The Santa Clause Page #4

We've got a lot of work to do | and only a year in which to do it.

- Judy. | - Santa.

- Scott Calvin. | - Follow me.

- I'll just take the next train. | - Dad, come on!

Charlie!

- Come on, Dad! | - Charlie, wait up!

- That's funny. I like that. | - I like that too. But I don't like--

Wow!

Can I get you anything? | The kitchen's always open.

How about a stiff drink?

You should get some sleep.

Here are your pyjamas. | I'll be right back.

Oh, oh, look, Judy. | Look. Look over there.

There's a--

Look. Look over there. | I know.

Look. Look over there. | There's a canoe. Aha, it's true.

Oh, look, there's an emu.

- Look at him. | - Shoo.

- Santa? | - Scott Calvin.

- I brought you some cocoa. | - No, thanks.

My own recipe. Took me | 1,200 years to get it right.

- 1,200 years? | - That's right.

You know, I must say, you look | pretty good for your age.

Thanks, but I'm seeing | someone in wrapping.

This is good.

This is really good.

Not too hot, extra chocolate, | shaken, not stirred.

You look distressed.

Distressed? | I'm way past distressed.

- Why's that? | - I'm talking to an elf.

And I stopped believing | in Santa Claus a long time ago.

That's not surprising. | Most grown-ups can't believe in magic.

It just... sort of | grows out of them.

Look, you're | a nice little elf.

- Thanks. | - But this is a dream.

I mean, this is fabulous.

Is that a polar bear | directin' traffic down there?

I-- I see it, | but I don't believe it.

- You're missing the point. | - What is the point?

Seeing isn't believing: | believing is seeing.

Kids don't have to see this place | to know that it's here.

They just... know.

Well, you should get some rest. | Good night, sir.

Dad!

Dad!

Wake up, sleepy!

Come on, get up!

Dad!

Dad!

Dad!

Come on, Dad! Come on!

You should see | all the neat toys.

- Stop shakin' me, Charlie. | - Come on. Get up. Get up!

- Okay! | - Come on. It's Christmas morning.

- Great! G-Go and make some coffee. | - Come on, Dad. Let's go!

Okay. Okay.

- Are you okay, Dad? | - Yeah. Just fine. Just fine.

Are you having a heart attack? | I know CPR.

No, I was just--

- S.C.? | - Yeah, Santa Claus.

Hey. Same initials | as your name, Dad.

Scott Calvin.

What?

Oh, Charlie! Oh, | merry Christmas, honey!

- Did you have a good time? | - Great time! The best!

Great-- Oh, ho, Scott. | Nice P.J.s. Very festive.

- Where'd you get them? | - I don't know.

- Judy gave them to you. | - Judy. Really.

- Who? | - Up in the North Pole.

Ah, one of Santa's | little helpers.

Last night, Dad and me | went with the flying reindeer.

It was really neat, Mom. Dad was Santa, | and Larry showed me the workshop.

-You know, where they make all the toys? | -Gee, thanks for...

- keeping his feet on the ground. | - You bet.

Honey, you go wait in the car | for a minute, okay? I'll be right there.

- Merry Christmas. | - Bye, Dad. Thanks for a great night | at the North Pole.

So, uh, what have you | been telling him?

Nothing. It's just... | I had this really strange dream.

And l-- I must have | told him all about it.

Wait!

- Charlie. | - Scott. | - Hi, Dad.

- Nice jammies. | - Thanks. About what you said | in the house.

- Who showed you the workshop? | - The elf.

- How'd I get the pyjamas? | - I told you. Judy.

Oh, wait. Wait. Judy was the name of the | waitress at the restaurant last night.

- Some waitress gave you pyjamas? | - What's this all about?

Dad took me to the North Pole, | and Larry showed me the workshop.

- The North Pole. | - Yeah. Dad's the new Santa.

The regular Santa fell off the roof, | and Dad put on the suit.

Charlie, we'll discuss this at home.

The clause. | The Santa Clause.

It's just a dream. | Stuff like that doesn't happen.

It was a dream. Come on!

I don't even wear pyjamas! | Normally I sleep naked. Buck naked.

Ha! Morning, Mrs McGloin. | Mary Catherine.

Eyes front, | Mary Catherine.

Sometimes boxer shorts. | You know.

So, remember, kids, there is nothing | more painful than third degree burns.

Well, thank you, | Fireman O'Hara.

And I think the whole class | will join me in saying...

sorry about your partner.

Well, perhaps this is a good time | to bring up the psychiatrist.

Charlie, would you like | to introduce your, um--

Dr Miller?

Can I ask Dad to go first?

Well, if that's how | you feel, Charlie.

That's how he feels, Neal. | Come on. Nice sweater, buddy.

This is my dad, Scott Calvin. | He's got a really neat job.

- Thank you, Charlie. | - My dad is Santa Claus.

Oh, boy! I think what he means is, | I'm like Santa Claus.

We're both giving. | We're both jolly.

And we both work very hard | one day a year.

- Oh, boy. | - That's not what I mean, Dad.

Look, on Christmas Eve, | my dad pushed Santa off the roof.

- No, Charlie-- Ch-- Charlie. | - Santa disappeared | and my dad took his place.

- Charlie! | - Then I went with him | to deliver all the presents.

Then the reindeer flew us to the | North Pole where the head elf,

- Charlie. | - Bernard, gave me this.

Look, I work for a toy company. | I deliver toys all over the country.

So, in a way, | I'm like Santa Claus.

- Yes, sweetheart? | - Do you make the toys?

No, stupid, the elves do!

Bobby, we don't say "stupid," | and we don't say "elves." | They're little people.

- No, but they really are elves. | - Whatever, honey.

- Which one's your favourite reindeer? | - Comet.

Uh, l, l, I don't have a favourite.

So, let me get this | straight, Santa.

You mean, when I grow up, | if I wanna be Santa Claus,

all I gotta do is | push you off a roof?

All right, he said that. He said that | it was the best Christmas he ever had.

- Oh, big surprise. What do you think? | - It's just nice to hear it from him.

- Is that a problem with you? | - That's my responsibility, isn't it? | - All right. So?

May I speak, please? | I am a doctor.

No, he's not. | He's a psychiatrist.

Please. Go ahead, Dr Miller.

I guess we know | who's the teacher's pet.

Scott! Oh, grow up.

The reason we're here is that | this is far more serious...

than a boy believing | or not believing in Santa Claus.

That's right, because Charlie thinks | that this whole thing actually happened.

Scott, what was the last thing | you and Charlie did...

before you went to bed | Christmas Eve?

We shared a bowl of sugar: | did some shots of brown liquor:

played with my shotguns: | field dressed a cat:

Iooked for women.

- I read him a book. | - What book?

Uh, Hollywood Wives.

The Night Before Christmas, folks. | Come on!

And did you | go to the North Pole?

T-This is ridiculous. | I don't have time for this.

Ridiculous or not, Scott, | for Charlie, this isn't some dream.

It is real.

You need to sit down | with Charlie. Explain to him...

you are not Santa Claus.

They're like the bears | at the North Pole, Dad.

Charlie, I already told ya. | We did not go to the North Pole.

- That was a dream. | - You're in denial, Dad.

Denial. You don't | even know what that means.

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