The Sex Addict Page #11

---

in this sight of god

and in the face of this company

to join together this man and

this woman in holy matrimony.

Wait.

Padre, I'm sorry.

I've something I gotta say.

Trudy, when I first laid

eyes on you,

I knew I had to have

sex with you.

But more than that, I needed to

discover you, find out who you are,

understand why you love

Tyler Perry movies.

But more importantly,

I needed to find out

why you haven't had sex yet

with that handsome devil

friend of yours, Rex.

You see, me and him,

we had a little chat.

He made me realize how

important you are to me.

Hey, man, you're gonna get

pink eye like that.

What?

Going from your nose

to your eye, man.

Your whole operation is nasty,

how you doing it.

Can I enjoy the wedding?

All right, man.

Ain't nothing wrong

with nasty, you know.

Jerome...

When I first met you,

I thought, "no more customers.

I've already had three today.

My fun box can't have any more."

Then we got to talking

and you told me that you wanted

to use lube and I thought,

"this is somebody that I need

to keep in my life forever."

And although

I'm forever paralyzed,

Jesus preaches forgiveness.

So I forgive you

for paralyzing me forever,

and more importantly,

I love you,

and I can't wait to spend

the rest of my life with you.

Do you, Jerome Gillespie,

take Trudy Garrett

- to be your lawfully wedded wife?

- I do.

And do you, Trudy Garrett,

take Jerome Gillespie to be

your lawfully wedded husband?

I do.

By the power invested in me

in the state of California,

you are now husband and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

Ooh!

Whore of Babylon!

Not you. You are not

the whore of Babylon.

- I love you. Your wheelchair is

the whore of Babylon. -I know.

Ah!

Just climb on over.

Yeah. Yep!

Thank you.

Should i...

Am i...

- Yeah?

- We're fine.

It is a beautiful day.

Yeah, I mean, just

to finally get married

after collecting all those stds

like they were Pokmon cards.

She's so lucky

to find a husband.

I kissed you.

And on the mouth!

Oh!

Oh!

It's off. It's off.

Whore of Babylon!

Are you happy now?

Stick your finger in my mouth.

Oh!

Whore of Babylon!

Oh!

I'm Theodore.

Let's not ruin this

with introductions.

We're gonna be happy.

It's gonna have a happy ending.

Why... why did you take

your pants off?

Why don't you leave

the questions to me?

Well, the question

that I wanted to ask you is...

Would you like

to sleep together?

No... no.

I didn't mean it like that.

I meant, do you wanna have sex?

Are you joking or...

That's what I meant.

That's why my pants are off.

No... no.

- I... I thought...

- No!

- There's something here...

- No.

I came here to do a serious

interview, I don't do porn,

I'm retired.

I'm a classy lady, so... no.

You're totally classy.

There's a bed right here,

there's a pretty clear message,

I think, right there.

I'm just saying,

let's take advantage

of the opportunity

while we're here.

- No.

- While there's a bed.

- No.

- I have a lubrication as well.

No, this isn't going well.

What's going on?

Oh, that's fine. Yeah, it's...

don't worry about that.

But, okay, fine,

we won't have intercourse.

That's fine. We don't have

to have intercourse.

Why don't you just sit there

and I'll just touch myself...

Until I finish?

You know what? This interview

is over, I'm sorry.

You're disgusting.

Mary, it's not

that big of a deal.

- It's nothing you haven't experienced...

- okay, I'm done!

I'm done, stop recording,

stop recording, I'm done.

- It's not that big of a deal.

- No!

- Leaving.

- Let's go.

- No!

- Oh, come on.

Go f*** yourself.

Well, I was trying to do that

but you got up.

I would like to have you here

while I do that.

- You're disgusting, I'm leaving.

I'm done. -Is that doable?

I don't...

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes