The Sandlot Page #4

Move back. Move back.

- Okay, I got him. I got him.

- Come on up, Wendy.

Everybody move back.

Move back. Roll him over.

Never mind! Never mind!

- Come on, Squints.

- [Exhaling Forcefully]

- Come on, Squints.

- Come on!

- Squints!

- [Exhaling Forcefully]

- Come on, Squints. Squints.

- Come on, Squints. Come on.

- Wake up.

- Come on, breathe, would you?

Come on, Squints!

You can do it! Pull through, bud!

- Come on, man! Come on!

- Yeah, yeah. He looks pretty crappy.

Squints! Come on, man.

Oh, God, he looks

like a dead fish.

[Boys]

What?

- [Muffled Grunt]

- [Screams] Little pervert!

- Oh, man, he's in deep sh*t.

- And stay out!

Oh, hey, here's your glasses.

Did you plan that?

Of course I did.

I been planning it for years.

You guys, he planned that!

He knew what he was doing!

Michael "Squints"Palledorous

walked a little taller that day.

We had to tip our hats to him.

He was lucky she hadn't

beat the crap out of him.

We wouldn't have blamed her.

What he'd done was sneaky,

rotten and low... and cool.

Not another one among us

would've ever in a million years...

even for a million dollars had the guts

to put the move on the lifeguard.

He did.

He had kissed a woman,

and he had kissed her long

and good.

We got banned from the pool

forever that day.

But every time we walked by

after that,

the lifeguard looked down

from her tower,

- right over at Squints...

- and smiled.

[Boys Laughing, Chattering]

- [Knocking]

- Get your glove and come on.

- What's the big deal?

- Night game. Come on. Come on.

- Mom, I'm going out!

- [Fireworks Whistling]

[Scotty Narrating]

There was only one night game a year.

- Guys, wait up!

- On the 4th of July...

the whole sky would brighten up

with fireworks,

giving us just enough light

for a game.

We played our best then

because, I guess, we all felt

like the big leaguers...

under the lights

of some great stadium.

Benny felt like that

all the time.

We all knew he was gonna go on

to bigger and better games,

because every time we stopped

to watch the sky on those nights

like regular kids,

he was there to call us back.

You see, for us,

baseball was a game.

But for

Benjamin Franklin Rodriguez,

baseball was life.

- [Boys Shouting]

- Okay, hit it!

- Yeah, yeah, come on, Benny.

- [Fireworks Whistling, Crackling]

- Man!

[Boys Shouting]

[Boys Shouting]

- Come on! Hurry up!

- First!

Run!

Back off!

Yeah, yeah!

- Throw it in! Throw it in!

- Get him! Get him!

Come on! Come on!

Come on!

- Come on! Hurry up!

- Go, Benny!

- [Groaning]

- Oh, damn!

Oh, no!

It's easy when you play with a bunch

of rejects and a fat kid, Rodriguez.

- Shut your mouth, Phillips.

- What'd you say, crap face?

I said you shouldn't even

be allowed to touch a baseball.

Except for Rodriguez,

you're all an insult to the game.

Come on! We'll take you on

right here, right now!

- Come on!

- [All Shouting In Agreement]

We play on a real diamond, Porter.

You ain't good enough to lick

the dirt off our cleats.

- Watch it, jerk.

- Shut up, idiot!

- Moron!

- Scab eater!

- Butt sniffer!

- Pus licker!

- Fart smeller!

- [Sniffing] Ah!

You eat dog crap

for breakfast, geek.

You mix your Wheaties

with your mama's toe jam!

[All]

Yeah!

You bob for apples in the toilet

and you like it.

- Ooh.

- You play ball like a girl!

[Laughing]

- What did you say?

- You heard me.

Tomorrow.

Noon. At our field.

Be there, buffalo-butt breath.

Count on it,

pee-drinking crap face!

[All]

Yeah!

Let's go!

