of beef...

and turned the pup loose

in the junkyard.

And the pup was grateful.

[Thunderous Footsteps]

And so, in a few weeks,

the pup grew into The Beast.

And he grew big,

and he grew mean...

so that he could protect the junkyard

with only one thing on his mind: :

To kill everyone

that broke in.

- And he did, and he liked it a lot!

- [Men Screaming]

The Beast was the most perfect

junkyard dog that ever lived.

A true killing machine.

But after a while, the cops started

getting phone calls from people...

reporting all the missing thieves,

the ones The Beast had killed.

It added up to about 120...

173 guys.

- It's true.

- [Growling]

They never found a single body.

Not one. Some people say

they all got away.

But we all know

what really happened.

The Beast ate them.

He ate them bone and all.

The Beast was too good

at his guard dog job,

so the police said

he had to be retired.

My grandpa, Squidman Palledorous,

was police chief back then.

He ordered Mr. Mertle to turn

his backyard into a fortress...

and chain up The Beast

and put him under the house...

where he could never get out

to eat children and stuff.

- That's where he's been for 20 years.

- [Growling]

And that's where he'll be

for the rest of his life.

Because Mr. Mertle

asked the cops how long...

he had to keep The Beast

chained up like a slave,

they said until forever.

Forever. Forever.

Forever. Forever.

Forever.

[Echoing]

And so, The Beast sits there

under that lean-to,

dreaming of the time when he can

break the chain and get out,

dreaming of the time

he can chase and kill again.

See, man? That's why

you can't go over there.

Nobody ever has.

Nobody ever will.

One kid did, but nobody

ever seen him again.

- That ain't true.

- Yeah, it is.

He got eaten.

Nuh-uh.

No. None of that's true.

You guys are just making this up

to scare me.

Oh, yeah?

Stick your head

out that window...

and look down.

[Scotty Narrating] That night I

learned that more than 150 baseballs...

had gone over that fence and not one

of them was ever seen again,

- even when some brave kid...

- [The Beast Growling]

Worked up enough courage

to peek over.

Because when they went over,

they vanished.

I knew it was true.

- Because when I looked down in there,

- [Growling Continues]

I didn't see a single solitary one.

- [Chain Rattling]

- [Screaming]

- He's down there.

- You bet he is.

Whatever goes over that fence...

stays there.

It becomes the property

of The Beast...

forever.

- Come on, give it to me.

- No, I wanna carry it.

- Come on. I paid for it.

- I wanna carry it.

- Oh. Whoa!

- Give it to me.

- Jeez Louise.

- What's the matter?

- Jeez.

Wendy Peffercorn. Mmm.

- Whoa!

- Wow!

- Come on, let's go. We gotta get...

- No!

- We gotta get to the sandlot. Let's go.

- [Chattering]

- Come on. Let's go.

- Okay.

[Panting]

I'm sweating like a pig.

Let's go! Come on!

Where you guys been?

We've been waiting here forever already.

Aw, Squints was pervin' a dish.

- Shut up. I wasn't.

- Yeah, yeah, you were.

Your tongue was hangin' out of

your head, and you was swoonin'.

Oh, Wendy Peffercorn,

my darling lover girl. [Chuckles]

I said shut up!

I've got a lot of things

on my mind.

This pop isn't working, Benny.

I'm baking like a toasted cheeser!

It's so hot here!

It's 150 degrees out there.

You can't play baseball.

- You have to call it for the day.

- You gotta listen to him, Benny.

Vote then.

Anybody who wants to be...

a "can't hack it" pantywaist...

who wears their mama's bra,

raise your hand.

- Yeah, I can handle that.

- [Chattering In Agreement]

Fine, fine, fine!

Be like that.

So what are we gonna do?

[Laughing]

Scam pool honeys!

[Scotty Narrating] Benny would've

played ball all day, all night, rain,

shine, tidal wave, whatever.

Baseball was the only thing

he cared about.

But of all the things

we ever did besides baseball,

going to the pool

was what he tolerated best.

Even though none of us had

ever seen a Playboy magazine,

- which we constantly lied about,

- Hi.

We figured going to the pool was

the next best thing to being there.

I remember you.

Oh, sexy.

Hey, girls.

Cannonball!

[Women Screaming]

[Scotty Narrating] It wasn't really

the pool honeys like we said,

because if any one of them

had come up to any one of us,

we'd have just peed our pants.

We all went because...

well, because Wendy Peffercorn

was the lifeguard.

- Aw, man.

- Yeah, yeah. Too cool.

[Timmy]

She don't know what she's doing.

[Tommy]

She don't know what she's doing.

[Benny]

Yeah, she does.

She knows exactly

what she's doing.

I've swum here every summer

of my adult life.

And every summer,

there she is,

lotioning, oiling,

oiling, lotioning.

- One day it became too much...

- Smiling.

- For Michael "Squints"Palledorous.

- Smiling!

I can't take this no more!

- Move!

- And he did the most desperate thing...

- Lotioning, oiling.

- Any of us...

- had ever seen.

- Lotioning,

oiling.

[Chuckles]

- What's wrong with him?

- What's he doing?

Three summers of this.

I think he finally snapped.

I don't know. But that's the deep end,

and Squints can't swim.

[Shuddering]

[Giggles]

[All Shouting]

[Shouting Continues]

- Somebody help him!

- Squints!

Somebody help him!

Come on!

[Shouting Continues]

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