The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Page #5

Of course, the medical aspects

would be respected.

And a competent...

A competent staff of research men...

Yes, Mr. McClure?

Any question?

No questions.

A competent staff of research men...

What in confounded tarnation

are you and that pigeon trying to do?

Listen to me!

I was hanging by my hands!

A tall doctor pushed me out the window!

- What is this? What tall doctor?

- The one you sent to tell me the story!

He didn't come to tell my any story!

He came to push me out the window!

I didn't send anyone to throw you

out of the window!

I've got more important things to do!

- Well, here's his vest.

- Who's vest?

- The man you sent...

- Mitty!

I don't know whether

you're drunk or crazy!

Throw that pigeon out,

and you get out of here!

- I'll talk to you later.

- I'm sorry, Mr. Pierce.

Excuse me!

So sorry.

Get out of here, Mitty! Get out!

I'm sorry, Mr. Pierce!

I'm terribly sorry!

Get out!

You know very well, if you're going

to get married...

you'll just have to ask for a raise.

Put those flowers in water for me,

will you, dear?

What was that?

- What was what?

- The clock didn't strike.

I definitely heard it not strike.

Will you please take it to Kudners

on Sixth Avenue.

They fixed Gertrude's metronome.

They can fix anything.

But don't say you'll do it

and then not do it.

I'll do it tomorrow afternoon.

Walter! Not in the lemonade!

For heaven's sake!

What's the matter with you?

You've been in a daze all evening.

Mother...

if a fellow was a witness to a murder,

and he was told not to say anything...

not even to his loved ones...

what should he do about it?

Can't you forget those stories of yours

for a moment?

They've brought Tubby Wadsworth.

Put your coat on, darling.

Put it on, and get rid of that paper.

Tubby Wadsworth.

- Anybody home?

- Irmagarde!

- My! What a stunning hat!

- Thank you.

- And Gertrude dear.

- Hello, Mother Mitty.

- Take your things off.

- All right.

And Tubby Wadsworth.

Gertrude brought me

and left Queenie home.

How do I look as a lap dog?

Woof! Woof!

- Hiya, Walt, old boy.

- Hello, Tubby.

Brought you a present.

- First edition.

- Well! Gee, thanks.

What is it?

Tubby's so thoughtful.

Well, isn't this wonderful.

Walter, you look so silly!

Little gadget I picked up

at a magic store.

Sneezing powder!

It's a howl, isn't it?

Sure is.

- Guess what, Eunice.

- What?

We have the Reverend Thomas

for Saturday!

- No!

- Thanks to Tubby.

Well, you know what they say:

"Unlucky in love, lucky in cards."

- What are we waiting for?

- You four play the first rubber.

Let's play for a 25th of a cent

and settle for half.

Oh, no, dear. No gambling.

Let's keep it social.

Cut for deal.

- King.

- Ten.

- Three.

- Two.

Pass those.

Care for some lady fingers, Tubby?

Only yours, Juliet.

Let's play some bridge.

- One no trump.

- Pass.

Five diamonds.

- Pass.

- Five diamonds?

Six no trump.

- Pass.

- By.

Pass.

Your lead, Walt.

How's that, partner?

Grand slam.

Slough the two hearts on the diamonds

and the spades are good.

You could have set me

if you'd have led a heart.

Walter's trouble is

he doesn't concentrate.

Card sense is like business sense. Don't

have one, you don't have the other!

That's what I'm always telling you,

Walter.

Your deal.

Cool as a cucumber...

Gaylord Mitty,

the Mississippi gambler...

puffed nonchalantly

on a handmade Havana.

Raise.

Once again, sir.

The deed to my plantation.

Call. Three kings.

I believe I have three bullets, sir.

Lady Luck hasn't been smiling upon you,

Colonel Wadsworth.

One more hand, Mitty.

With what, Colonel?

Ginger snaps?

I know you're in love

with my fiancee.

I'll play you one hand for her.

You'd pluck a star from the heavens...

and fling it on the soiled cloth

of a gaming table?

If I lose, I'Il...

I'll go north.

Is it a wager?

It's a wager, sir.

I'm terribly sorry, ladies.

Your pleasure, sir.

I'll play these.

Reckon this is one hand

you won't win.

This time I got the three aces.

That's mighty strange, Colonel.

I have four aces.

Why, you cheating dog!

Careful, Wadsworth.

These things have been known to go off.

The plink of banjos

could be heard over the paddle wheels...

as they went ta-pocketa, ta-pocketa...

in the moonlit water.

Gaylord Mitty squared

his enormous shoulders...

and called her name softly.

- Miss Gertrude?

- It was a touching moment.

Oh. It's you.

- I have the honor to inform you...

- I have already been informed.

I suppose you've come

to collect your bet...

you unspeakable riverboat gambler.

I have no intention of holding a lady

to any such bargain.

Here's the deed to the plantation

stolen from your father.

Try to think kindly of me when...

when I'm away.

Away?

Fort Sumter has been fired upon.

My regiment leaves at dawn.

Oh, Gaylord! How I've misjudged you!

I know it's too much

to hope for, ma'am, but if you'll wait...

Forever, Gaylord.

Swallow them up, old Mississippi.

This is my last deal.

Come on, Walt! Finish the deal!

Walter, what's the matter with you?

It's really you.

- You phoned yesterday.

- Yes, I called...

I wanted to tell you I found

the book you were looking for.

- It was on me!

- Thank heavens.

Where is it?

- I stuck it in a lady's corset.

- What?

A lady's corset that was being delivered

from Stacey's department store.

The lady's name was Follinsbee.

You had the book,

and you let it out of your hands?

I had to! A man was chasing me

with a long knife...

and another man

tried to push me out of a window!

I've been through a lot!

Well, we must find it!

Come show me where you put it.

I can't. I've got a dinner party

at 6:
30.

I've got to meet my mother

and lots of other people.

And by the time I get this clock

dropped off at Sixth Avenue, l...

It won't strike.

Mother's used to hearing it strike.

It keeps her awake,

and it's gotta be...

Oh, please, Miss van Hoorn.

Please don't cry.

I'm sorry.

It's just I'm so alone in all of this.

Uncle's helpless,

and I don't know where to turn.

Well, it shouldn't

be too hard to find.

I'll do anything I can to help.

- Would you?

- Sure.

How many Follinsbees can there be?

Let's look in the phone book.

- Well, this looks like it.

- Run up and check.

- You won't need that!

- It's Grandmother's clock.

- I mustn't let anything happen to it.

- I'll keep an eye on it.

Hurry. I'll stay down here

in case anything happens.

All right.

- What do you think'll happen?

- Please hurry!

- It's Follinsbee, all right!

- Well, knock on the door.

Knock on the door!

I'm terribly sorry!

- Is your name Follinsbee?

- That's right. What do you want?

Would you mind very much

if I looked in your wife's corset?

What?

I mean, yesterday

I slipped something into her corset.

How do you do?

- Do you know this guy?

- Never saw him before.

Oh, you don't...

So help me, Harry! I never saw the guy

before in my life!

Get out of here

or I'll knock your teeth in.

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