[Chattering]

We're gonna kick

their butts tomorrow.

Yeah!

- Good job.

- Jerks.

Play ball!

Hurry up, batter.

It's gonna be a short game,

and I gotta get home for lunch.

[Snickers]

That's one.

You know, if I had a dog

as ugly as you,

I'd shave his butt

and tell him to walk backwards.

The heater.

Here it comes.

I dare you.

Strike three.

You're out.

Hey, is that your sister

out there in left field, naked?

- She's naked.

- Shut up, Porter!

Hey, hey, hey.

I'm just trying to have

a little friendly conversation.

Come on. You think

she'd go out with me?

Come on.

Show me your stuff.

- Let's see what you got.

- Hey, batter, batter, batter!

- Take him out!

- [Boys Shouting]

- Come on!

- Bring it in!

- Oh! Beat ya.

- [Shouting Continues]

Throw it to third!

[Scotty Narrating]

We were all walking on air that night.

It had been a solid victory.

In fact, we beat the crap

out of those guys.

So we all went to celebrate.

And we did

the stupidest thing...

any of us had ever done.

- Hey, guys, it's all on me tonight.

- [All Shouting]

Thanks, Benny!

Nine tickets, please.

- Hey, Benny.

- Thanks.

- Hey, Benny.

- Benny.

- Come on, you guys!

- What about me? Thanks.

Aw, crap!

I almost forgot!

- What?

- What?

Chaw! I was saving it

for a good time.

- What is it?

- Big Chief.

[Sniffing]

The best!

Jeez, Smalls. I suppose you don't

even know who The Babe is either.

It's plug. Wad.

Chewing tobacco.

- 'Baccy, man.

- What do you do with it?

You're killing me, Smalls.

- Chew it, of course. Yes.

- You do?

Yeah, sure, man.

All the pros do it.

Yeah, yeah.

Gives you tons of energy.

- Let's dip. Let's dip.

- You got it, guys.

Come on. I want some.

- Mm. Mm.

- Mm.

- The best.

- Let's ride!

- Yeah!

- Yeah!

% % ['50s Rock]

Mm!

% % [Continues]

- Yeah-hah!

- Yeah!

- Whoo-hoo!

- Squints, this is the best!

Wow! Yeah! Whoo!

All right!

Yeah!

[Moaning]

Blech!

[Moaning Continues]

[Moans]

- [Vomiting]

- [Vomiting]

- [Vomiting]

- [Women Screaming]

[Screaming]

- [Belching]

[Belches]

Oh, that feels better.

I'll be back in an hour.

I'm gonna take your dad to the airport.

Oh, okay.

Honey, are you feeling all right?

You look kind of pale.

- I'm fine, Mom.

- You sure?

- I'm fine, really.

- All right.

Listen, Scott.

While I'm gone, you're the man

of the house. Understand?

- Okay.

- Okay.

- Where are you going?

- Chicago.

On business for a week.

- We'll take another stab at catch

when I get back, all right?

- Yeah, I guess so.

- Take care of things for me.

- Okay.

- All right?

- I will.

Okay. Be a good boy.

- I will.

- Okay.

[Scotty Narrating] A couple days after

we all got over acting like big shots,

we swore off the hard stuff forever

and just stuck to Bazooka.

But the day we all got back

together for some baseball...

was the day I got us into

the biggest pickle of all time,

and it all started with an omen.

Oh, man.

I don't believe it.

- Bitchin'.

- [Benny] Nah, it ain't.

Come on. Maybe two or three

guys in history...

ever busted the guts out of a ball.

- Must be an omen.

- All's it means is that

we can't play no more.

It's only 12:
00, and I just ruined

the whole day for us.

No, you didn't. That's the most

amazing thing I ever saw.

- Yeah.

- [Benny] Anybody got any money?

- [All] No.

- Then it ain't okay, 'cause

now we can't play no more.

Yeah, we can.

What, you got 98 extra cents

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