The Santa Clause Page #5

Well, you are. | I know what happened.

How do you know that? | How? You don't have any proof.

- Proof? | - Why can't we both think of it as just | a great dream and forget about it?

What about this? Remember | all the neat stuff inside?

Charlie, this is a toy.

We used to make things like this | at work, but no one bought 'em.

Here. I don't wanna | talk about this any more.

I know who you are, Dad. | You'll figure it out soon enough.

There are a lot of kids that believe | in you. You can't let them down.

Charlie, you're wrong.

- What's so funny? | - Nothing.

He sees you | when you're sleeping

He knows when you're awake

He knows if you've | been bad or good

Rollin' | Keep those reindeer rollin'

Okay, you better watch out | You better not cry

-You better not pout I'm tellin' you why | -Come on, Dancer. Come on, Prancer.

- Santa Claus is coming | - Whoa! We can't stop.

- To town | - But I have to go to the bathroom.

I told you, you should've gone | before we left the North Pole.

And rummy tum-tums

Whoa! Right here. | Turn over here.

Curly-haired dolls | that toddle and coo

Elephant spokes | and kiddie cars too

- Where is he? | - Well, he could be in his room,

jumping up and down on his bed | wearing a red hat and galoshes.

I don't care what Neal's doing. | Where's Charlie?

Oh, ho, ho. | Oh, I see, I see.

Well, if you can't be father of the | year, why not be Father Christmas, huh?

Charlie, | it's just not logical.

How can one man | in one night...

visit all the children | of the world?

Not everyone | celebrates Christmas.

And I think there's some sort | of time continuum that breaks down | once Santa's in his sleigh.

What about fireplaces? | A lot of people don't have them.

How does Santa | visit those people?

He turns into Jell-O and--

The fireplace kind of appears, | and he goes through it like this.

What about the reindeer?

- Have you ever seen a reindeer fly? | - Yes.

- Well, I haven't. | - Have you ever seen a million dollars?

No!

Just because you haven't seen it | doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Hey, Neal. | Howdy, sport.

- Hi, Dad. | - You wanna take a walk? | I wanna talk to you.

- Sure. I'll get my coat. | - Okay. Hustle up.

Scott? Can I have a minute?

Sure.

I think Charlie is conflicted | at the moment.

Wow. Really?

Boy. Hmm. Appreciate | your analysis. I really do.

But, boy, you got more important things | to worry about, you know.

Like, where are you gonna | get more sweaters after | the circus pulls outta town?

Scott! I mean, | you're not listening.

We are very concerned about this.

Concerned about what?

This--

If Charlie spending time with you | is the best thing for him.

You were right | about the sweater, okay?

Do you think by next year | I'll be big enough to drive | the sleigh all by myself?

- No! | - But I've been practising.

No, that's not what I'm talkin' about. | Charlie, hold on a second.

We've got to talk about | this Santa Claus thing.

Charlie, there-- | there is no--

No what, Dad?

There's no reason why we have to | tell anybody about the North Pole.

- Why not? | - Well, sometimes some things, | big things,

should remain un-- unsaid, | like between two people--

- Oh, you mean like a secret. | - Yes. Like a secret. | Let's keep it a secret.

How come?

Because of Mom and Neal.

Not just because of them. | There's school.

Everybody thinks-- Well, | it's not important what they think.

It--

How does five bucks sound to ya?

This is something I really | want you to do for me, sport.

I want to keep this secret. | Will ya do that, please?

- Okay, Dad. | - All right.

Great.

You don't have to worry about | the Santa Claus thing any more.

So when do I get the five bucks?

...15 in the morning. | It's gonna be a beautiful day.

Spend the day with me, | Larry B.

Huh?

Something's wrong with the mirror.

What? Something's wrong | with the scale.

Excuse me. Excuse me. Uh--

Hmm. I'll have a field green | salad and-- Oh, my God.

- What the-- | - What? Scott?

Calvin?

Sorry, um, the dry cleaner | in my neighbourhood went up in smoke.

Some big chemical fire. | All my clothes, poof, gone.

God. Your-- Your weight.

What happened?

Bee sting. | Evidently I'm allergic.

Almost killed me. But the guy | at the emergency room says...

the swelling will go down.

I hope. So, | did I miss anything?

No, we were, uh, | just about to order lunch.

Great! I'm starving.

I'll have a salad and iced tea | and dressing on the side.

Uh, pasta and tomatoes, uh, and | very light on the oil. Can you do that?

And I'll have a Caesar. | No dressing.

And one of those home-made cookies, | the warm chocolate chip. No nuts.

And, uh, a little slice of cheesecake. | Uh, creme brulee...

and, um, hot fudge sundae, | extra hot fudge.

On the side.

- Anything to drink? | - Ice-cold milk.

- Stung by a bee, Scott? | - A big bee.

Finished?

Okay, now, remember. | This is just a storyboard.

But here is | our preliminary...

Total Tank TV spot.

Okay, now, we've got Santa. | He's up in the North Pole.

He's gettin' ready | for... Christmas!

- Oh, no. | - Problem?

It's just a little thing. | The elves.

- What about the elves? | - They look so funny.

They're supposed to look funny. | They're elves.

Just my opinion. | Can't they look a little younger...

with silver specks | on their cheeks?

- Can we continue here? | - Okay.

Now, this year Santa's | not goin' out in a sleigh.

This time he's goin' | Total Tank.

Wait a minute! No way! No way Santa's | goin' anywhere without his sleigh.

He would if he's tryin' | to sell the Total Tank.

Well, isn't that a pretty picture.

Santa's rollin' down the block | in a panzer.

Well, kids, l-- I certainly hope | you've been good this year.

'Cause it looks like Santa | just took out the Pearson home.

- Incoming! | - Oh, please.

And another thing. | What about the reindeer?

Reindeer and Santa. Santa and reindeer. | I-lt's kind of a package deal.

- Calvin. | - You don't believe in Santa, do ya?

Calvin, can we get | back to the presentation?

I'm not done yet. | Since we've opened this box,

have any of you tried | to build the Total Tank?

It's got 10,000 parts, | and even if you do get it together, | it breaks ten minutes later.

- Then you gotta spend more | money just to buy new parts. | - I thought that was the whole point.

No, no, no, no.

What we gotta do is develop | a, a basic, simple, inexpensive toy...

that will nurture | a child's creative thinking.

- Calvin-- | - Here, try the brown ones.

Can I see you outside a minute?

I don't know | what's happening to you.

You're starting to look like | the Pillsbury dough boy.

- Y-You're falling apart. | - I know! I know.

-I don't know what came over me. | -W-Well, just get some help.

You know, y-you should s-see a doctor, | a shrink, a dietician, anything.

Just get some help.

Okay, Scott. Time is up.

- Let's get over here | and check your pulse. | - All right.

Okay, hmm?

Huh? Well, nuts. I--

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